Permissive mom

Thismom is so open-minded that her brains fell out.

Miscellanea

Endangered species.

Hot mamas.

Looking for WMDs in all the wrong places.

Why did Bush secretly wiretap Americans without getting approval?

If you have to ask, you've never worked for government.

Government of any kind works in a stately, slow manner. Glaciers could take lessons from government.

In 2001, the governing body of the library where I worked finally agreed to install a new HVAC system. (For those who don't know, that is heating, ventilation, air-conditioning.) The damn thing kept breaking down, particularly the AC part, which kept spewing freon into the atmosphere, causing the library to be shut down and the fire department and the hazmat team to be summoned.

In 2002, they hired someone to write specs.

In 2003, they put it out for bids. The bids came in too high.

In 2004, they rewrote the specs.

In 2005, they did nothing. Yet.

How to:

Make a tasty dish for a large crowd;

end global warming;

perform perform stunts to amuse your kids;

celebrate half-nekkid day.

Akaky has a new website

And it's nice, too. It's all photos, and judging from the pictures, he lives in Upstate New York, Home of Perennial Winter. Power lines sagging with ice--that's upstate, all right. Ditto, trees laden with snow.

We once lived in Albany, where the city fathers left snow removal to solar energy. They were ahead of their time in their respect for Mother Nature. However, in deference to the hilliness of the place, they put containers full of sand at really bad intersections. You either learned to drive in the stuff or stayed home permanently.

In the Spring, the frozen creeks would start babbling again, trees bloomed, and the natives went nuts. There was a feeling of giddiness in the air. We've survived! No more snow! Could this last? It never did.

A patron of the arts dies

Helen Farr Sloan has died and left Delaware poorer:

Helen Farr Sloan gave the Delaware Art Museum nearly half of its 12,000 works of art and more than half of the 30,000 books and papers in its library. She also gave the Wilmington cultural institution, which she called "my family," most of the second half of her life.

Sloan died Tuesday night in Wilmington. She was 94. She has left her entire estate, easily valued in the six figures, to the museum.

The widow of John Sloan, one of the Ashcan School of illustrator/painters, she visited the museum in 1961 to help mount an exhibit on the Ashcan School. Those painters, also called "The Eight," were among the first Americans to depict gritty urban street scenes. Her husband died in 1951....

Sloan gave the museum more than 5,000 of its 12,000 works of art. About 3,000 were paintings, prints and drawings by John Sloan. About 2,000 are works by herself, members of the Sloan family and other artists.

Helen Sloan donated letters and other archive material associated with John Sloan and his contemporaries. She also convinced art historians and friends of other artists to donate monographs, exhibition catalogues, periodicals and other papers, said museum Executive Director Danielle Rice....

Sloan herself would arrive with paper bags filled with art and art history books that she bought in used-book stores and at auctions....

Helen Sloan managed her estate carefully, Rice said. Its value grew as John Sloan's fame grew.

"She did not consider herself rich," Rice said. "She gave away as much as she could, whenever she could, and she lived very simply. Books and papers, that was her life. That and the artists she knew. She never traveled. She never owned jewelry."

One year, she gave every museum employee a John Sloan etching for Christmas.

An amazing woman! Read the whole thing.

Beauty salon of doom

The hardest thing about moving: leaving my hairdresser, John. He did my color right. My female readers will understand.

So I went for convenience. I called a local shop and asked for an appointment. They don't do appointments, they said. Just drop in. So I did, not once but twice.

My first session was with Rima. Rima put some stuff on my head to help the color develop faster that made me want to tear my scalp off. She washed it out, but my scalp was red for a week.

Six weeks later, Thanksgiving was coming, I was desperate for haircolor, and my eyebrows needed waxing. This time I dealt with Gina. The hair came out okay, but after she was done waxing, she put some stuff on my face to "soothe" my skin. I immediately began to break out in red bumps.

My skin ccame off in flakes for the better part of the week.

But even worse, I had one and a half eyebrows. She had tweezed the outer half of my left eyebrow off. I looked demented, and had to pencil in the lost half brow.

I'm not going back. I'd rather go to John in New Jersey--after all, it's only a three-hour drive.

Is it nice to be nice?

My cousin Sam once told me the theme of his rabbi's most frequent sermon: It's nice to be nice. The Bushes, father and son, seem to have absorbed the lesson. They are unvaryingly kind to their enemies. Then, when they get kicked in the teeth, the act even kinder:

If you didn’t know that our current president only has female children you’d know it now: the man simply cannot withstand incessant, emotion-based nagging about trivial, unimportant shit — and yes, the fact that occasionally a captured terrorist we are questioning may get a couple of extra-hard slaps is trivial shit.... But this sends a great message to our enemies: “Yeah, we’re still softies at heart; we talk the talk, but we don’t really mean it!” I wonder which of our structures they’ll take out next. After all, it’s not like they’re really going to get punished for it. America’s like a dad all right — a dad who wants to be his juvenile delinquent kid’s best buddy, and thinks that a combo of stern talks, flattery, and buying the kid off with presents will do the trick.

...

I’ve said it before, I will say it now: the only reply to repeated accusations that we “torture” the poor little tewwowists should have been an ominous silence. NO, I’m not saying we should have actually tortured anyone, but why the FUCK should any anti-American leftist dickwad have to know one way or the other? We can’t do anything right in the eyes of these people, so why the hell should we even be talking to them? Let them bleat and screech all they want — they will anyway. You watch them start complaining about every single nitpicky thing now that we’ve given them a little inch of what they want. You just watch.

Thanks to dustbury.

Terrorists--looking for your next target?--try Delaware...

the State of Unpreparedness.

Our water went off last night, around 9. I called the water company, of course, three times. Busy signal.

I called the county police, the non-emergency department. Asked if there was a water main broken or something which would account for this. They didn't know. They didn't say, "So far, we haven't heard of one." Just, "How would we know? We're only the police." So much for our First Responders. They made a helpful suggestion: call the water company. Gosh, I wish I'd thought of that!

I called the local newspaper. Way back in the 20th century, newspapers were open 24/7. Apparently this crew only work nine to five.

It reminded me of the early years of the Republic, when they would send a guy with a fast horse to inform the outlying regions who had been elected President. Sometimes they would get the news to the rustics in less than two weeks.

Now, I happen to know that the police have all this communications equipment, radios, etc. They also get money from Homeland Security, which they probably spend financing their annual hayride or barbeque. Or to buy the police dogs bulletproof vests.

If you called the Fort Lee, NJ police, they would know if there was a traffic backup at the George Washington Bridge. I think even the Newark (NJ) police would know whether there was a water main break or some reason citizens could not get water.

I want to tell you, brushing your teeth with seltzer just doesn't do it for me. Neither does cleaning your hands and face with baby wipes.

This morning, the water was restored. I called the water company to find out what had happened. The line was busy.

Dating your mom

From Yahoo news, via drunksex:

Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

The money quote:

[H]is father Paul -- Nicole's husband of 27 years -- wasn't too happy when the story hit the news and his beer-drinking buddies made him the butt of their jokes.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.

Having respect for those we have chosen to govern us

What's next makes a point:

We only have rights because we accept a higher authority to give us the rights and thus protect us while we excersize them. It only stands to reason that if we grant someone else authority to protect us, that we not mock them while doing so. That's called respect.

I have never heard such calumnies uttered about a President as Bush gets. Even Nixon was treated more respectfully. If you can't respect the office, respect the man. Perhaps we should even support him, as Senator Lieberman suggests, because he is going to be president for another three years, and if he loses, we lose.

Have a Ronnie, Jolly Christmas

I used to take so much trouble with Christmas/Chanukah cards. Christmas stamps (not religious), Chanukah ditto, personal notes written to each and every one.

Not any more. I am addressing labels right now. And I'm using Ronald Reagan stamps, which is guaranteed to give them heartburn--all my friends are very, very blue. They're getting Ronnie, and if they don't love me any more, so be it.

Number of handwritten, personal notes on or inside cards: none.

Name that substance

Shut up and eat it!

Baldilocks replies to a letter:

A William and Mary student gets his head handed to him:

Attention: just because the rumor is being passed all over the Internet that “Tookie” might be innocent doesn’t mean that it’s TRUE.

Okay, Little Fishies, let’s play a game. Let’s say that “Tookie” is indeed innocent of the four murders for which he stands to be executed at 12:01 AM PST on Tuesday, December 13, 2005. As the founder of the Crips, one of the most notorious TERRORIST organizations in the world, do you think he murdered anyone other than Albert Owens, Yen-I Yang, Tsai-Shai Yang and Yee-Chen Lin Yang during his reign over the neighborhoods of South Central Los Angeles in the seventies...?

And all you black, white and other “upholders” of the black race ...--if you concede that “Tookie” might have murdered others, do you think that any of those other people were black? As an aside, did any of you grow up in “Tookie’s” South Central Los Angeles of the 1970s like Cobb and I did? Do any of you live there like I do right now?

I’m curious about the answers to these questions for two reasons.

Leaving aside those who oppose the death penalty for moral/religious reasons, few of you have seemed motivated to move into my South Central LA neighborhood to see what “Tookie” and his Crip co-founder Raymond Lee Washington (who’s burning in Hell right now) have wrought for the last thirty-odd years. And I know that you won’t be choosing to live here anytime soon. That’s understandable; however, don’t tell me that we should coddle these TERRORISTS like “Tookie” and those he created if you don’t have to put up with them....
Secondly—and this is especially for people like Jeremy: black people are thinking, functioning humans who, when adult and without some actual mental deficiency that they can’t control, are just as responsible for their actions as are members of any other race of people. We’re not murderers by nature (that is, any more than any other set of humans are). Therefore, we don’t need a separate, lower standard of behavior in any area, whether it’s education, employment or criminal justice.

When black people do well, they deserve recognition; when they do wrong, they deserve the consequences—no more or no less than any other.

Wow! Read the whole thing. Thanks to dustbury.

Palestinian vs. Israeli funerals

Global warming--we can't win for losing

New Jersey and baked ziti--

what's that all about?

I have received a number (okay, one) of inquiries as to why baked ziti is of such vital importance to my web site.

I was originally from New Jersey. Baked ziti is the New Jersey national dish. No-one of any ethnicity whatever is permitted to have a gathering of 12 or more people without serving baked ziti. The police are rather strict in their enforcement of this law.

After we eat our baked ziti (yum), we all go out and have gas pumped for us. (New Jersey state motto: We're too dumb to pump gas.)

But now I'm in Delaware, and I haven't seen a ziti (zito--could that be the singular of ziti?) since I got here.

And I have to pump my own gas.

I support the troops as much as the next person--but I'll be damned if I'll wear this

Sinister plot to eliminate the crazies

2005-12-08) — Democrats in Congress today suggested that yesterday’s Federal Air Marshall shooting of a mentally ill man, who claimed to have a bomb on an airplane, could be part of a larger Bush administration strategy to reduce federal spending on mental health programs....
[A]t a time when mental health agencies are being told to tighten their belts, one can’t help but wonder if that man in Miami died so that the Bush-Cheney cabal and their wealthy cronies can keep their tax cuts.”

Could this be true? They haven't sent anyone to take out Howard Dean yet.

Lousy fortune cookies

The hatemongers quarterly complains about the quality of fortunes in Chinese fortune cookies.

After all, even an execrable Chinese food outfit ... has the typical fortune cookies. They’re the one part of the meal even they can’t screw up....


Don’t believe us, dear reader? Well, then take a gander at this odd fortune found in “Chip’s” latest cookie: “Opportunity always ahead if you look and think.”

Uh, that’s not even a sentence. And it’s not a fortune, either. Frankly, it doesn’t even make that much sense. If you ask us, the people at the fortune cookie factory are coasting. When we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” break open a fortune cookie, we want to see something like “You will murder your second cousin on your father’s side,” or “You won’t be the next Billy Joel.”

You know: Real fortunes. None of this preachy “You should appreciate life/A man with a friend is a happy man” garbage. If we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” wanted hackneyed, ungrammatical bromides about the essential goodness of life, we’d watch Dr. Phil.

I've always felt that fortune cookies lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. I prefer fortune cookies that are more specific: "Sell Enron stock right away," would be a nice one, if you had gotten it early enough. Or how about, "Buy this hot new Internet stock and get in on the ground floor before the suckers find out about it."

That's a fortune cookie I could get behind.

These are kind of nifty

Solving problems

Problem: missing pension check

I called the NJ Department of Personnel and they said they had sent it, all right. I then called the Bank of New York and they said, sorry, they never received it. Called PERS back; they claimed BNY had rejected their electronic fund transfer; The bank said they had no record of it.

Both parties said I had every right to be upset, frustrated, worried, concerned. Both extended their heartiest sympathy. Both wished they could be helpful. But what could they do? It was the other party who was at fault.

Oh, that's all right then.

It's all about the hat

Tinkerty Tonk discusses the significance of hats throughout history:

I was reading this article by Theodore Dalrymple on hats, which led me to this article on the Turco-Egyptian hat incident of 1932, which essentially makes Dalrymple's point: It all starts with the hat.

A scholarly work confirms Dalrymple's observations:

Until the 1960s, the article of clothing that performed the most important role in indicating social distinctions among men was the hat.... Several new types of hats appeared during the nineteenth century and were rapidly adopted at different social levels.... Because hats represented a more modest expense than jackets and coats, they provided an ideal opportunity for "blurring and transforming . . . traditional class boundaries" .... Men's hats were also used to claim and maintain, rather than to confuse, social status, as seen in the fact that specific types of hats became closely identified with particular social strata. Elaborate customs of "hat tipping" as a means of expressing deference to a man's superiors reflected the importance of the hat in marking class boundaries (McCannell 1973)....

In the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, hats were worn by members of all social classes, including the lowest strata. In a photograph taken in Paris around 1900 of a group of ragpickers, twenty out of twenty-three wear hats or caps. In the same period, photographs of workers leaving factories (Borgé and Viasnoff 1993: 113) and of workers' demonstrations in Boston (Robinson 1993: 6) show virtually everyone wearing a hat or a cap.

My mother was certainly an adherent of this viewpoint. She would never leave home without her hat. Even if she was wearing a housecoat (a shapeless article now consigned to the dustbin of history), she would put on her hat and she was good to go, ready to face the world. It was not necessary to comb the hair under the hat, either.

My mother's hats looked like these.

Hitting the nail on the head

My greatest domestic accomplishment is hanging things on walls. I wander the house with my little hammer and picture hangers, looking for new wall space to conquer. I love hanging pictures! plates! posters!

I finally figured out why I enjoy this mundane task so much. When you don't hit the nail right, you get a funny sound. But when you hit the nail on the head, you get a satisfying thwack. It sounds just exactly right.

Last survivor of the Christmas truce dies

A very moving tribute to the last survivor of the Christmas truce of World War I:
Gates of Vienna: The Christmas Truce Leaves Living Memory

A Scotsman named Alfred Anderson was the last person alive who could remember the Christmas Truce of 1914. With his death on Sunday at the age of 109, that definitive moment of the Great War leaves memory and enters history.

Sgt. Alfred Anderson
According to the Scotsman, Alfred Anderson was the last of the “Old Contemptibles” - the British expeditionary force which went to war in 1914 - and the last surviving witness of the historic Christmas truce when opposing troops declared a brief and unofficial ceasefire to play football and share drinks and cigarettes in the hell of no man’s land. Mr Anderson served with the 5th Battalion the Black Watch until he was wounded by shrapnel in 1916.
The Great War divides our time from the age that came before. The four years of slaughter on the Western Front tore down the European structures that had existed since the Enlightenment, replacing them with what we call Post-Modern Times.

Men like Sgt. Anderson bridged the chasm between those two worlds. It’s staggering to think that until two days ago there still lived someone who had stood in the stinking mud in Flanders in 1914. He was a relic of what was truly a different age.
Neil Griffiths, a spokesman for the Royal British Legion of Scotland, said: “He was our last surviving link with a time that shimmers on the edge of our folk memory. There was something old worldly about him — he was honourable, dignified and had a tremendously droll sense of humour. He always stood erect and was always immaculately turned out. We will not see his likes again.”

Islamists honor Rosa Parks, but not much

The Religion of Peace gets some good publicity:

[CAIR] donated two "Rosa Parks Civil Liberties Scholarships" to college students last Saturday for the obvious purpose of trying to associate itself with the legacy of the former civil rights icon. The total price tag was a mere $1500, which is a superb example of cost-efficient public relations spending by an organization awash in Wahabbi funding. Split down the middle, the grant might cover about two semester's worth of cable television....
Before CAIR gets too hung up on the idea that it is "keeping it real" it might do well to remember that on their website (right below the self-indulgent article on the scholarships) is a link that allows visitors to order religious materials that refer to black people as "Raisin-heads," "collectables," and "men of no descent" with hearts "grosser than a donkey." The Qur'an that CAIR promises to send out, along with the Hadiths, also talks of leaving an African to die if injured and provides a "how-to" manual on slavery that's been serving the Muslim world for 1400 years.

Beyond an unflattering description of black people, the Islamic religion proscribes third-class treatment for dhimmis - non-Muslims under Muslim rule. Dhimmitude is Jim Crow on steroids, complete with diminished legal status for minorities, segregation, constant intimidation… and a much higher stack of dead bodies. Islamists kill more "unbelievers" every ten months, in fact, than the entire number of black Americans lynched in the last 120 years combined.

I have been demoted

to a slithering reptile, and I resent it. I never slither, I never have slithered, and I never shall slither. It is an activity not suited to a woman of, as Alexander McCall Smith calls it, traditional build (i.e., fat).

Miserable Christmases of literature

There are some remarkably unhappy Christmases in literature. My favorite (?) fictional awful Christmas is the one in Great Expectations. Pip has stolen a pie to give to the escaped prisoner, and is dreading the moment when his horrible sister will discover the theft. Meanwhile, the assorted guests keep teasing him in a nasty way. Dickens was, of course, a genius, and the sense of impending doom Pip feels is brilliantly conveyed. Not, however, one of his joyful Christmas scenes.

Frank O'Connor's memoir, An Only Child, has another depressing Christmas. It is Christmas Eve, and his mother is waiting for his father to come home with his wages so she can buy something for the boy. He grudgingly gives her a small sum. The poor kid wakes up and finds tht Santa has brought him a cheap trifle.

Can anyone think of another miserable Christmas in literature?

Library loonies

Our local public library was a haven for the radio-receiver-in their fillings community. Sometimes singly, sometimes in groups, they drifted in, sometimes listening quietly to the voices in their heads, sometimes arguing back. Sometimes they got cleaned up--the Salvation Army made them shower if they wanted to stay overnight. They got their clothes from various charities, which would explain the Million Mom March t-shirt on one of the fellows, who I dooubt was a participant in said march.

Then there were the complainers: the glass-half-full community. Notable among this crew were Marty and Martha Martin. The two were a match made in heaven; they had everything in common, including the sour pusses they habitually wore. They helpfully pointed out the deficiencies of our small-town library. Typical conversation:

Marty: You never have the right books.
Me: What books would you like?
Marty: I don't know, but there aren't them.

Another annoying patron was Jim. Jim had wanted to be a priest but hadn't made the cut, and was still miffed. Jim wanted to return videos to the bookdrop, which was against the rules. He actually took a survey of video stores in the surrounding community and reported back to me that they allowed people to return books in their bookdrops. He came to a board meeting and made his point forcefully.

Mr McArdle was a smiling, genial man who once cornered me to explain that the US had never dropped a bomb on Hiroshima. He also bought up all our used books. Since he lived in a small apartment, he had to rent a storage facility in Secaucus to hold the overflow.

Another fellow was doing research and hoped to prove definitively the existence of God. He has not published his findings yet, but I'm happy to say is still at work on the project.

Our local library is a handsome modern building but seems to have some vital element missing. Perhaps it is the problem patrons?

It was a beautiful day on the beach at Puerto Rico...

blue skies, sunshine, gentle lapping of the waves, the works.

And standing in the surf, her back to the ocean, was a young girl in a bathing suit, talking on her cell phone.

Murderer groupies

Pillage idiot cuts to the chase:

... [N]ow that Wesley Baker has been executed, we won't have to write about it any more. Maybe, but I think I need one more post.

The execution brought out people who seem to have been transformed from mere opponents of capital punishment into murderer groupies. Here's an account from the AP:

"Wesley is my friend," said Bonnita Spikes of Beltsville, who held a poster with Baker's picture on it. "I've seen him every day for the past couple of months. I got to know him."

She said she last saw him about 5 p.m. Monday.

"He was upbeat, calm, his spirit is good," she said. Baker also told her that recent visits from Cardinal William Keeler of Baltimore and state Delegate Salima Marriott, D-Baltimore, were "monumental moments" for him.

"It's hard knowing one of my friends is going to die tonight," said Spikes. "He was a victim of the system. Killing him is not the answer. This vicious cycle of killing will never end."

It will end for Baker, though. He won't be killing any more grandmothers.

Mapes mopes

Adopt a liberal for Christmas

I usually give a check to the Salvation Army, but here's a novel way to commemorate the season by pouring a little sunshine over the poor in spirit:

Once again the Christmas season is upon us. This is the time of the year that many of us look forward to above all others. A time for giving and singing and celebrating. A time to be spent with close friends and family. However, this can be a very difficult time of the year for those who are less fortunate than ourselves.

That is why I started the Adopt-A-Liberal Foundation. For about the same amount of money you would spend a month on ammunition or to buy Ann Coulter's latest book, you can make a huge difference in the life of a liberal.

Read the whole thing. Or else.

I wonder why this movie never got made

An actual query letter:

Logline: What do you get when a midget-wizard from earth mates with the universe's most heralded intergalactic knight? You get a less than immaculate heir to the title of world savior.

Notes from around the world

Got drugs? Suicide bombers get real chemistry.

How to say "blind date" in Hebrew.

Canadian blogger writes about civility in Canadian elections.

Musical lunches for the deskbound.

Where's my old friend, Matt Peek?

So I click on his former web site, lone tree on the prairie and get--Maks?

Who, judging by the internal evidence, is a jerk.

What the hell is going on? Where are you, Matt? Speak to me!

This is the Matt I know. Handsome devil, isn't he?

How accurate is Wikipedia?

John Siegenthaler has a real beef with Wikipedia:

This is a highly personal story about Internet character assassination. It could be your story.

I have no idea whose sick mind conceived the false, malicious "biography" that appeared under my name for 132 days on Wikipedia, the popular, online, free encyclopedia whose authors are unknown and virtually untraceable. There was more:

"John Seigenthaler moved to the Soviet Union in 1971, and returned to the United States in 1984," Wikipedia said. "He started one of the country's largest public relations firms shortly thereafter."

I looked up one article which I know something about: the biography of Bessie Coleman. I found it illiterate, full of mistatements, so I rewrote it. I have no idea whether my changes have survived. My concern is that some student will mistakenlyh use this biography as a source, thus passing on errors and ommissions.

You can understand why librarians do not hold Wikipedia in high esteem and would prefer more authoratitive sources.

A question on everyone's minds

Does Maureen Dowd really exist?

Developments in Delaware

I live in something called the Brandywine Hundred. A hundred of what is shrouded in history, but you know where you are: everything is Brandywine, Brandywoods, Brandon. Brandywine Plaza, Brandywine Mall, etc. Another popular theme is Concord, as in Concord Mall, Concord Plaza and for all I know, Concord Tattoo Parlor, or Concord House of Ill Repute.

When they ran out of Brandies and Concords, the developers had to think of new names. So they called a place Smith Farms, after the farm that was obliterated on the site, or Smith Woods, if they had to cut down the woods to build the place. Sounds very woodsy or farmy, doesn't it? How about Smith Crest, which is at the bottom of a gentle slope? I thought a crest was on the top of a hill, but what did I know?

Eveerything has a hifaluting Norman or Celtic name: there are no Kosinsky Woods, no Cohen Woods, no Giuliani Farms. No Gupta or Sze. There's no Smith either; I made that one up. But you get the idea. Building developments is an Anglo-Saxon monopoly.

TAN meticulously rewrites an e-mail message

TAN likes to polish his lapidary prose. (Not suitable for the office.)

I'm back from New Jersey, God's country

Driving back from Nj is incredibly boring. From Exit 8 of the Turnpike to the end there is nothing but monotonous, humdrum landscape. I'm not talking oil refineries here. They are comparatively interesting. No, no, this is scenery designed to calm the mind of the most crazed motorist and lull him to sleep. Not that it works, they are still crazy.

Flat landscape. Trees. When Joyce Kilmer (from NJ, mind you) said he had never seen a poem as lovely as a tree, he was blowing smoke. I have seen Burmas-Shave signs way better looking then these trees. These trees have no distinguishing characteristics. They don't have cones, or flowers, or apples, or colorful leaves. They just stand there, looking average. Behind the trees you can occasionally see a really boring field, or a nondescript farmhouse or barn. Graffiti are more interesting than this landscape.

And it goes on for hours. Just you, the crazy drivers, and the trees.

Maine deserves a prize, too

Last night, I watched the Biggest Loser finale with my wife and, despite never having seen the show before, I came to a few conclusions:

1.) A guy won $100,000 for bringing his weight down from the 400+ pound range to 216 pounds. With that in mind, I feel as though NBC owes me $638 for quitting drinking, and my wife would like two or three grand for giving up the smokes. I mean, if you’re giving people cash for doing shit they really needed to do in the first place, then I’d like a few bucks for reading to my kid last night, thanks.

I'm back from Puerto Rico

Beautiful weather! San Juan is like Fort Lauderdale, only hillier.

I went to a big shopping mall. It wa just like any mall in New jersey--crowded with people who didn't speak English. But these people had an excuse. They were Puerto Ricans. I Puerto Rico.

The service in the hotel was not perfect--they forgot milk for your coffee, ketchup...or whatever. But they were willing and friendly. They were especially nice to my four-year-old grandson and to children and babies generally. Kind, really. That makes up for a lot. I can always get my own milk.

Another thing: judging by the visual evidence, it is not a sin in Puerto Rico for a woman not to be a living skeleton. Even fat people wore sexy clothing and were smiling and seemed to be having a good time. Most of the women had busts and bottoms, and some of them were gorgeous.

Notes from all over

Lileks fisks Kurt Vonnegut.

As usual, old guys are going 30 mph in the left lane.

Males and farts, perfect together.

Mother Sheehan returns to the obscurity she so richly deserves.

Shakespeare, Jesus, or Annie Oakley

I like the Deluxe librarian best.

Revenge of the robots

According to shamus, robots are going to replace the dolts in the retail business by 2016:

There are a few jobs I will be extremely elated to see an efficient, well-mannered robot preforming:

Bagel Guy at Price Chopper - ... after over 2 years of going in there he still has no clue what I will be ordering. Do I expect him to know my name or pop an Everything bagel into the toaster the moment he sees me? No. But just a glimmer of recognition.... It's sad to think the Bakery Robot is going to showup a human in the whole customer service angle, but it will.

The Home Depot Crew - I don't mean to single out HD, because Lowes is equally bad at customer service. There are 5 employees in the whole 20 acre store, and only 1 of the five knows what a hammer is. I go to the store only because I work right across the street, but in the end, I have to take the Saturday morning trip to the local hardware store to find someone who knows anything aboutn what they are selling. So staffing these places with robots will be a huge improvement. The robots are much less prone to pilfering of the merchandise and goofing off as well, unlike the sales kids in Lowes who are whacking each other with collapsable rakes while I'm trying to find someone to help me find a wax toilet seal. Anybody?

The DMV ....I suppose dealing with this clientele takes it's toll on even the nicest person, but attitude you get from the workers at the DMV is way off the bitterness scale. In the future, a robot will greet people entering the DMV and immediately turn away people who are carrying livestock, screaming babies or anyone in need of soapy bath. From there, the process will be a walk in the park, as the robots assist in the completion of the bizarre and
confusing forms, so that even the illiterate folks can get their vanity license plates in 10 minutes or less.

I can't wait to get my drivers license renewed in 2016.

Can't save a bunch of money on car insurance in France

Croatians honor Serb!

Txt msg mks blgr mad

password meshugas

I have too many f***ing passwords. And usernames. When I entered Password Hell, I made up my mind I would only have one password and one username. This has proved impossible, because all passwords are not created equal. Some demand upper and lower case letters, some want figures, some want letters and figures. Some insist on more than 6 characters.

The first dozen or so were easy. My e-mail name and my bank PIN. I could remember those, and various combinations thereof. Then comes the New York Times. I forgot my username and password but had endless trouble retrieving them. So I signed up anew. I thought Miriam would be a catchy username, but somebody already had it. I was offered miriam27, which totally f***ed up my system.

This thing has gone too far. In order to see whether Staples has cartridges for my printer, I have to sign in. Is this because I need to keep my information classified, in case Hamas finds out I have ordered cartridges? Has Staples joined forces with Homeland Security? None of the above. It's so Staples can send you e-mail messages. They can keep track of what you buy. This helps their business. But I don't give a damn about their business.
And I thought voicemail was a pain in the neck.

Stepping in it

Carnival of Comedy #29

is up at radioactiveliberty.

Evil right-wing force to take over world

Wyatt Earp wants to take over the world:

Support Your Local Gunfighter is just Phase One of my master plan to rule the world. My unsuspecting minions have fallen under the spell of this blog's subliminal advertising (Submit!), and my job as a police officer is the perfect breeding ground for a future dictator. Once I topple the existing government in a bloody coup, there will be a few changes around here. For instance:
Political correctness will be outlawed, and offenders who violate this new policy will be brutally beaten by "offensive" Native American college mascots.

Ebonics will be summarily dismissed from the culture, and will be replaced with "McBonics" – an Irish slang where the last word of every sentence will have a "Mc" in front of it. For example, this blog will be known as Support Your Local McGunfighter.

Oh, dear! But the worst is yet to come:

Finally, the following people will be deported to forced labor camps: Chris Berman, Stuart Scott, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Philly mayor John Street, PA governor Ed Rendell, Matthew Lesko, rappers, and every girl who rejected my advances in high school (it's a big list).

Is that all? I can propose a few more; in fact, I have a little list, they'll none of them be missed:

Ted Kennedy
Joe Biden
Harry Reid
Richard Durbin
Nancy Pelosi
All New Jersey politicians;
All former New Jersey politicians.

I have more, but that will get us started. How about you? Any suggestions?

Doctor's offices, the joys of

I once had to wait in a doctor's office for 45 minutes. The television was on, and Oprah's program was playing. The only other amusement was a knitting magazine.

I read the knitting magazine. Twice. And I don't even knit.

Why don't the children of politicians have real jobs?

Senator Biden's son, Beau Biden, is running for Statewide office in Delaware. Bob Taft, a member of an illustrious Ohio family, is the first Ohio governor ever indicted (or perhaps ever caught). Then there's Patrick Kennedy, son of Ted, and never considered the sharpest knife in the drawer, his loathsome cousin Robert Jr, and Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, whose political career was terminated by the voters. Jeb Bush and the Georges, 41 and 43. The Governors Brown, pere et fils, of California. And countless others.

I dread the day when we have to decide between Chelsea Clinton or Jenna (or Barbara) Bush for President.

Why can't any of these people go manage Halliburton?

Fascinated by ancient Rome? Click here

Nya nya nya--the Internet is ours

Ripclawe says the Internet stays where it belongs:

America stays in charge of the Internet.

Anyone who has a problem with that, go make your own.

Read the whole thing.

Bush tells it like it is

Why women are better

It's officially okay to bash Christians and Jews

[W]hen did the left abandon it's traditional position on organised religion? .... it was in 1988. What happened in that year was the publication of a book called the Satanic Verses by a British subject who goes by the name of Salman Rushdie. On the publication of this book, a foreign government called upon British subjects who were of the same confessional division as this autocratic revolutionary regime to murder this writer, should they have the opportunity. In Britain, public gatherings were held where people burned a copy of this book they had never read and reiterated the call for the author to have his life terminated.

I remember being absolutely amazed by what I then saw and heard from some of the valiant defenders of free-speech in Britain's liberal media: Mr. Rushdie had brought much of this on himself, they said - he should have been more sensitive to the feeling for the sacred amongst those who now wish to murder him. That he, and not they, had been brought up with the religious traditions that they affected so much solicitude for didn't appear to have occurred to them.

That this represented an abrupt break from the previous attitude, I have absolutely no doubt whatsoever. The reason for my confidence is this: earlier in the year, a film had been released - Martin Scorsese's Last Temptation of Christ. Christians did not call for Mr. Scorsese's murder but they did want the film to be banned because of it's controversial idea that Jesus was tormented by fantasies of a sexual relationship with Mary Magdalene - played by the gloriously sensual Barbara Hershey.

In various bastions of cultural sensitivity like the Guardian and the BBC, articles were written and debates held. Oh, how those right-on liberals sneered - and how pleased with themselves they felt, these heroes of the Enlightenment. Imagine wanting to ban a film that they'd never seen, they said - how this obscurantism so pained and amused them simultaneously. This was before they had learned to be oh so terribly sensitive and understanding to the religious disposition so it never occurred to them that the juxtaposition of Hollywood eroticism with what millions of people consider to be sacred might be reasonably considered offensive.

....
So things have changed quite a lot in my lifetime. Pre-Satanic Verses, the biggest form of religious oppression your average right-on liberal could imagine was a religious person actually having the audacity to say what they believed to be true. This became the case at some mid-point in the 1980s - I don't quite remember when - but I distinctly remember 'imposing your values on someone else' becoming on a par with child-abuse in its heinousness. Yet if expressing one's views on abortion, for example, constituted the imposition of values on unwilling parties, the right-on liberals were doing fair bit of this themselves. Take the issue of women priests, for example. Lots of pontificating, and I use the word advisedly, was heard on this subject. Whether the Anglican or the Roman Catholic church, right-on liberals were all agreed: of course they should allow women priests. After all, shouldn't the clergy be more representative of the 'people' in all it's diversity? In fact, the Sex Discrimination Act should be slapped on the churches in order to drag them into the modern age.
...

[T]his new heart-warming solicitude with the religious feelings of minorities isn't exactly evenly distributed. If there's somewhere in the world where there are Americans killing Muslims, Jews killing Muslims, Muslims killing Americans and Jews, even Muslims killing Muslims - you'll get various forms of outrage, column inches and maybe a few marches demanding more time and an end to the outrage that is Starbucks or something like that.

But if you're indigenous Christians being persecuted and murdered in Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan? I'm afraid it seems no one gives a damn: not our present Archbishop of Canterbury, who seems more concerned with how the overthrow of a blood-soaked tyrant will play with an ecumenical audience; not much of the prowar left, who abroad ignore you for the most part and at home find you handy whenever they feel stung by accusations of 'Islamophobia'; and certainly not the newly religiously-sensitive hard left. With the last, their subtle and nuanced understanding of religion doesn't apply to you. Y'see, it's all about power. You may be personally impoverished and persecuted but it's not about that for the heroic class-warriors; it's what you symbolise.

Long Island politician's desire for sex is "insatiable"

I love the New York Post, I really do. Where else can you find news like this?

November 14, 2005 -- The Long Island harbormaster at the center of a scintillating sex scandal is speaking for the first time since a court found he was sexually harassed by his former boss — calling the woman "insatiable."

During their 18-month affair, Huntington ex-Councilwoman Susan Scarpati-Reilly lusted for kinky sex in public places and "was a sexual-predator politician," said former Huntington harbormaster Bill Perks, breaking his silence in an exclusive interview with The Post.

"She had an appetite that could not be believed. She had an insatiable desire for sex."....
Over 18 months, Perks said they had consensual sex more than 200 times — in Town Hall, on his houseboat, "in the weeds" at a nude beach on Fire Island, in cars and in motels....

In their first after-hours erotic encounter, Perks said he was "extremely nervous" when Scarpati-Reilly led him to a Town of Huntington attorney's office, closed the door and told him: "I need to be hugged."

"The next thing you know," Perks said, "the groping began and the clothes were coming off." He said they had sex "on the floor and on the desk. Having sex in Town Hall is more complicated than it sounds."

I sympathize. Hard on the back and the knees.

In other news, under Weird but True:

Angelina Dryburgh went to a doctor to find out why every diet she tried failed to take off some of her 252 pounds....
Turns out Angelina, 39, had a 20-inch-wide, 28-pound cyst in her tummy....

A chat with Dish network

I called to cancel my service with Dish Network in August, ending September 30. Through neglect and stupidity, I paid the October charges billed to my credit card. But when they billed for November, I called them.

After the usual voicemail boilerplate, I got hold of a humanoid.

Me: I called in August to terminate my Dish service.
H: We have a record that you called concerning your bill.
Me: No, I called to terminate.
H: You may think you called to terminate, but our records show that you didn't.
Me: Maybe I should have recorded the call for quality control purposes, but I did call to terminate.
H: But our records--
Me: I moved! I MOVED FROM NEW JERSEY! Why would I want Dish service in New Jersey when I moved out of the State?
H: Well, but our records--
Me: Terminate it now!
H: (a little huffy) We are terminating the service as of today.
Me: Good!
H: Would you be like to have the service transferred to your new address?
Me: Do I sound like I want that?

A compliment?

I was in the Korean nail salon, getting my eyebrows waxed, when one Korean lady said something to the other. The firsr Korean lady then explained, "She says you must have been pretty when you were young."

I'm not often speechless.

French auto burnings back to normal

So, last night the number of cars burned in France was down to about 208, plus a couple of schools ... although the rioters, in a flash of ingenuity, rammed a car into a school, then set it on fire. Perhaps they were running a little low on petrol.

And, Parisian officials are breathing a sigh of relief, since conditions seem to be returning to normal --- normal being only 100 cars torched on any given night when there's not riots going on...

Let's look at the bright side. Car sales must be up, n'est ce pas? What a boost for the economy!

Food for thought

An interesting meal.

Another, courtesy of the New York Times.

Well done.

Blood lab hell

We had to get new doctors since moving to Delaware, where there is apparently a trend: doctors don't take your blood and send it out to the lab, they send your blood to the lab while it's still inside your veins. You go to the lab.

You don't get an appointment to go to the lab. You go and take your chances. This way, you get a real good dose of the place. That'll teach you to use our medical system!

The blood laboratories in Delaware combine the ambiance of a bureacratic office in a Soviet satellite with the charm of a Greyhound bus station. Dingy low rent rooms filled with old ladies in wheelchairs, screaming infants, and ambulant children running around. One or two people coughing or sneezing heartily, not covering their mouths or noses, so that if you were not sick when you got here, there's a good chance you'll catch something after you go home. All that is lacking to complete the picture is a live chicken or perhaps a small pig or two.

You sit there reading back issues of the Quarter Horse Monthly or Twenty-first Century Plumbing and heating. A huge television hangs over your head, blasting Jerry Springer or somebody at ear-splitting volume.

Eventually, your turn comes. You are then informed that you should have fasted for 24 hours before taking the blood. Go home and come back tomorrow....

Rinse and repeat.

This post is also available at Blogger News Network.

Solving the problems of unruly youth

In his review of the new book by the admirable - if unfortunately-named - Ms Lynne Truss, (Talk to the Hand: the utter bloody rudeness of everyday life) the Labour MP for Birkenhead, Mr Frank Field, makes an interesting observation. Writing in the New Statesman, the former Minister for Thinking The Unthinkable states that crime levels in Edwardian Britain were so low, and yobbish behaviour so exceptional, that the penal system was able to cope with matters which go unpunished today.
"A quarter of those serving time before the First World War were inside for such misdemeanours as riding a bicycle without lights, playing games in the street, gambling or making lewd comments. If Edwardian criteria for imprisonment were applied in today's Britain, there would be no young people on out streets."
The scheme may have had its disadvantages but, for the moment, I find myself unable to locate them.

Some legal questions answered by an expert

Backlash

Germany's anti-immigrant NPD, which last year made headlines by winning seats in an eastern state assembly, said the riots showed attempts to found a multicultural Europe had failed.

"The NPD wishes foreigners a good trip home," it said on its website, reiterating its calls for forced repatriations.

From a long article in the New Zealand Herald, quoted by ripclawe.

Democrats lack intelligence

According to politicaledge,:

Political satirist Scott Ott struck gold earlier with his parody of Democratic leaders and their lack of pre-war intelligence...

(2005-11-11) — Democrats in Congress today rejected President George Bush’s accusation that they’re trying to rewrite history, which shows they supported the Iraq war based on the same intelligence that drove his decision to send in the troops.

“We had no pre-war intelligence,” said Sen. John Kerry, “History will show that none of the leading Democrats had substantial intelligence. Anyone who remembers what we did then knows that the president is making a baseless allegation. I think history will bear out my contention that we Democrats lacked the intelligence to make such an important decision.”

The junior Senator from Massachussetts said he continues “to faithfully support the troops who uselessly die for a lie in Iraq.”

“Our troops deserve to know that their elected leaders who voted to send them to war will remain firm in our conviction that we didn’t know what we were doing at the time,” Sen. Kerry said. “It’s important, on Veteran’s Day, to remember that our Democrat commitment to our military hasn’t changed.”

White House spokesman Scott McClellan repeated his categorical denial that the Bush administration “ever manipulated anyone’s intelligence or ignorance.”

Visit Scrappleface for more great satire.

Good news from France

I was listening to Fox news last night and someone reported that the rioting was letting up; only 400 cars were burned last night, as opposed to former scores of, oh, I don't know, 1,600. Wow! That's progess. Those Renaults were lousy cars anyway. Maybe this was a protest aimed at the automotive industry by greens who favored public transportation. Wait, they burned buses too. And day care centers.
The popular 21st century sport is to make victims of bullies and oppressors out of the cops and firemen who have to deal with the mess. The government attempts to appease these thugs instead of shooting them or locking them up. Affirmative action and huge public projects are in the works. We feel their pain.
My fear is that they will take it out on Paris. Mind you, I wouldn't care if they set fire to Jacques Chirac and Dominique de Villepin. What I worry about is beautiful, historic Paris. It is the heritage of all of us in the West, not just the knuckleheaded French.
Wouldn't it be funny if Hitler got his wish and Paris burned to the ground?

Christiane Amanpour doesn't get it, and other matters

The always amusing Johnny Virgil finds Christiane Amanpour annoying:

Am I the only one who thinks that Christina Amanpour should NOT be "Making a Difference?" What the hell is that about? You know what, CNN? Just REPORT THE FUCKING NEWS, OK?

I just want the story. I don't want to know anything about what part you played in it, or what your opinion on it is. Worst. Tagline. Ever.

Read the whole thing. There's some stuff about a park bench, and an airline steward. And other stuff.

Multi-tasking in the 21st century

Apparently the Detroit dead got the message

The dead rose up in glorious numbers to give Kwame Kilpatrick a victory.

Some observations about Internet providers

Namely, that they are the scum of the earth.

They don't have to be nice to you, because they have no competition.

First we had cable. It took four visits to get the cable business straightened out. Then only one computer worked on our humble two-person network.

So I switched to DSL. Verizon, our local monopoly, provides a Yahoo interface which is annoying even when it works. Nasty little icoms smiling and winking at you. One of the computers did not work, but it was the other one. Verizon has voice mail down to a science--their voice mail, that is. It took me one hour and forty-five minutes to talk to a humanoid, who gave me the (unlisted) number for Internet problems.

By the time Verizon had tried to solve the problem, neither computer could access the Internet at all. They recommended that I call Linksys. The first Linksys customer service rep, a chap with a strong Indian accent and a condescending manner, walked me through a dozen steps and then broke the connection. The next rep, a woman who seemed obviously over her head, said it was our modem and severed the connection. I went to bed.

These two companies have a monopoly around here, and they act like it. Today I got my computer up again, but it is as slow as mud.

Grrr! May the luck of the cell phone companies afflict them!

Sharing French wisdom about Islam

.

The last few days or so have certainly demonstrated that the French have a superior understanding of Islamic civilization. If only we had listened to them, the Muslim world would not be so antagonistic to America.

These wise remarks courtesy of hatemonger's quarterly.

Denzel Washington gets it

air force wife appreciates Shakespeare, and a movie star with some brains for a change:

Right before the release of Manchurian Candidate, I saw an interview with the movie's stars - Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep, and the director. Inevitably, Katie Couric opened the door for talk about Politics, Jesus, and tangentially the War and Meryl Streep immediately jumped in with the same sorts of tirades we have heard time and time again.

When Denzel Washington spoke, he said this, "What I want to talk about is, what are we doing right now, today, for these young kids that are coming home? Are we embracing them? I don't hear about them being lifted up. I mean, I'm not just talking about a parade but—...Are they getting the support and love they need from us? And maybe that story's being told, but I sure haven't seen it that much in the news. Yeah, they're pointing fingers about who was right and whose wrong and who started what and where the weapons of mass destruction. But these kids are coming home. You know, I have a son, 19, 19-year-olds are coming home completely different."

There is comfort in seeing that there are those outside the band who do understand, outside of the protestations of support for one thing and not another.

I have always loved Denzel, ever since I saw him interviewed on tv. He calls his mother every day! What a guy! And handsome, too.

The difference between it's and its gives me fits

A recovering bad grammarian expounds:

Neo-neocon posted about the use of "it's" and "its." Long ago I mastered the use of the apostrophe with regard to possession, contraction, and omission. I will admit that it's about the only aspect of our language I've mastered, though.

Read the whole thing, to coin a phrase.

One down, 100,000 to go

Pertinent comments: by Paco:
Another terrorist bomber decides to expand his horizons. Excellent! Another question for the statisticians, based on a comment thread from yesterday: is one more likely to be killed by (a) a meteorite, (b)a terrorist, or (c) falling pieces of terrorists who blow themselves up?

By stats:

My, a villa. These terrorists sure live well. Where do they get their money,hmmm, traffiking in suicide bombers, buying low and selling high? To answer the stat question raised by paco, the greatest chance is be be killed by (d) falling pieces of terrorist villas.


From Tim Blair: This week just keeps getting better, don’t it?

Mary Mapes is still investigating

Mary Mapes is not responsible for fact-checking, says ripclawe:

Some interesting quotes from Mary Mapes.

Mapes says she is continuing to investigate the source of the controversial documents whose authenticity was seriously questioned by the CBS panel. She tells Ross that she had no journalistic obligation to prove the authenticity of the documents before including them in the "60 Minutes II" report. "I don't think that's the standard," she said.
....

Yet, in a statement, CBS News maintained that Mapes' actions damaged it as an organization. "Her disregard for journalistic standards — and for her colleagues — comes through loud and clear in her interviews and in the book that attempts to rewrite the history of this complex and sad affair," the statement said. It also pinpointed Mapes' notion that a news organization has no obligation "to authenticate such important source material" as only one of the "troubling and erroneous statements in her account."

This is where CBS is hoping no one goes back and research other Mary Mapes's stories if she thinks that authenticating source materials is not important and her job.

Mapes can join O J Simpson in his lonely quest for the truth.

Cardigan fashion notes

Libetiquette casts aspersions on the fashion sense of librarians:
Fall is in the air. Time to break out those cardigans!


Our library was frigid in the Summer--one of the clerks brought in an electric heater; another used to hold her hands under the hot water until feeling returned to them.

In the Winter I opened my window.

The Ac had only two settings: on or off. Same with the heat.

Miraculous resurrection of the dead in Detroit

Math is different in Louisiana

A columnist for a Shreveport, LA newspaper, Emily Metzgar, tries to make sense of math as practiced in Louisiana:

Today’s Advocate has an article including comments from lawmakers and appointees about the need to cut spending and the struggles that lie ahead as those cuts are made. A few lines toward the end caught my attention:

Renee Free, first assistant to Secretary of State Al Ater, said she's been told the statewide election proposed in current legislation.... "If we have to do an election, you will have to appropriate $3.4 million," Free told the committee, explaining that the department doesn't have the money to pay for an election.”

Think way, way back to July 2005 when the governor vetoed a bill that would have eliminated one of the state’s several scheduled elections. I wrote a column and posted comments on this blog condemning the veto. My column in the Shreveport Times that week began,

In her inaugural address, Governor Blanco spoke of her intention to provide “a new kind of government in Louisiana -- one that is open, progressive and accountable to its people.” So when the state legislature passed a bill eliminating the state’s third-Saturday-in-January election date, expectations were high that the principle of good government might prevail this time around. HB 415 would, after all, have made the state more “open, progressive and accountable to its people” by eliminating what can only be considered a superfluous election date and by actually saving the state at least $500,000.

Not surprisingly that column was met with criticism by groups arguing that eliminating an election wouldn’t save the state any money at all.

....

So now, in November, I’m confused. To justify the veto of HB 415 in July, political interests (and the governor) argued that canceling one of the state’s many statewide elections would save the state no money. The $500,000 savings mentioned by the bill were ridiculed as inaccurate. But today, a representative of the Secretary of State’s office says in the Advocate that holding a scheduled election will cost the state $3.4 million.

Only in Louisiana could canceling an election not possibly save the state $500,000 while at the same time holding an election will cost the state $3.4. Assuming, as this suggests, that the rules of mathematics are suspended once you cross the border into Louisiana, the state should have no trouble paying FEMA its $3 billion and overcoming the anticipated hurricane-related state revenue loss of $ 1 billion.

And for the record, I fear this means the state bond commission opted to spend $45 million for goat shows, lawn mower races and other "critical projects" instead of on what could have been 13.235 elections (Do the math: $45 m/$3.4m).

Think George W Bush is bad?--Oy vey ! Moses was a disaster!!

An archeological find by adam's blog:

The following scroll was found in the Sinai desert and claims to be an op-ed written by Dathan, a Hebrew opponent of Moses. What follows is “Dathan’s” opinion of the leadership of Moses.

Where does one begin in describing the failures of Moses? He led us out of the land of Egypt in an ill-prepared and ill-thought out exodus. We’ve already been faced with shortages in the necessities of life as we journey towards the “land flowing with milk and honey”.

From the beginning, Moses’ plan for the liberation of our people was ill-planned. He lacked a comprehensive exit strategy for leaving Egypt with enough food and water to sustain us through our journeys. At least in the land of Egypt, we had leeks and onions, rather than this unmitigated disaster in the desert.

First, he came to the Pharaoh in the name of the God of Abraham demanding that he let us go to hold a feast to God in the wilderness. The problem with Moses is that he can’t open his mouth without bringing up God....

Moses could have chosen to seek help from the International community, by going to the King of Edom or his Midianite in-laws, but instead Moses began to send plagues on the Egyptians. Now, many have claimed that I’ve taken an inconsistent position on the plagues, but I have not. I’ve had one clear position. These were the wrong plagues in the wrong places at the wrong time, and the result was only to harden Pharaoh’s heart.
...
We must seek allies among the nations around us....

The Hebrews need new leadership that understands we can’t go it alone in search of dreams of freedom, we must work the International Community to secure our prosperity and reputation.

Read the whole thing.

From the Best of Me #106.

Is it good or bad for...abortion rights!

Pillage idiot looks back fondly on the days when the first question on everyone's lips--Jewish lips, I mean, was, Is it good or bad for the Jews?

Well, we can all exhale now that we're starting to hear what the Jews think about Alito. ... Is it good or bad for the Jews?

Actually, that used to be the issue for Jews. Now, for some Jews at least, the question is: Is it good or bad for abortion rights? I kid you not.
.... The orthodox are not taking a position on the nomination, though a spokesman said that Alito is "clearly someone who is sensitive to religious minorities." And an orthodox former Alito clerk speaks highly of the judge:

Title VII, the applicable civil rights law, "does not permit an employer to manipulate job requirements for the purpose of putting an employee to the 'cruel choice' between religion and employment," Alito wrote.

Such insights are typical of Alito, his former law clerk, Jeffrey Wasserstein, told JTA.

"He is a Catholic, but his sensitivity to nonmajority religions was quite interesting to watch, not what one would expect from someone being tarred by the press as extraordinarily conservative," said Wasserstein, an observant Jew who served with Alito from 1997-98 and now is a health care attorney....

Reform Jews probably will take a position, and you know what that will be:

...[H]e was on the opposite side of much of the Jewish community," said Mark Pelavin, associate director of the Reform movement's Religious Action Center.

* * * * *
Pelavin suggested the Reform movement also would have a role to play ‹ probably not one particularly sympathetic to Alito.Reform Jews probably will take a position, and you know what that will be:

In the opinion in the creche cases, "he was on the opposite side of much of the Jewish community," said Mark Pelavin, associate director of the Reform movement's Religious Action Center.

* * * * *
Pelavin suggested the Reform movement also would have a role to play ‹ probably not one particularly sympathetic to Alito.

"It's not just about competence, it's about the court shifting on fundamental issues, including reproductive rights and religious liberty," he said....

The National Council of Jewish Women, which usually takes the lead in abortion-related announcements, was the first Jewish group to formally oppose Alito.

"Judge Alito has ruled to severely restrict a woman's constitutional right to abortion and against civil rights protections for both women and minorities," NCJW said in a statement Monday.

Yeah, Alito's going to bring back back-alley abortions and segregated lunch counters. Did Teddy Kennedy write their press release (or did they write his)? Don't answer that.

This reaction saddens me. The enthusiasm! Hadassah chartered a bus to take them to Washington, to demonstrate how much they loved abortion.

I am (sort of reluctantly) for abortion, but I don't consider the issue vital to my well-being. Nor do I believe Jews should be so vehemently in favor of "the right to choose" as if it were the right to choose chocolate or oatmeal cookies. People who were almost wiped out by Hitler should not consider abortion an unmitigated good.

Quotes courtesy of Washington Jewish Week.

Geezer wisdom

From the October 2005 AARP Bulletin, in the Letters to the Editor:

There is nothing worse than a "new geezer." They totter about trying to accomplish thousands of things within the first year of their geezerhood and soon run out of energy.
Smart geezers pace themselfes and take on just a few things at once. It takes years to learn how to drive with your turn signal on for 29 miles. The same can be said for driving 40 mph in the fast lane.

The letter is signed by Rita S. Krason, of Pulaksi, IL, but she's obviously referring to Delaware drivers.

I got into the wrong profession

I should have been a doctor.

Oh, sure, I was lousy at science and math, and am downright squeamish about blood and guts. But these are minor defects. The most important thing is, I love to tell people what to do! I've had this gift since childhood. Ask anyone who knows me.

On second thought, I could forget about the practice of medicine and use this gift to write editorials for the New York Times.

It's a glamour job--indoor work and no heavy lifting.

Michael Moore, hypocrite capitalist

He's not just fat, he's a liar, too, according to lapsed catholic.

'I don't own a single share of stock!' filmmaker Michael Moore proudly proclaimed....

"He's right. He doesn't own a single share. He owns tens of thousands of shares – including nearly 2,000 shares of Boeing, nearly 1,000 of Sonoco, more than 4,000 of Best Foods, more than 3,000 of Eli Lilly, more than 8,000 of Bank One and more than 2,000 of Halliburton, the company most vilified by Moore in Fahrenheit 9/11.

Nailing Joseph Wilson

This is perfect:

Maybe a Times investigation would have prompted the following hypothetical identification of Mr. Wilson, author of the guest op-ed:

Joseph C. Wilson IV, the former Ambassador to Gabon, is a Kerry adviser. Mr. Wilson is married to a CIA officer engaged in a dispute with the White House and his story has been changing over the past few months, but here is his latest version.

That would have made for honest, but possibly low-impact, journalism.

Can anyone tell me what the hell the whole thing is about? It is as baffling as the Schlesweg-Holstein question, of which The British Prime Minister, Lord Palmerston, famously said that only three people had ever known the answer, and of these, the first, Prince Albert, was dead; the second, a Foreign Office official, was mad; and the third and last, he himself, had known the answer but had now forgotten it.

The most amazing thing to me is that Ms. Plame recommended sending her husband to Niger as casually as she would have sent him out for a ham on rye (no pickles, please). And the feared and dreaded CIA sent him!

Hello! Is anyone in charge?

Needed: more ethnic slurs (food related)

This quote from Michelle Malkin: sets Laurence Simon on fire with jealousy:

This is how left's political discourse has sunk: I'm a banana and a coconut and a whore and worse. Michael Steele is an Uncle Tom and a Sambo.

And don't forget terms like Oreo, Ho-Ho, Ding-Dong, Twinkie, and pretty much everything else in the Hostess line of snack foods.

But what about Jewish conservatives? I mean, there's the term "neocon" that's thrown around, but the moment it's mentioned you get ten thousand retractions and statements saying how they didn't mean "Jew" when they said "neocon," their best friend is a Jew, they married a Jew, they love Woody Allen films, and so on.

We need a food-based slur.

May I suggest blueberry bagel?

Cynthia McKinney earns her salary

Matty May observes the Georgia anti-semite in action:

....check out what Rep. Cynthia McKinney of Georgia is doing to earn her six-figure taxpayer-subsidized salary on the Hill (info from National Review):

H.R.4210 Title: To provide for the expeditious disclosure of records relevant to the life and death of Tupac Amaru Shakur.

Sponsor: Rep McKinney, Cynthia A. [D-GA-4] (introduced 11/2/2005) Cosponsors: (none)

Committees: House Government Reform; House Rules

Latest Major Action: 11/2/2005 Referred to House committee. Status: Referred to the Committee on Government Reform, and in addition to the Committee on Rules, for a period to be subsequently determined by the Speaker, in each case for consideration of such provisions as fall within the jurisdiction of the committee concerned.

No co-sponsor? That has to be the surprise of this political season. Good luck getting that one out of committee, Cindy!

Australia threatened, human rights activists whine

Australian intelligence authorities have received specific information about a terrorist threat in Australia, according to Prime Minister John Howard.

Speaking in Canberra, Mr Howard said, “The Government has received specific intelligence and police information this week which gives cause for serious concern about a potential terrorist threat.

It’s inevitable. Equally inevitable will be the recriminations afterwards about “inadequate preparations” and accusations that the government is “asleep and the wheel”, from precisely the same people who are opposing the new anti-terror laws out of “scepticism over the imminence of a threat” and “concern over human rights implications”.

Personally I think human rights are violated a wee bit more by having your morning rail commute interrupted by being blown to bits than by ASIO raiding the homes of known exremists, but that’s just me.

an Iranian woman speaks her mind about Iran

Nothing can justify the unnecessary revolution and the ensuing mass murders of the Kurds, Political prisoners, Bahaies, etc. at the hand of the Islamic regime. The pathological liars whose deceitful and cruel belief system has condemned the Iranian nation to a life in misery and humiliation! And the growing number of people that blog under the banner of reformism gives me a toxic feel, as does the suffocating air in Tehran these days. The main difference between Khatamist charlatanism and Ahmadinejad's extremism should be sought not in ideology but in their honesty about the true nature of the regime.

Sheema Kalbasi

New life in old news

On August 2, I posted the following on Blogcritics:

The latest news on Natalee Holloway
Published on August 02, 2005
By Miriam

There isn't any.

Yes, ponds are drained, witnesses are questioned, jailed, released; the FBI come and go; everyone who ever met the girl is interviewed. Sample interview:

Interviewer: You are the dog trainer who trained Natalee's German shepherd. What do you think happened to Natalee?


Dog trainer: First off, I want to say that I feel great sympathy for Natalee's family, including her dog, Monster.

I: Does your knowledge of Natalee give you any ideas as to what occurred?

Dt: Not really, but she did love her dog.

Simple, eh? Innocuous, yes?

Well, the post will not die. So far, I have 334 comments. The commentors argue with each other, insult each other, discuss topics far removed from the Holloway case, and for all I know, have gotten married to each other and started a family, or at least exchanged recipes.

Perhaps they could have a little party.

A perfect topic for library lit

Here's a great topic for a scholarly paper for an LIS graduate student:

Two reference librarians called in sick today. Since two others work this evening, and therefore aren't on the schedule till noon or after, and our "official sub" is on the schedule for tonight, and another librarian is on vacation (like, when isn't she?), this leaves the director and me to cover this morning on Reference....


Update, 11:30 a.m.: We have an official epidemic. Another librarian--the one scheduled to work 12 to 9--just called in sounding ickier than pig-puke.

I can testify that everyone takes their vacation at the same time, as well. Obviously sinister forces, or at least meaningful ones, are at work here. What a topic for a research paper!

I personally blame it on George Bush.

Hitchens explains it all, I think

Quoted by Decision '08 Hitchens says, among other things:

...Mr. Libby stands accused of misstating his conversations with almost every journalist in Washington except for the only one–Robert Novak–who actually published the totemic name of Valerie Plame. “We have not made any allegation that Mr. Libby knowingly and intentionally outed a covert agent,” Mr. Fitzgerald contentedly confirmed.

…As to the critical question of whether Mr. Plame had any cover to blow, Mr. Fitzgerald was equally insouciant: “I am not speaking to whether or not Valerie Wilson was covert.”
In the absence of any such assertion or allegation, one must be forgiven for wondering what any of this gigantic fuss can possibly be about. I know some apparently sensible people who are prepared to believe, still, that a Machiavellian cabal in the White House wanted to punish Joseph Wilson by exposing his wife to embarrassment and even to danger. So strong is this belief that it envisages Karl Rove (say) deciding to accomplish the foul deed by tipping off Robert Novak, one of the most anti-Iraq-war and pro-CIA journalists in the capital, as if he were precisely the pliant tool one would select for the dastardly work. And then, presumably to thicken the plot, Mr. Novak calls the CIA to confirm, as it readily did, that Ms. Plame was in the agency’s employ.

Meanwhile, and just to make things more amusing, George Tenet, in his capacity as Director of Central Intelligence, tells Dick Cheney that he employs Mr. Wilson’s wife as an analyst of the weird and wonderful world of WMD. So jealously guarded is its own exclusive right to “out” her, however, that no sooner does anyone else mention her name than the CIA refers the Wilson/Plame disclosure to the Department of Justice.

…What if Mr. Wilson spoke falsely when he asserted that his wife, who was not in fact under “non-official cover,” had nothing to do with his visit to Niger? What if he was wrong in stating that Iraqi envoys had never even expressed an interest in Niger’s only export? (Most European intelligence services stand by their story that there was indeed such a Baathist initiative.) What if his main friends in Niger were the very people he was supposed to be investigating?

Well, in that event, and after he had awarded himself some space on an op-ed page, what was to inhibit an employee of the Bush administration from calling attention to these facts, and letting reporters decide for themselves? The CIA had proven itself untrustworthy or incompetent on numerous occasions before, during and after the crisis of Sept. 11, 2001. Why should it be the only agency of the government that can invoke the law, broken or (as in this case) unbroken, to protect itself from leaks while protecting its own leakers?

Hitch obviously has his facts right. So what is going on? Why was this chap Fitzgerald (and a bunch of flunkies, no doubt) on the government payroll for two years, to discover that nothing happened but Mr. Libby did whatever it was that, however, didn't happen. Talk about government waste. And let's not even think about Judith Miller.

As for me, I've never even understood Watergate. But I suspect that it is another case of overpaid government employees finding some mischief to get into when not under adult supervision.

And what's with Valerie P's recommendation being accepted so casually by the high muckety-mucks at the CIA? You'd think she was recommending her nephew for a summer job in the mailroom, so casually was her offer accepted.

The CIA are obviously a bunch of bums, and bone stupid at that.

Isn't it romantic?

According to an article in the Telegraph:

When a male mouse meets the object of his desire he sings her a love song, scientists have discovered.

It has long been known that male mice utter ultrasonic squeaks in the presence of the opposite sex, but a study using the latest computer analysis has established for the first time that these are more than mere random sounds - they are full-blooded love ballads. []

Trials with 45 different mice produced similar results, with each male singing a slightly different tune.

The team now wants to see whether the females are swayed by a good male song, which could be a measure of his fitness.

A chain letter you'd better not ignore:

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will drop it's bomb on your head at 5:00 pm today and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend of a friend's neighbor's cousin twice removed.

Matt hates daylight savings time

Lonetreeonthe prairie doesn't like the way the whole thing is handled:

I have a new proposal for Daylight Savings Time.

This whole spring forward thing where we lose an hour? This needs to not be on a weekend. That is my hour. I need to lose an hour on Monday or even Thursday. Preferably in the middle of the afternoon. I think it would be fantastic to magically have one less hour on a Monday to deal with. But take somebody's boss's hour. Don't take mine.

The joy of public toilets

I'm limiting myself to women's toilets, because I don't know what goes on in the men's room.

Okay, girls, who among you is peeing on the toilet seats, and how do you manage it, given the limitations of anatomy?

And what is exactly the fun of festooning an entire roll of toilet paper around the stall?

And what's with not flushing? Trying to conserve water?

I've been meditating on public restrooms since the other day, when I found myself using one which had no toilet paper. Always prepared, I fished out a small pack of tissues from the bottom of my purse, where they had been since the Carter administration. Unfortunately, they had morphed back into their original form, that of wood pulp. A teeny tiny piece of plank.

As I attempted to rip this block of wood into some semblance of paper, I could hear muttering from the waiting line. (There is always a line at the women's room.) I finally found a pair of sales receipts and finished the job.

Next time I'll try to hold it until I get home.