When I read this I don't feel as guilty...

Another clothing collector exhibits her closet.



I personally am into shoes in a big way, particularly sale shoes. I try to wear each pair at least once and then if they are totally unsuitable I give them to the Good Will. I still have many too many.

My other weakness is black sweaters. I have: wool, cashmere, cotton, long-sleeved, short sleeve, pullover, cardigan. They feature buttons, zippers, ruffles, lace. When I open my drawer I can't find anything. All I see is a sea of black.

Best tail

There's a woman who goes to my gym regularly. She has a remarkably youthful figure which does not go with her unremarkable middle-aged face. I would place her age as somewhere between 55 and death. Her workout garb calls to mind the hookers plying their trade at the entrance to the Lincoln Tunnel. She wears skimpy little outfits which show a lot of skin. Her blonde hair is worn in two pigtails, a la Shirley Temple as Heidi. You might call her mutton dressed as lamb.

I don't quite know how to think about this woman. On the one hand, she deserves admiration for the hard work she has done to preserve a youthful figure. On the other hand, she looks, well, stupid. However, she is a heartbreaker among the geriatric set. Some of the older men consider her quite irresistible and vie for her favors. I have heard of fights breaking out in the parking lot over her, proving, if any proof were needed, that there is no fool like an old fool.

The younger men think she is repulsive, which is unkind of them, and think she should be forced to wear more clothes. Some of them feel quite offended by her. I think they would not be so riled if she dressed her age.

Of course, she wears the shortest of shorts. One of these pairs of shorts has emblazoned across the seat, "Best tail."

Here's to more and better size inflation

Since I myself am inflating, size inflation works for me. It's the only way I can ever fit into a size 10. Ha! In your dreams!

When I was young, back in the 20th century, 6 was about the smallest size you could find, and only rarely. Even 8 was hard to find. 10, 12, 14, those were the sizes of normal young women. Even 16 was not unknown. I weighed 116, had a 25 inch waistline, and wore a 12. I weigh, er, considerably more now. Let's not get into specifics.

Now that American women are fatter than ever, size numbers are smaller than ever. What's wrong with this picture? How much lower than zero can you go?