Saturday, July 21, 2007

Jews don't want to run the world

We've been running the world long enough, and we're tired.

Debbie Hirschberg says her Hadassah group are weary of all the work involved in running the world's financial system: "Frankly, our group would like to get back to fund-raising for our Purim Carnival. No-one appreciates the work we've put in anyway."

Irv Selnick of Beverly Hills has had enough of the military-industrial complex. "What a bunch of goyeshe kops," he said. "My dental practice is definitely suffering. I'd rather fill cavities."

The natural disaster franchise has been a disappointment for the Thursday Night Bridge Club at the Jewish Center. "We did our best, but Hurricane Katrina on top of the tsunami has worn us out. Let the Arabs take care of it. They have a real gift (for disasters."

Sam and Ida Kraus of Kansas City, MO, would like someone else to run Big Media. They believe the job needs to be handled by a larger group. "I'd hate to tell you how much work I've done just on the New York Times, never mind the rest of them. And what about Dan Rather? Have rachmonis! It's time for a change!"

Managing the entertainment industry has proved a real headache for the B'nai Brith of Greater Minneapolis. They feel that a separate organization should be formed just to cope with Barbra Streisand. Susan Sarandon has been a real headache too. "We're the ones who get blamed when box office revenues are down. It's a thankless job. Maybe Bob Mugabe would like to take it on. He has lots of big ideas."

Mrs. Sadie Cohen, of Bexley, OH, has to give up direction of the sports world because she is moving into assisted living. "I really loved doing it. But something's got to give. After all, I'm 85. Genug gekacken."

Ed Finklestein and his brother Irwin want to give up running the Worldwide Communist Conspiracy. Ed, contacted at his Baltimore, MD home, had this to say: "Why are we giving this up? You have to ask? Have you ever had to listen to one of Fidel Castro's speeches? A choleryah auf im."

World, you're on your own. Try the Unitarians.

(Another recycled post.)

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