Nickie Goomba closes his blog

He will be missed.

A jobs program for pedophiles

From the telegraph:

Amazingly,... ministers have cleared an unknown number of men with a tendency to paedophilia to work in schools. The Government is evidently unable to understand that protecting children is incompatible with leaving them with paedophiles.

No intelligible rationale for this bizarre policy has come from the Government. The Education Secretary, Ruth Kelly, has merely said the whole issue should be "looked at seriously", and promised a new law amalgamating the various lists that identify those guilty of offences against children.

How has the Government managed to get itself into the position where it cannot recognise that protecting children is incompatible with exposing them to men known to harbour the desire to have sex with them? On behalf of the Government, it has been claimed that the European Convention on Human Rights has tied the Government's hands. That Convention, it is alleged, stipulates that no one can be deprived of "the right to work" without a fair hearing - which means that even paedophiles have to be individually assessed for their suitability to work with children, and must have a real chance of being cleared to do so.

After all, pedophiles have rights, too. Not giving them jobs teaching kids might hurt their feelings.

The sock drawer theory

Left behind child passes on a tip from a writing teacher:

[M]y writing instructor ... said that you should take whatever you write and put it in your sock drawer, and then later, much later, read it again. If you can stomach it, then start editing, cause you got it to good....
She didn't say what to do if the writing merely smelled of fabric softener after its month-long exile.

How about putting it in with your dirty socks? It won't smell of fabric softener, anyway.

The joy of humdrum sex

Can people enjoy sex after marriage?

Usually it is the thought of all the work getting ready for sex that puts me off. You know, are my legs shaved (chances are they are not)? Have I “freshened” up? Are the hedges trimmed and pruned? And then the actual sex. The sex part is way cool, but the getting up to that part seems too time consuming and overwhelming sometimes. Not overwhelming, but you know what I mean. Like, ok can’t we just go straight to orgasm because I have laundry to do, I would like to watch a little boob tube and I need to get up early for work tomorrow.

Full frontal teen-age lesbian sex orgy

Coming to a theater near you.

James Frey--criminal or liar?

The smoking gun has published an expose of the rather shabby lies of James Frey, author of "A Million Little Pieces." Frey doesn't even bother to deny his exaggerations, which mostly concern his boasts to being a big, bad criminal.

None of this matters except the book has been taken up by Oprah Winfrey, making Frey the equivelant of a literary rock star, and incidentally a millionaire.

I read and enjoyed "Million." Its raw power captivated me and swept me away, suspending incredulity. Frey can certainly write, when he wants to, and "Million" is a tour de force.

But his new book, "My Friend Leonard," casts doubt about its predecessor. I can believe six impossible things before breakfast, but I cannot believe in Leonard, as he is presented in the book; half racketeer, half saint, and 100 percent fairy godfather. Leonard has quasi-adopted young James, addressing him as "My Son," and granting his every wish. Need $30,000? Just ask Leonard. Want to get out of jail free? Leonard is your man. All difficulties are swept aside when Leonard is on the case.

"Friend" is a lame book. It outlines the career of James after leaving the rehab, with good old Leonard showing up once in a while to take James and all his friends out for a magnificent dinner, described in exhaustive detail. Almost every dinner is the same, featuring steak and creamed spinach mostly, and one wonders why these meals have to be cataloged so meticulously. Coudl it be that the author is just filling up space, padding his book to make it longer? Hmmm.

"Friend" is improbable from the get-go. Frey describes the prison he is sent to as a place for "violent and felonious offenders" who were always watched over by five to seven deputies." This hardly seemed possible to me--a three-month sentence to a prison for the highly dangerous? No way!

In hindsight, much of the material in "Million" is similarly incredible; the crack whore/saint Lilly, who reminds me of one of Dickens' soppier heroines; the incident where James leaves the rehab to rescue Lilly from a crack house and is re-admitted; Frey having several root canals without sedation; Frey being given a coat by a kindly bus driver; the crook Leonard conspiring with a judge to get James' sentence reduced. Take your pick.

I have to say I bought the whole package and now I feel swindled. But Frey joins a long list of serial liars who have penned memoirs, Lorenzo Carcatella and Frank McCourt among them. Their lack of veracity in no way deters their fans, who want to believe every word.

Speaking up for a persecuted minority

I mean the US Postal Service.

I've heard a lot of people complaining about the post office generally, and specifically about the rise in rates and the lack of 2 cent stamps. But I think the postal service is getting a bum rap. How far would you carry a letter for 39 cents?

Postal employees are trying to get rid of their negative image. Our mailman is friendly and courteous, and the people in my local post office are pleasant and helpful, but that's anecdotal evidence. Everyone has a horror story of lost mail, packages not delivered on time, and rude behavior or indifference. However, the postal service carries billions of items, 99.8 percent of which get to their destination in a timely manner.

As for the expression "going postal"; perhaps, in the light of recent events, "going high school" would better desribe someone going berserk.

Back in the '80s, it was different. The town with the library where I worked had a post office with a postmistress called Mrs. Van Hassel. Truly. We were the only library I've ever heard of which was not allowed to send packages library rate. Mrs VH insisted that library rate was only for packages sent to the library. The building was suffused in gloom, and the employees were hiding behind their cages, looking morose when you got their attention.

So kiss your mail carrier and give him a nice tip at Christmas.

Cold too hot

From Mrk Steyn::

...[T]he problem for the Kyoto cultists is that the end of the world's nighness is never quite as nigh as you'd like. Thirty years ago, Lowell Ponte had a huge bestseller called The Cooling: Has the new ice age already begun? Can we survive?

Answer: No, it hasn't. Yes, we can. So, when the new ice age predicted in the '70s failed to emerge, the eco-crowd moved on in the '80s to global warming, and then more recently to claiming as evidence of global warming every conceivable meteorological phenomenon: lack of global warmth is evidence of global warming; frost, ice, snow, glaciers, they're all signs of global warming, too. If you live in England, where it's 12C and partly cloudy all summer and 11.5C and overcast all winter, that dramatic climate change is also evidence of global warming.

News you can use

Good fences

make good neighbors.

Ignorant hillbillies?

Rachel has a good post about the contempt with which the dead miners are treated in some quarters.

I happen to have met lots of people from West Virginia who were clients of my mother, the lawyer. My uncle claimed they had a pipeline directly from West Virginia to her office. They had left West Virginia and its mines for the attractions of factory work in Columbus, Ohio. They often had troubles which required a lawyer, and that's where my mother came in.

They were mainly unlettered people but they were friendly and generous. We often visited their homes and were treated with great hospitality. When my mother's car was in the shop for an extended period, one of these "hillbillies" would drive her in his truck wherever she wanted to go. They visited her when she was ill and brought home-baked cakes. Some were jerks, but some of every group are jerks, not omitting the editorial writers of the Amsterdam News. All of Fred Phelps' group are jerks.

I really resent it when they are considered "unpersons," ignorant rubes unworthy of respect. Black people and Jews like myself who have suffered prejudice know better. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Note: West Virginia became a state when it seceded from Virginia during the Civil War.

Another note: If it weren't for coal miners, some of us would be mighty cold.

Here comes the judge

Vermont judge sentences rapist to six months.

An Oklahoma judge has a good time at work.

Senile judge likens Bush to Mussolini.

The British opposition leader

believe that the most pressing problem in Britain today is... chocolate.

Thanks to junkscience for the heads-up.

Does the mustard go on the meat...

or on the bread? My husband insists that you should apply mustard (or mayonnaise, or ketchup) to the meat in a sandwich. Never, never spread it on the bread. It doesn't taste right that way, according to him. It's okay to open a sandwich, put mustard on the meat, and then slap the bread directly on top. That tastes okay.

Also, the door to his (and my) bedroom must be closed at all times. Even if there is no-one else in the house but me and him. Even if there's no-one in the house but him.

Furthermore, you cannot open a window near his head as it causes him to get an earache. And shouting out of an open window to someone in the street simply isn't done by civilized people.

Luckily, I long since stopped paying attention to any of this, but our children think it is beyond weird. Especially the mustard.

Dear President Bush:

I understand that the war in Iraq is about oil. All the best people and the most prestigious newspapers say so, so how could it not be true? I want you to know that I'm totally okay with that.

What I want to know is, where is this oil? I have to pay $2.25 for gas while Iraqis pay about 64 cents. I would prefer it if I got gas for 64 cents and the Iraqis paid $2.25. So, where's this oil, Mr. President? I never got my shipment.

I bet the money all went to Halliburton. And Ken Lay.

The care and feeding

of moonbats, if you must have them:

The most important staple of any moonbat's diet,... is Kool-Aid --- and lots of it! Lacking self-control, they will usually drink all the Kool-Aid they can find, so it is wise to ration it to keep them from overdosing. A pitcher or two a day should suffice, and alternating flavors for the sake of variety is always a nice gesture.

My computer is back

The computer guy took my computer away to fix it. It was gone for 48 hours and I felt as if someone had taken my eyeball somewhere for a while.

I realized what an incredible amount of time I waste on the computer, specifically Al Gore's little invention, the Internet. I check my bank account constantly, not that the account is going anywhere, or that any new events have occurred, like the Publisher's clearning House electronically transferring a million dollars to my account.

During that traumatic 48 hours, I washed the kitchen floor, put my laundry away, and cleaned my office. I even filed. I hung up all the clothes that someone had piled on the bed. I hated every minute of it.

Kate O'beirne disses feminists

My favorite quote:

I have long thought that if high-school boys had invited homely girls to the prom we might have been spared the feminist movement. We live with the destructive feminist agenda

From right wing sparkle.

Another demo from the "religion of peace" gang

From Two Dogs:

The "Religion of Peace" Strikes Again!
Blood-thirsty Islamic savages detonated a bomb in a crowded market in Indonesia this morning. Eight were killed and forty-five were wounded by nails and ball-bearings from the bomb. There were no Muslims in the market because they sell pork there.

It gets even better. The article goes on to say that "Despite a peace deal, Islamic militants have continued a campaign of bombings, shootings and other attacks on Christians, including market blasts in May that killed 20 people and the beheadings of three Christian schoolgirls in October. No one has been charged in those attacks."

Sounds like that "Peace Deal" is only being observed by one side. At some point in the very near future, sane people will come to the conclusion that there are no "peaceful" Muslims. There is no telling what will happen then.

The idiots who think Christians are being discriminated against because no-one sings Christmas songs in school any more and salesclerks say "Happy Holidays" aught to relax. No-one is killing them because they ate a pork chop.

Here come the other five:

6. Having lived in New Jersey for so many years, I have to include our ex-governor, the "gay American" who hired his sweetie to be Homeland Security Director without inquiring whether the man was a US citizen. Good job, Jim.

7. Since I come from Ohio, it would be remiss to neglect Bob Taft, the first of an old and illustrious political family to publicly disgrace the family name and put the Ohio Republican Party in the dumper.

8. Barbra Streisand: She can't even spell her name right. That doesn't stop her from voicing her opinions, though. Nothing could, short of a bullet to the brain.

9. Sean Penn, last seen sinking his own boat.

10. I was going to mention Janeane Garafolo, but I think honors should go to the entire Air America team.

Honorable mention to: Al Gore; Chuck Hegel; Dick Durbin. Ray Nagin; Kathleen Blanco; Maureen Dowd. They all made a valiant effort to make asses of themselves.

Truly an embarrassment of riches.