Delaware Top Blogs

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

What independent voters want

Dave Nalle analyzes independent voters:

Independent voters want to protect their interests and protect their rights. They know that the activist extremes of the two major parties have agendas which involve whittling away their rights in all sorts of areas, in service of religious, moral and political ideologies. They also understand that the parties have to cater to these extremes in order to turn out reliable, core votes. But above all, they have a simple agenda of their own. They want to be left alone and to protect their families, their property and their wallets. In picking how they will vote independents have to decide which party's extreme agitators are more threatening to them.

This is where the Republicans tend to win out. While the radicals of both parties want to limit liberty and impose intrusive restrictions on people to further their marginal causes, the general threat level of the Republican extremists is more acceptable, however reprehensible their specific issue positions may be. Most of the ways that extreme Republican factions want to persecute people and take away their rights apply primarily to small groups who are relatively politically unpopular and to rights which many people see as being of secondary importance. In contrast, the radical elements of the Democratic party tend to promote policies which impact very fundamental rights and which would affect much larger portions of the population. In grade-school terms, the Republicans are like playground bullies who are going to take lunch money away from the whiney unpopular child who picks his nose in class, while the Democrats are the crusading parent who wants to ban recess for everyone because someone could get hurt on the playground.

The main bugaboo of the Republican party is the religious right. They're mostly out to get homosexuals and to ban abortion. Both of these issues target relatively small and unpopular segments of the population. Homosexuals are everywhere, but they're less than 10% of the population and they're out of the mainstream by definition. They are seen as alien, threatening and objects of derision by a lot of people, even though they may know better. Everyone knows that unplanned pregnancies are a problem, but underlying the surface sympathy is a resentment of the mother and a condemnation of the presumed promiscuousness which created the situation. Again, women seeking abortions are a small and powerless group and one which doesn't evoke a lot of genuine sympathy. In both of these examples most independent voters can easily say "what do I care, I'm not gay and I'm not going to get knocked up with an unwanted baby."

The same holds true with the issues of the extreme 'law and order' Republicans. Most people don't plan to commit a murder so they don't mind the death penalty. Most look down on drug users so they put up with the War on Drugs. Most can even look at infringements of privacy rights under the 4th Amendment and not worry because they aren't criminals or terrorists and therefore have nothing to hide. Restrictions on social service programs are an acceptable evil because those people should work harder and provide for thesmelves. This attitude even extends to some degree to situations like the War in Iraq. It mostly afflicts people in a foreign country, and a very small number of US soldiers who volunteered to be there in the first place. In all these cases the independent, self-centered voter can frown and say "What does it matter to me? I'm not really directly hurt by any of this."

The independent voter may not like any of these programs. They may be nominally pro-gay and pro-choice and anti-war and pro-drugs, etc. But when it comes down to making a choice most of them ultimately decide that if it doesn't hurt them directly it's an acceptable compromise.

In contrast, the more radical elements of the democratic party promote policies which independent voters find much more generally threatening. These are generally political objectives which go against the three most basic rights of life, liberty and property and which apply to the majority of people in the society.

Monday, April 10, 2006

O brave new world!

the hottest news I've heard in a long time:

A laser which melts fat is being developed by scientists.
Experts from the Massachusetts General Hospital in the US said it could be used to treat heart disease, cellulite, and acne.The laser is able for the first time to heat up fat in the body without harming the overlying skin....
his also makes me think soon we'll all be walking around with mini hand-lasers that we handle ourselves, contantly "shaping up" our body. For a hot date, instead of just getting a nice new outfit, you'll also carve the abs up a little, dissolve the double-chin, and slice some definition into the arms and ... VOILA!

Honk if you hate bumper stickers

I'm not a fan of prefabricated sentiments or canned cleverness. If you're going to be clever, make up your own snappy sayings.

I started to hate bumperstickers when anti-war protestors sported this one: War is bad for children and other living things. This statement manages to be both sanctimonious and smarmy. For "war" you could sustitute pollution, smoking, transfats, or any other damn thing.

I was driving behind some idiot whose bumper sticker read: Somewhere in Texas a village is missing an idiot.
Well, someone in Delaware is not missing a very stupid driver.
Then there's the ever popular

Bush lied, people died.


By the way, I don't care for Nuke the whales,My other car is a Mercedes, or--I could go on, but what's the point?

The case of the missing index cards

Mr Charm has been walking around the house, searching in every nook and cranny and becoming progressively louder, until I can no longer ignore him.

Mr C: "I swear to God, nothing of mine is in the right place. I can never find anything. All my stuff is lost!"

Me: "What are you looking for?"

"I want my index cards! I have always written things down on index cards. Where are my index cards? I can't find any of my stuff! This house is a mess."

Me: "How about using post-it notes?"

Mr C: "I don't want those! I want my index cards!"

Me: "How about a legal pad?"

Mr C: "Tht's too big! I want to write something down and put it in my pocket. Where are my index cards?"

I decided years ago that I had to either ignore him or kill him.

The last word on corsets--maybe

A comprehensive view of the history of the corset:

The corset is a beautiful object, with harmonious lines and volumes and it celebrates the beauty of women’s bodies. In the 'minute culture' of our societies, dominated by the ephemeral (Lipovetsky, Gilles, L'empire de l'éphémère, Poche, 1991), the corset remains a timeless element of seduction and will continue to inspire future generations of designers.


Next week: the corset and the Jewish problem.

So many insanities--so little time

Carnival of the Insanities is up.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Religious police prevent 10-year-old from enticing

sex-maddened Iranian men to rape her.

Islamic Republic religious police stopped a 10 year old girl from boarding on an internal flight to Kerman in South Iran, because her overcoat - known as Manto in Iran - was too short! Presumably the Islamic officials found a short overcoat on a 10 year old girl too sexually provocative for their taste.

When the father protested at the officials, he was beaten up in front of his 10 year old daughter who was crying all the time.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Rotten employees: the sequel

I can't imagine I left good old Ethel off my list of really rotten employees--she was a doozy. She wanted me to give her the job of children's librarian even though 1) she wasn't a librarian, and 2)she didn't like children. Except for these minor cavils, she was superbly qualified.

Ethel once ran out of the building to apprehend a kid who had not paid a 10 cent fine--and that was her finest hour. Did I mention that she couldn't do anything? The simplest task was beyond her powers. Not only that--she did something egregiously wrong every day--like being nasty to patrons. I was continually having to do damage control.

Fortunately, she quit in a snit one day. She got her revenge by telling everyone in the community that I was getting rid of all the Christian books and replacing them with Jewish books.

Then there was Doris, who couldn't do much either, but was more pleasant, really a poor soul. Clueless. I had to tell her that it was inappropriate to bring a flask to work and take a little nip now and then, even if she was working in the back room where no-one could see her. Doris' hobby was picking up guys at the Port Authority bus terminal in New York. She was hired as part of a federal jobs program and placed in the library because no-one else in the town government wanted her. She also wanted to be the children's librarian and had the same qualifications as Ethel.

I had to inform Doris that the funds for her pay had been used up and we could no longer afford her services. She pitched such a fit in my office that I could have used a nip from that flask.

Mankind (humankind?) is the problem

and the solution is the ebola virus:

There is always something special about science meetings. The 109th meeting of the Texas Academy of Science at Lamar University in Beaumont on 3-5 March 2006 was especially exciting for me....

But there was a gravely disturbing side to that otherwise scientifically significant meeting, for I watched in amazement as a few hundred members of the Texas Academy of Science rose to their feet and gave a standing ovation to a speech that ....enthusiastically advocated the elimination of 90 percent of Earth's population by airborne Ebola. The speech was given by Dr. Eric R. Pianka ... the University of Texas evolutionary ecologist and lizard expert who the Academy named the 2006 Distinguished Texas Scientist....
Professor Pianka began his speech by explaining that the general public is not yet ready to hear what he was about to tell us....
One of Pianka's earliest points was a condemnation of anthropocentrism, or the idea that humankind occupies a privileged position in the Universe. He told a story about how a neighbor asked him what good the lizards are that he studies. He answered, “What good are you?”

Pianka hammered his point home by exclaiming, “We're no better than bacteria!”

Pianka then began laying out his concerns about how human overpopulation is ruining the Earth....

Professor Pianka said the Earth as we know it will not survive without drastic measures. Then, and without presenting any data to justify this number, he asserted that the only feasible solution to saving the Earth is to reduce the population to 10 percent of the present number....

War and famine would not do, he explained. Instead, disease offered the most efficient and fastest way to kill the billions that must soon die if the population crisis is to be solved....

AIDS is not an efficient killer, he explained, because it is too slow. His favorite candidate for eliminating 90 percent of the world's population is airborne Ebola ( Ebola Reston ), because it is both highly lethal and it kills in days, instead of years. However, Professor Pianka did not mention that Ebola victims die a slow and torturous death as the virus initiates a cascade of biological calamities inside the victim that eventually liquefy the internal organs.

After praising the Ebola virus for its efficiency at killing, Pianka paused, leaned over the lectern, looked at us and carefully said, “We've got airborne 90 percent mortality in humans. Killing humans. Think about that.”

With his slide of human skulls towering on the screen behind him, Professor Pianka was deadly serious. The audience that had been applauding some of his statements now sat silent.

After a dramatic pause, Pianka returned to politics and environmentalism. But he revisited his call for mass death when he reflected on the oil situation.

“And the fossil fuels are running out,” he said, “so I think we may have to cut back to two billion, which would be about one-third as many people.” So the oil crisis alone may require eliminating two-third's of the world's population.

How soon must the mass dying begin if Earth is to be saved? Apparently fairly soon, for Pianka suggested he might be around when the killer disease goes to work. He was born in 1939, and his lengthy obituary appears on his web site.

When Pianka finished his remarks, the audience applauded. It wasn't merely a smattering of polite clapping that audiences diplomatically reserve for poor or boring speakers. It was a loud, vigorous and enthusiastic applause.

Then came the question and answer session, in which Professor Pianka stated that other diseases are also efficient killers.

The audience laughed when he said, “You know, the bird flu's good, too.” They laughed again when he proposed, with a discernable note of glee in his voice that, “We need to sterilize everybody on the Earth.”

After noting that the audience did not represent the general population, a questioner asked, "What kind of reception have you received as you have presented these ideas to other audiences that are not representative of us?"...

Pianka replied, "I speak to the converted!"

He spoke glowingly of the police state in China that enforces their one-child policy. He said, "Smarter people have fewer kids." He said those who don't have a conscience about the Earth will inherit the Earth, "...because those who care make fewer babies and those that didn't care made more babies." He said we will evolve as uncaring people, and "I think IQs are falling for the same reason, too."

With this, the questioning was over. Immediately almost every scientist, professor and college student present stood to their feet and vigorously applauded the man who had enthusiastically endorsed the elimination of 90 percent of the human population. Some even cheered....

Yet five hours later, the distinguished leaders of the Texas Academy of Science presented Pianka with a plaque in recognition of his being named 2006 Distinguished Texas Scientist. When the banquet hall filled with more than 400 people responded with enthusiastic applause, I walked out in protest....

The 45-minute lecture before the Texas Academy of Science converted a university biology senior into a Pianka disciple, who then published a blog that seriously supports Pianka's mass death wish....

Must now we worry that a Pianka-worshipping former student might someday become a professional biologist or physician with access to the most deadly strains of viruses and bacteria? I believe that airborne Ebola is unlikely to threaten the world outside of Central Africa. But scientists have regenerated the 1918 Spanish flu virus that killed 50 million people. There is concern that small pox might someday return. And what other terrible plagues are waiting out there in the natural world to cross the species barrier and to which scientists will one day have access?

Meanwhile, I still can't get out of my mind the pleasant spring day in Texas when a few hundred scientists of the Texas Academy of Science gave a standing ovation for a speaker who they heard advocate for the slow and torturous death of over five billion human beings.

Reference to this article can be found at World Net Daily. a tip of le chapeau to rightjokester.

Winners get to write history

Maybe.


A lot has been made out of how our ancesters took this land. Manipulating American guilt has gotten a lot of people a lot of advantages.

My answer to that is simple. Every civilization has been formed from warfare. The Native Americans fought among themselves (Canada, Mexico and USA areas). European, African, South American and Asian states were formed the same way. Whoever wins gets the prize and gets to write the history. That’s the way of the world and always has been.


Except where the Israelis are concerned. They are expected to be reviled as bloodthirsty aggressors for defending their own country. The territory they won must be given back.

As for the American Indians: the fiction that the land they occupy is some kind of sovereign territory and that they have the right to blight some of the prettiest areas with casinos and all the crime, disorder, and undesirable visitors that accompany them is disgusting. All the agencies which are designed to help or hinder the Indians should be abolished. They are U S citizens and nothing more, a status envied by people all over the world. Let them take care of transmitting their own culture as Greek-Americans, Irish-Americans, and countless others do, and lay off the guilt. And the gambling. And the cigarette sales.

I refuse to feel guilty about the massacre of Indians, slavery, Japanese internment, or anything else I personally did not do. I've got enough sins of my own to be responsible about. Collective guilt is bullshit.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Men don't understand the shoe thing

according to Jack.

I come from a long line of shoe fanatics. My mother didn't seem to care what she wore from the knees up, but she was inordinately vain about her slim ankles and small feet. One night when my parents had company I took out her 22 pairs of shoes and lined them up in the upstairs hall and played shoe store. I particularly loved tht she had purple shoes! Oh the beauty of it! So you see I was doomed from the start.

As a young woman I wore high heels when walking to and from the subway in New York in the snow. At the end of each day I staggered into my apartment and left the shoes by the door.

One thing about buying shoes: if you have gained a few pounds and can't fit into any of the clothes on the racks, you can always find a pair of shoes that fit. I have two closets filled with shoes. By now I no longer wear them, I just collect them, as some people collect paperweights. If people can collect barbed wire and insulators, I can collect shoes with a clear conscience. Sometimes I even wear them, which you can't do with paperweights, barbed wire or insulators.

President Bush: really stupid or just too nice?

Powerline has a long, detailed post about how the State Department is trying to subvert the President's mission in Iraq. This leads me to ask a stupid question: who is President, Bush or some stupid G27 hack who thinks he's an expert on diplomacy? Or, why doesn't Bush kick some a**?

His father was a gentleman and way too nice to govern. He took people at their word--always a mistake in Washington--and received many stabs in his back as a result. Maybe Bush II can't do anything with these subordinates. You can't fire civil servants but you can make their lives hell on earth.

I can't imagine Roosevelt putting up with such disloyalty--either Roosevelt.

history of dire predictions

that never come true:

Science magazine (Dec. 10, 1976) warned of "extensive Northern Hemisphere glaciation.''
Science Digest (February 1973) reported that "the world's climatologists are agreed'' that we must "prepare for the next ice age.''
The Christian Science Monitor ("Warning: Earth's Climate is Changing Faster than Even Experts Expect,'' Aug. 27, 1974) reported that glaciers "have begun to advance,'' "growing seasons in England and Scandinavia are getting shorter'' and "the North Atlantic is cooling down about as fast as an ocean can cool.''
Newsweek agreed ("The Cooling World,'' April 28, 1975) that meteorologists "are almost unanimous'' that catastrophic famines might result from the global cooling that The New York Times (Sept. 14, 1975) said "may mark the return to another ice age.''
The Times (May 21, 1975) also said "a major cooling of the climate is widely considered inevitable'' now that it is "well established'' that the Northern Hemisphere's climate "has been getting cooler since about 1950.''
Are these the same asshats that told me we were going to be out of oil by 1980 or '85, and I'd die of sickness because of no medicines (made from oil), or I'd die of starvation because of no fertalizers (made with oil).
Of course, I was going to starve anyway because the crops were going to die from the new ice-age, so I wouldn't need to worry about running out of petroleum because I'd already be dead!!
Or how about the world-wide collapse in the '80's from the "population explosion"?

So what is it, global warming or nuclear winter?

Thursday, April 06, 2006

You must suffer to be beautiful

but it's worth it.

A monument to African Americans in the military in Wilmington, DE

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I was touched when I saw this. It's a pretty spot, surrounded by flowering trees--a fitting memorial and a nice place for a moment's quiet reflection.

A granny challenge

There’s only one thing that scares Scottish men. |

Their grannies!

I had one. 4′11 of utter will. She could cure constipation with a glance and make Einstein feel like a brain damaged idiot with a raised eyebrow....

Just be thankful we never unleashed our grannies on you… well not yet anyway.

Scottish grannies? Hah! A Jewish granny can beat up a Scottish granny any day of the week with one hand tied behind her back.

The Wilmington Institute Library

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This is the library which has my heart. They have all the books you remember from libraries past. Pearl Buck? They've got her. Sir Walter Scott? Yep. And the book I look for, the signifier, Lorna Doone; they've got old Lorna, all right. Some day I'll have to read that book, but for now, seeing it on the shelf is like seeing an old friend.

The picture is lousy, but there's no way to take a really good picture of it. There are too many bus shelters, light poles, traffic signs and so on in the way. But it is expressive of the grandeur that was Library. I sometimes flirt with the Brandywine Hundred Library, but I always return to my main squeeze.

US recommends this entertaining, educational film to Iran

From good old Potfrey.

IRA does it again

There have been better times for the British and Irish premiers to discuss the Northern Ireland peace process. Today, their talks are marred by the latest demonstration of the republicans' commitment to "peace": the grisly mutilation and assassination of the double agent Denis Donaldson....

The murder has... proved the IRA's consistency. Whether in 1922, 1969 or 1998, as soon as one part lays down its arms, another picks them up.

Also, as always, the barefaced lie is wheeled out to reduce republican embarrassment when one of their hoods goes too far. Happily, a public disgusted by these gangsters and by their terrorism knows that as soon as representatives of the IRA disclaim responsibility for an act of violence, the opposite will almost certainly turn out to be true.

Mr Blair's strategy towards Ulster has in recent months become increasingly preposterous. The IRA has been defeated. After the attacks on America in 2001 the republicans' main paymasters pulled the plug on the organisation: terrorism no longer had that romantic tinge on the other side of the Atlantic. That is why the IRA needs to rob banks and run drugs, which has overtaken the political struggle as its main business and raison d'être.

However, this is a gang of failed criminals and murderers whom Mr Blair remains only too keen to propitiate....

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Passover is no longer a challenge

According to the New York Times , a lot of foods that used to be forbidden on Passover are now permitted.

The biblical prohibition against leavened bread at Passover — which begins on Wednesday night — has kept observant Jews from using any leavening at all. Cakes and cookies of matzo meal (ground matzo), matzo cake meal (which is more finely ground) and nuts can be tasty, but dense.

So it will surprise many Jews — it certainly surprised me — that among the profusion of products that most Orthodox certification agencies have approved for Passover are not just baking soda, but also baking powder.

Some rabbis are lifting other dietary prohibitions that they say were based on misunderstandings or overly cautious interpretations of biblical sanctions, and because they want to simplify the observance.

"The holiday has become overly complicated, and people are turning away from the rigorous practice of it," said Rabbi Jeffrey A. Wohlberg, the senior rabbi at conservative Adas Israel Congregation in Washington.


Wow! This will be a shock to the OCD-orthodox in my family--the ones who have two dishwashers, one for dairy and one for meat. They are famous for carrying Passover to the next level of possibility: cleaning their ovens with a blowtorch, seeking out not just Kosher butter but Kosher for Passover butter. Their matzoh of choice is shmura matzoh, which is even more tasteless than the regular stuff. And they would never eat egg matzoh--it is made for heretics and goyim.

Half the fun of Passover is being more observant than the next guy.

So--baking powder?

One of my daughters wants to know our family history

not in the sense that we carry some genetic defect. She just wants to know where we are coming from. So I thought I would share some of my recollections with you guys and kill two birds with one stone.

My father's father was a yeshiva bocher in Hungary. This is a young guy who studies Torah and has no money, so he stays with a different family every night. A kind of share-the-poverty scheme. Ideally, he will marry a girl with money so he can continue his studies, and so it was with my grandfather.

My grandmother's father had a lumberyard, I believe. Anyway, they married and found themselves in Youngstown, Ohio.

The old man was a sweetheart, always a kind word for everyone, so it stands to reason he would marry a harpy. Grandma was very fussy, particularly about the respect due to her. For instance, if she was in the room one could not refer to her as "she," as in "she wants the peanut butter." You had to refer to her as "mother" or "grandma."

She had four children and then took to her bed. From this outpost she ran the family with an iron hand. The eldest child was a girl, and she was grandma's CEO, while grandma was Chairman of the Board. She stayed in bed for, oh, forty years or so, and one day emerged to find she had a passel of grandchildren. This bucked her up no end and she spent many happy hours traveling from one of her children's households to the next, letting her daughters-in-law know what was what and how to do everything properly.


This grew old so grandma retired to the bed again. Her life was tragically cut short at the age of 82. The family always wondered if she would have lived longer if she had gotten some exercise.

Who's the office weirdo?

Maybe it's you.

Uranus does what?

Planet humor from libraryosis.

Family intrigue

It so happens that everyone in the paternal branch of my family is speaking to everyone else; this cannot last. It never does.

Resentments either fester underground or flourish as full-blown feuds.

We would rather not blame our own blood relatives, so we cordially hate those outsiders who had the unmitigated gall to marry into our family! They are troublemakers. But our own relatives must shoulder some of the blame: they forgot a birthday; did not send a thank-you note for a very thoughtful gift; did not invite so-and-so to a bat mitzvah; neglected to send a baby gift until the child was two years old; were in New York but did not even call. And so it goes.

This makes for a lot of resentful and/or stimulating e-mails among family members. I myself have managed to keep out of the fray and so can manage a detached attitude. Both sides of these quarrels send me copies of the insulting e-mails they send each other and appeal to my sense of justice--surely they were insulted! Neglected! Maligned!

Those of us who are not directly involved enjoy reading these vituperative missives. We find them a source of innocent merriment and e-mail each other about how unreasonable the participants are. It gives us something to talk about other than our troubles (we have plenty) our health (not good) and politics (we disagree violently). Thus family ties are strengthened.

Geoffrey Chaucer on April

WHAN that Aprille with his shoures soote
The droghte 2 of Marche hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt 4 and heeth
The tendre croppes, 5 and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne,
And smale fowles maken melodye,
That slepen al the night with open ye,

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

National poetry month

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1. my love is like a red red rose
That’s newly sprung in June
O my love is like a melodie
Thats sweetly play’d in tune
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in love am I
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.
2. Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear
Till a' the seas gang dry,
And I will love thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry,
3. Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear
And a’ the rocks melt wi' the sun,
And I will love thee still, my dear
While the sands o’ life shall run
And fare thee weel, my only love
And fare thee weel awhile !.
And I will come again, my love
Tho’ twere ten thousand mile
4. Tho' ‘twere ten thousand mile, my love
Tho' twere ten thousand mile,
And I will come again my love,
Tho' twere ten thousand mile

Sunday, April 02, 2006

I don't get it

Is bluetooth blue, and what does it have to do with a tooth, or teeth?

Saturday, April 01, 2006

Bill of non-rights

Democrats: are you listening?

From Hugh Hewitt's radio show, an interview with Michael Ware:

[O]ne has to be careful that as the Islamic army of Iraq reminded just last week on Al Jazeera, the insurgent groups study very closely everything that we hear, say and write. And given that we're within their grasp, one always must be diplomatic. Suffice to say, it's very hard to relate to the goals or tactics that the hard-line Islamists employ.


So why are members of the United States Senate saying things which encourage our enemies to keep fighting?

Just asking.

Forbidden shoe love

Grendel's Mom (great blog name, by the way, from Beowulf) covets shoes.

Loving your dentist

Almost fiction doesn't:

The dentist is the only doctor you visit feeling well and leaving in a state of pain. ItÂ’s like if you went in for your yearly physical and the physician punched you in the face and smashed your groin with a metal bat.


I used to love my dentist. I went every three months and enjoyed being told I had good oral hygiene and keep up the good work, including visiting him every three months. He gave me unlimited toothpaste, dental threaders, and dental floss. I figured I was saving money not having to buy these necessities.

On my last visit, there was a sea change. I had a toothache. Suddenly my mouth was in crisis, as the dentist and his partners looked into my mouth, took a sudden sharp breath, and shook their collective heads. In the six weeks since my last cleaning, my mouth had become a disaster zone, the oral equivalentt of New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. An emergency session of Congress would need to be called to deal with the catastrophe--or--I could have some really expensive work done.

Needless to say, I had dropped my dental insurance, due to the previously wonderful condition of my mouth, plus the fact that he had fixed every tooth I possessed two or three times. I figured, what else could happen? As it turned out, plenty. Now my gums and even my bones were involved. For all I know, the rot could have spread to my feet.

Mr Charm, by contrast, never went to the dentist, because his teeth didn't bother him. After ten dentist-free years, I forced him to get his teeth cleaned and evaluated. The verdict: his teeth were in splendid condition.

So now I know the secret of oral health: skip the dentist entirely. Buy your dental floss at the drugstore.

Also, keep your dental insurance.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Subtle distinctions in criminal behavior

Akaky doesn't get it:

The headline of today's dead tree edition of the Middletown (N.Y.) Times Herald Record reads, "Should Illegal Immigration Be A Crime," a statement that causes no end of cognitive dissonance among those of us with access to a dictionary, since it makes us all wonder if the word illegal has some shade of meaning that we've missed somehow. I was under the impression that illegal immigration was immigration in violation of the law, and that violating the law and illegality were more or less the same thing, and that both states were synonomous with committing a crime.

I just returned from Leftylooneyville...

also known as my family. They are smart people, truly. And nice. So how can they parrot "Bush lied"? Typical exchange:

Beloved relative I: Capitalism is inherently corrupt.

BR II: (Pained look) But what is there that's better?

BR I: Communism!

BR II: But--I mean, look at Russia...it didn't work for them, surely?

BR I: It's never been tried.

BR II: ? (Silence, look of disbelief)

This sort of thing is what I had to contend with, when the discussion turned to politics. In the hopes that other topics would be explored, I walked as through a minefield.

Some tenets of the creed:
Drug companies are greedy and bad.
The un-health-insured are many, all of them sick with potentially fatal diseases, and are being turned away daily from the life-saving treatment they need by hard-hearted capitalists, mainly George Bush.
More money is needed for public transportation, whether anyone wants it or not.
The environment is in imminent danger. We might wake up tomorrow to find we have been globally warmed to death. Or frozen by nuclear winter. Bad either way.
If the environment doesn't get us, the pollutants currently being poured into the rivers out of sheer spite by evil manufacturers will poison us all by September.
Hillary is pandering to the Christian right. Bad Hillary!
Bush should be impeached, censured, or at least sent to his room until he learns to behave.
The Iraqis were happier under good old Saddam Hussein.

Evil kitty placed under house arrest

From linda sog.

We're very picky about who we allow to be a citizen

Just because a guy is a marine serving in Iraq doesn't satisfy our fastidious bureaucrats:


George [the Marine] told the [call-in] show's host that the INS dolt who told him over the phone that his application forms were not filled out properly and she was 'following the letter of the law.'

Thank God for the integrity of public servants.

Christiane Amanpour does it again

According to the Ace,

I thought I’d make a brief analogy to explain why CNN correspondent Christiane Amanpour’s defense of Hamas’s recent election victory in the Palestinian Authority was intellectually dishonest, and completely repulsive. Amanpour makes the ridiculous argument that the Palestinians didn’t vote for Hamas because they were a terrorist group that was dedicated to wiping Israel off of the map, but because they were frustrated with how corrupt the ruling Fatah Party was, and because Hamas has built schools, and health clinics etc.


Plus ca change, plus le meme chose. The excuse for Mussolini was, he made the trains run on time. This totally excuses his being a fascist, imprisoning his political enemies, getting in bed with Hitler, etc.

As for Amanpour, the mere sound of her voice makes me break out in hives, but I guess people think she sounds dashingly European. My theory is that her real name is Christie Rafferty and hails from Bayonne, New Jersey, but I can't prove it.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Are you sitting down?

Of course you are, you wouldn't be reading this standing up at the computer, would you?

Okay, listen up. I am going away for a few days, lured by the bright lights of Broadway. Back Friday. See you soon.

I am posting this announcement because every time I stop blogging for three days, you all desert me. So this is a warning. Come back in April. Remember: we know who you are.

There she goes again...

about libraries:
But why are libraries necessary in this age of the internet and Google? Isn’t every scrap of information we could ever want soon going to be available online?

Well, all the things that the internet can’t provide are part of the essential experience of going to a library. First, there’s the place itself: a special place, dedicated to assembling knowledge and making it available....

A book is infinitely more comfortable and pleasant and informative than a screen. The very impress of the print on the paper is a valuable part of your experience of the book.
Libraries give us this physical engagement in a way that no Google ever will.

Thirdly, there’s the infinite value of browsing. You simply don’t know what you’ll find till you’re in front of a range of shelves full of books. Of course they say you can browse on the internet, but it isn’t really browsing; some system or algorithm has done the selecting for you. Much, much better to stand in front of a shelf of books and simply pick them up and look for yourself. You never know what you’ll find — and that’s exactly the point.

Fourthly, there’s the library staff. What helpfulness, what experience, what knowledge! Compared with a face-to-face conversation with a real live intelligent informed human being who knows the sort of thing you’re looking for and can suggest more ways than one of getting to it, the internet is like an automated answering service: ignorant, mechanical, inhuman, stupid, graceless and hugely frustrating. Long live librarians.

So libraries of every sort are treasure houses. I love them, I cherish them, I use them all the time, I could not bear to live in a society without them....

I’m on the side of everyone who uses libraries, from the little child looking through the picture books, to the scholar searching for hard-to-find knowledge, to the busy man or woman looking for something entertaining to read on the train, to the poor old vagrant who’s just come in to sit near the radiator on a winter’s day. The library is for all of us. Let’s look after it!

Ht to normblog.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Breast worship

In Japan.

NSFW.

I heart Yiddish

Yiddish is known as mamaloshen, meaning mother's talk--"the language we speak at home."In this case it was the home of my grandmother, whose first language it was. Either Yiddish is a language which lends itself to sarcasm or my grandmother was sarcastic. I suspect the latter. She had a tongue like a razor blade. Double edged.

Some samples:
"Gay mit der kopp in dererd und de fiss in klaishter" means approximately: go with your head in hell and your feet in church.

"A chalerya," an all-purpose curse that means you should catch cholera.

"Bahayma"=big clumsy oaf (literally behemoth).

"Vas daff min honeck ven dreck is ziss?" Why do you need honey when shit is sweet to you? (Said when a granddaughter was dating a loser.)

"Tsvay klugen und ein vugen." Klug is a plague and vugen is a wagon. It's not real good in English. It means two jerks who belong together. Think Bill and Hillary Clinton. Ward Churchill and Noam Chomsky. You get the idea.

" (Insert name here) is a mayven vie a chazer on hayven." A mayven is a judge, a chazer is a pig, and hayven are oats. Pigs are not good judges of oats. So (Insert name here) doesn't know what he/she is talking about.

Forgive my transliteration.

I've always felt it was my acquaintance with Yiddish which made me interested in learning languages.

Jacques Chirac threatens to take his toys and go home

if the other kids don't play nice:
…perhaps the most memorable moment in Brussels was when French President Chirac stormed out to protest a decision by fellow Frenchman Ernest-Antoine Seilliere, head of the European UNICE employers group, to speak English.

Original in Today online.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Was everything all right?

According to l is for law school, When a manager comes to your table to ask how everything is, it actually does make you feel better about the restaurant.

Oh, I don't know. My friend Betty and I once had breakfast in a Friendly's restaurant. When we paid the bill, the cashier asked, "Was everything all right?" Betty replied: "They cut the toast in half. It should be cut into triangles." An uncomfortable silence ensued, during which one patron pushed his face two inches from hers.

On the same trip (I don't know what's in the water around there), we went to a steak place. This time the manager came around and asked if everything was all right. I asked him for a butter knife. The knives we had were steak knives, and naturally enough, I had cut my steak with it. I wanted a butter knife to butter my bread. A clean knife, not covered with steak juice. He apologized and said they did not have butter knives, they were a chain and management didn't provide them.

So: yes, it makes you feel better when they ask if everything is all right, but only when everything is all right.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Confusion to our enemies

The New York Times loses readership.

The Palestinians know who their friends are

Terrorists spare BBC office.

A few days ago I wrote that during a rampage in Gaza, Palestinian terrorists took an Associated Press photographer into “protective custody” so that nothing would happen to them. Now Tom gross notes that the BBC office in Gaza was spared any destruction. It all goes to show that the Palestians understand that the AP and BBC (and others as well)are anti-Israeli news organizations doing their bidding. It’s not really in dispute anymore, since the Palestinians have proven it to be true.
Apparently, nothing can penetrate the academic mind, except a bullet:

One clueless idiot says he feels sorry for the scum who snatched him.

The American professor, Douglas Johnson, said he was unharmed and understood his abductors' actions.

"They are angry over what is going on in Jericho. I feel sympathy with them," he told an AP reporter at an abandoned cemetery, where he was briefly held before being freed.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A message from the lovers of peace, Christian division

to the warmongers (that's us):

The 3 CPT members were held by patriotic Iraqis whom we sympathize with. These poor souls were so distressed by the occupation of their country and they had no other way to voice their opinion except by kidnapping hostages and chopping their heads off. They have done so in the most humane way.

“They killed Tom Fox because they wanted to tell the world that they wanted hospitals, schools, and Starbucks in the Sunni areas. We fully understand what motivated them to do so” said CPT head Dough Pritchard. “Nobody asked the occupation forces to free our members”.


Courtesy of sandmonkey.

Romance in the ancient world, Arab style

From protein wisdom.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

What Bush should have said

according to Buckley. Read the whole thing, it's hilarious. A sample:

"Jesse Jackson is to helping black people what Ted Kennedy is to helping drowning victims."

"And although I have a great deal of personal affinity for Charlie Rangel, the fact that I have personally seen him arguing with a Snicker's bar on several occasion needs to be made public."

Babes and Boobs

From tinkertytonk, this news flash:


Joan Acocella reviews The Playmate Book: Six Decades of Centerfolds by Gretchen Edgren. Two things (heh) stand out when looking through the pictures of pinups past: The girl-next-door face and the enormous breasts.


What is the fascination with gigantic breasts about? Were all the men in America weaned too soon? Or what?

Aside from the dubious advantage of having men stare at your chest when you are talking to them, rather than look you in the eye, why do women want to have bigger breasts? Take it from one who knows, ownership of these, ah, items is strictly a mixed blessing. For one thing, you can't just go to Victoria's Secret and buy some of those sweet little nothings adorned with lace. The bras they have for women with serious boobs are the heavy industrial kind, with more rigging than a suspension bridge. The idea is to push them up until they reach your shoulderblades, and then flatten them out.

In order to get a bra that fits and looks okay, not nice but okay is to go to a place where they measure you and fit you properly. Unfortunately the only bras they sell in those places cost $65 and up.

Student loans are a great investment

especially when you have a Congressman in your pocket:

Duke Cunningham, the former American fighter ace and national hero, landed on CHANCE and drew the dreaded GO TO JAIL card this past Friday for admitting that he broke the rules related to acceptance of gifts from companies looking for congressional favoritism. In this case, what he did was correctly labeled as bribery.

Meanwhile, Kevin Madden, Tom DeLay's former communication director, who moved over to John Boehner's office after DeLay was indicted, was quoted by the Cincinnati Post last Friday as saying that the heavy criticism Boehner has received since he became House Majority Leader is correctly labeled as "frivolous."

See if you agree.

One of the areas where Boehner has taken the most criticism are his "fact finding" trips aboard private jets of companies that had business before his House Education and Workforce Committee.

And among his favorite "fact-finding" trips were the Boca Raton golf junkets sponsored by Al Lord, the Chairman of Sallie Mae, which is far and away the nation's largest holder of student loans.

Boehner has adamantly defended these types of trips, saying, "Lawmakers must be able to see what's going on around the country first hand," but everyone knows that the only fact about Boca Raton that's unknown at the beginning of these trips is who's going to shoot the lowest golf round after the plane lands.

But, that's how Boehner keeps up his tan, and getting him there is how Sallie Mae keeps up its profits.

Not sure what to make of all this yet? Then keep reading.

Al Lord is building his own private golf course and trying to buy a professional baseball team with his share of the profits, a good part of which can be traced back to the high margins resulting from the restriction-of-trade laws that have dogged the student loan industry for decades.

In fact, Sallie Mae's margins are so high, Fortune Magazine recently dubbed them as America's second most profitable company.

And the situation, according to the Free Market News, is going to get worse because when the newly passed laws affecting student loans go into effect this July, there will be far less competition than ever before.

Even before the latest legislative changes, student loans were already subject to one of the most anti-competitive laws on the nation's books. It's known as the "Single Holder Rule", which says that students and parents whose loans are owned by one lender cannot shop around for the best terms when they consolidate their loans.

For those not familiar with higher education matters, students and parents consolidate college loans for the same reasons homeowners refinance their mortgages -- to take advantage of low fixed rates and to lower monthly payments to a more affordable level.

But under the new laws, the vast majority of students and parents who have already consolidated, or do so in the future, will be legally barred from ever refinancing again, no matter what other lender later offers a lower rate.

Many would think it impossible that Sallie Mae could have pulled this off, especially under a Republican Congress that claims to support free trade. But think again -- it's the new law of the land.

Make no mistake about it; this is completely different from the Cunningham situation. In this case, no one's going to jail because everyone involved has followed the rules Congress set down.

But that doesn't make the rules right.

National columnists like Terry Savage, Dick Morris and Froma Harrop are calling the anti-refinancing scheme a rip off, shameful or abusive. The San Diego Union Tribune reported that Duncan Hunter (R-Ca), Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, plans to propose a rule requiring the House Ethics Committee to verify that each privately funded trip that congressional lawmakers take is a genuine fact-finding mission, not a junket designed to win favor.

If Congress actually passes that rule, there may be less favoritism going forward, but that is not going to reverse the special interest legislation already on the books. Reduced competition will mean higher interest rates, and higher interest rates will result in students and parents having to pay billions of dollars more than an open market would dictate.

The cost of college is simply too high to allow Sallie Mae to keep collecting excess profits every time around the board.

Cunningham draws Monopoly's GO TO JAIL CARD - but Sallie Mae is still landing on FREE PARKING.


You former students out there--did you know that Sallie Mae was a private company established by Congress to get rich off those student loans you are struggling to pay off?

To learn more, visit studentloanjustice.org.

The triumph of common sense

From the Telegraph:


At last, the Law Lords have injected some sanity into the case of Shabina Begum, the Bedfordshire schoolgirl who had insisted when she was 15 that it was her "human right" to defy her school's dress code by covering herself from head to toe in the full Islamic jilbab.

Yesterday, they overturned a ruling by the Appeal Court that Denbigh High School in Luton had broken the law by insisting that she should wear the tunic and trousers of the shalwar kameez instead....
Every word of the Law Lords' ruling yesterday rang with religious tolerance and common sense. The school, said Lord Bingham, had taken "immense pains" to devise a dress code that respected Muslim beliefs "in an inclusive, unthreatening and uncompetitive way".

Lord Hoffman made an excellent point, too, when he said that there had been nothing to stop Shabina from going to a single-sex school, or to one that permitted the jilbab. To change schools might not have been entirely convenient for her, he said, "but people sometimes have to suffer some inconvenience for their beliefs".

Increasing productivity in academia

Can it be done? Sample quote:

In real life, when I'm looking through job applications, I'm struck at how many people have degrees in some soft science, and drifted down and out, through internships and other tangental employment in their field, into the retail world. So many newly minted sociology majors are folding sweaters at The Gap eight years later. (Helpful hint: "If an academic discipline has the word "science" in its title, it isn't a science.")

Toilet of my dreams

Or maybe not.

Would you, could you, use it?

Courtesy of meshugganah mommy.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

A 21st century online romance

that ends badly.

You don't bring me flowers

My readership has more than doubled, from miserable to not so bad, considering. But--my readers seem to be the strong silent type. (Mostly.) So I figure I need a short public opinion poll to suss out the minds of the Great American Public, just like the politicians. I have accordingly prepared a short questionnaire. Just answer yes or no:

1. I like your blog but have nothing to say.

2. I am sick of reading about your stupid friends and relatives.

3. Enough about libraries already--give it a rest.

4. Quit talking about New Jersey. Oh yes, and forget about the baked ziti.

5. I am sick of your rants about Jimmy Carter--a great president and a fine, peace-loving man.

There now, that wasn't so difficult, was it?

If I don't get any answers, I am afraid I will have to go out in the garden and eat worms. And if that doesn't work, I'll hold my breath until I turn blue.

So comment.

The I-Hate-Jimmy-Carter Club

has plenty of members:

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” quite naturally detest Jimmy Carter, the worst president of the 20th century. On occasion, we feel mildly bad about despising him so much. After all, he has spent an awful lot of time helping Habitat for Humanity, which is surely a noble cause.

Yet just when we start to feel as if we’ve given President Carter a bad rap, he ostentatiously pushes himself back into the political spotlight by making some asinine speech or coming to some moronic conclusion. And then we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” begin to believe that we didn’t sufficiently loathe this peanut-farming dipstick.


There are people who like JC, like some friends of ours who saw a laudatory Bill Moyers program devoted to this loathesome psalm-singing egomaniac.

I personally hold him responsible for 9/11. His bungling of the Iran hostage crisis gave aid and comfort to our enemies. He also brokered the deal which gave North Korea nukes.

And I'd be willing to bet that any nails he hammers for Habitat for Humanity are hammered in all crooked.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Memories of my uncle

My father's older brother has died at age 97. It was no surprise to anyone, as lately he has been at death's door so often they gave him his own key.

He was an old reprobate, who, as my father says, broke every rule twice. He did exactly as he pleased for most of his life, until he became too feeble.

He and my father were religious skeptics, to say the least, although their father was a rabbi. So I was surprised when my cousin (his daughter) called to ask if she could distribute his ashes on a Saturday. In my father's family I am considered the expert on things Judaic, I guess because there are rumors that I fast on Yom Kippur.

I didn't think he would have cared, but she told me that he would not let her get married on a Saturday. The family decided to scatter the ashes on Sunday morning and sit shiva lite on Sunday. It's funny how remnants of religous practice and belief cling to people. Or how people cling to them. My father once complained that everyone in his senior housing development was Christian and Republican.

The real religion in that family is leftyism, Jewish style. As Christians believe in the Virgin Birth, so they believe that Sacco and Vanzetti were innocent and Alger Hiss was framed. George W Bush is a devil in this cosmogeny, and FDR is their Mohammed. They have no interest in the actual facts of the case, any case, but believe with the guilelessness of children. And so it is in the whole family, root and branch, except me. All dues-paying members of the ACLU, except I don't think they send a check to the organization, except rarely.

I have to stress that the members of my family are really nice, good, intelligent people. But religion is religion. Faith to them is the evidence of things unseen. This secular faith doesn't prevent them from having all their offspring bar or bat mitzvah. My sister-in-law, on her deathbed, made her husband promise that he would have their son bar mitzvahed. She was as big a skeptic as the rest of them.

There is also an occasional Seder when all the family can get together, but they don't bother not to eat bread during Passover.

And people think the Orthodox are wacky.

Check out the Best of Me Symphony, 101, just posted

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Church songs for the lukewarm

From little miss attila, songs for those who don't believe in much but don't mind giving up an hour of golf on the occasional Sunday:

- Praise God from Whom All Affirmations Flow
— Amazing Grace, How Interesting the Sound
— Be Thou My Hobby
— O God, Our Enabler in Ages Past
— Blest Be the Tie That Doesn't Cramp My Style


Read it.

Nude Blogging Part Deux

15 Minute Lunch objects to this.

Even more shocking news

Court officials in Texas are as stupid and nasty as the ones in New Jersey. Dave gets a ticket and tries to straighten out the mess. $600 and $420 later, he is a free (but poorer) man.

Is the lesson of this to be a good little boy and make sure you renew your car registration and follow up to make sure the court got your check? Or is it that the greed of local government which substantially underwrites its costs with exorbitant fees for traffic fines is out of control? Or maybe I'm just a cranky middle-aged dude who should pay his fines and be glad government isn't oppressing him even more. Better that than the granny on social security who loses her apartment because she gets a ticket.

Can we revive these library rules?

From love the library:

No person shall be admitted who is in a state of intoxication, or is uncleanly in person or attire; nor shall any audible conversation be permitted in the Rooms.

More shocking news

An article in the San Francisco Chronicle relays the astonishing news from the New England Journal of Medicine:

Blacks and Hispanics tend to receive slightly better day-to-day medical care than whites when they see a doctor, a large and surprising study has found, starting a new debate about the impact of race on health in America.

The study, the most comprehensive examination of the quality of primary care in the United States, found no significant differences among patients from different ethnic groups or incomes once they get to see a doctor, but a slight trend toward better care for blacks and Hispanics.

The researchers stressed, however, that other disparities in health care do exist. Poor people and minorities, for example, are less likely to see a doctor in the first place and get far less expensive care. In addition, the minor variations among racial groups found in the new study are swamped by the low level of care everyone gets, they said.

"The bottom line of this study is patients are getting about half of recommended care, and it doesn't seem to matter where you live, whether you are white, black or Hispanic, are insured or uninsured," said Steven Asch, who helped conduct the study for the Rand Corp. "Everyone is at equal risk for poor quality of care."


Gosh--now I feel better--we're all in the dumper, together.

From Ace of trumps.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Shocking news

Our troops want to go home!

The U.S. government is reeling from the alarming results of a Zogby Poll that could change the very course of the war in Iraq.

According to the poll, 72% of troops currently stationed in Iraq would like to leave in the next year. In other words, U.S. troops shockingly want to return to their families from a foreign land where they dine on sand-encrusted rations and are targeted for agonizing, slow death by suicidal Islamic fundamentalists.

“I’m speechless,” said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. “Are they sure about the results? Our troops want only one more year of death lurking around every corner? Just 12 months of picking up pieces of blown-up Iraqis? How can this be?”....

The poll results run counter to polls conducted during other wars in U.S. history. For instance, during World War I, 84% of US soldiers “found the maze-like trenches of France a fun place to frolic,” and 78% “enjoyed starting the day with an invigorating round of hand to hand combat.”

Similarly, during World War II, 87% of US Troops “felt jipped that they weren’t on the Bataan Death March,” and 94% were “curious about what a German POW camp would be like.”

Clearly, the US military has some issues to address going forward.

In related news, 94% of firemen said that they did not enjoy having their flesh burned, and 84% of moms said that childbirth was "a bit uncomfortable."

Don't use stupid acronyms

From Tan:

Dear people who use the term ROTFLMAO,

What the f*** are you talking about?!!? I don’t get it. People don’t really say “rolling on the floor laughing my ass off” in actual conversation. So why do you have to shoehorn this waste of eight letters into our messaging and e-mails? It’s not even a good acronym. It’s not clever. It doesn’t spell anything. And it’s not even that short, ROTFLMAO is longer than most standard good-size words. It’s almost as long as the word “eucalyptus.” And no one wants to write that out. It’s as long as “laughing,” and longer than writing the word “funny.” Which is the point here, right? I can only presume you're trying to express your amusement, and the whole rolling on the floor and ass falling off is for “dramatic effect.” Correct me if I’m wrong.

And really, rolling on the floor? Laughing my ass off? What is the imagery we have going here? Has that ever happened at any time in the history of the universe? Someone rolling on the floor laughing, and their ass falls off? I don’t think so.... It’d be like “YO SON! Don’t tell that joke again, the last time you said it someone rolled on the floor and laughed his ass off. There was blood and not-yet-congealed shit everywhere. It was fucking nasty. I’m not down with that. Just tell the regular old funny ha-ha jokes.”


I heartily concur. Also, let's not hear any more about spitting soda on monitors or, shall we say, wetting your underwear? Kindly keep your gross physical activities to yourselves.

P.S. Have you seen a doctor about these symptoms?

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Robert Scott, flying ace, RIP

Robert Scott, an American air ace of World War II, has died, according to the Telegraph.
Brigadier General Robert Scott, who has died aged 97, became an "ace" fighter pilot flying alongside RAF squadrons in Burma against the Japanese in 1942, an experience that he recorded in his classic wartime memoir God is my Co-Pilot; a film of the same name, starring Dennis Morgan as Scott, was released in 1945.

Scott was a flying instructor in California when the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor in December 1941. He immediately volunteered for active duty but, at the age of 34, he was deemed too old.

Eventually, falsely claiming that he had flown a B-17 bomber, he managed to be assigned to a bomber force due to make a top-secret raid on Tokyo.

When the operation was cancelled he was in Karachi and was soon appointed operations officer for the Assam-Burma-China Ferry Command, flying supplies across the Himalayas to, among others, General Claire Chennault and his American Volunteer Group (AVG), better known as the "Flying Tigers", who operated in support of Nationalist Chinese forces.

Scott struck up a close friendship with Chennault, and persuaded him to lend him a P-40 Warhawk fighter, supposedly to protect the ferry route from attack. Scott operated over northern Burma and in the defence of Rangoon, the vital port for supplies to China.

In this fighter, which he called Old Exterminator, he carried out many ground-attack sorties against the advancing Japanese army and was soon in combat with enemy fighters: within a few weeks he had destroyed eight.

After the Japanese had occupied Burma, Scott and his pilots continued the fight in western China. The RAF air commander was full of praise for the AVG pilots, commenting: "Their gallantry in action won the admiration of both services."

When the Flying Tigers were disbanded in July 1942 and absorbed into the USAAF, Scott was appointed to command them with the 23rd Fighter Group of the China Air Task Force. By February 1943 he had been credited with destroying 13 aircraft - the authorities would not confirm a further nine probables because his aircraft did not carry a gun camera.

His successes made him one of the first US air "aces" of the war. The enemy placed a reward on Scott's head and he became known as the "one-man air force". After flying 388 combat missions, he returned to the United States....

After his service in China in 1942-43, Scott toured the United States to help sell war bonds before becoming the deputy for operations at the School of Applied Tactics at Orlando, Florida. He returned to China in 1944 to fly rocket-firing fighter-bombers in attacks on rail yards and re-supply lines.

The next year he went to Okinawa to fly similar operations against enemy shipping and remained there until the end of the war. Scott was awarded two Silver Stars, three DFCs and three Air Medals....

....
In October 1957 Scott retired, becoming a prolific writer on aviation subjects; his books included The Day I Owned the Sky and Flying Tiger: Chennault of China. He also lectured widely. In 1980, at the age of 72, he spent 93 days walking and riding a camel along the entire 2,000-mile length of the Great Wall of China.

In 1986 Scott returned to Georgia, ... and immediately became involved in the building and establishment of the Museum of Aviation at Robins Air Base, south of Atlanta. He continued to fly, and on his 88th birthday he flew in a F-15 Eagle fighter and a year later in the B-1 Lancer bomber.

Scott remained very active until the end of his life. In 1996, at the age of 88, he ran with the Olympic torch along a section of Georgia Highway 247 named in his honour.

ACLU leadership also forgets tin hat

Freedom loving Muslim elected to ACLU Florida Board.

Another Baldwin brother goes outdoors without his tin hat

Ever heard of Stephen?

Neither have I.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Thrifty people

We have some very, very dear friends who are, um, thrifty. Their apartment in New York City was not air-conditioned, not because they couldn't get air-conditioning, but because of the cost. We considered air-conditioning, in New York, as about as necessary as running water.

H, the male half of this pair, brought his old shirts on vacation in Europe and threw away a different one a day. He was an accountant and had to wear a suit to work, but no-one said it had to be a good suit. He bought his suits at the 3 for $99 suit store, and dressed like a race-track tout.

Do I have to tell you that clipping coupons was a religion to these people, and that they used the special offers we all get in the mail? They sent in their rebate forms, including the register receipt and bar code, promptly, and wrote angry letters to the company if the rebate check was too slow in coming.

The high, or low, point of their frugal career came when H was thrown out of Burger King for bringing his own soda.

They are now retired, world travelers, and drive a Lexus.

We had air conditioning and paid for soda at Burger King, and drive a Ford.

Invasion of the Summer people

At this time of year the Summer people start to invade. You know who I mean--the guys in t-shirts and shorts when everyone else is at least wearing a jacket. Ladies with their belly-buttons (and everything else) showing. Their numbers increase slowly.
The Winter people, meanwhile, go about their business in ski-jackets, gloves, scarves wrapped around their fragile throats, and heavy gloves. For a while, there is a mix, people dressed as Eskimos vs. those dressed as South Seas Islanders. Gradually, without a shot being fired, the Summer people drive out the Winter people, except for a hardly few who still war their hats, scarves, and turtlenecks.

In the Fall, the process reverses itself. On the first day when the thermometer falls below 60, the Winter People are out in full array, wool hats pulled snugly down to their eyebrows. The Summer people are in the majority, but are clearly on the run.

The Rain people carry an umbrella even if the rains has been stopped for half an hour, or if there is a light mist. The un-Rain people don't consider anything short of a downpour as rain. They leave their umbrellas back in the car because it's not really rain, just a little drizzle. In England, where it is usually raining at least a little, the contrast is most noticeable. If everyone is carrying an (open)umbrella, you know it is a gale force hurricane.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

The big rock candy mountain lives!

Kitchen faucet pours beer!
"We had settled down for a cozy Saturday evening, had a nice dinner, and I was just going to clean up a little," Gundersen, 50, told The Associated Press by telephone Monday. "I turned on the kitchen faucet and beer came out."

Ht to ace of trumps.

Weird bur funny blog of the day (month, year)

Muhammad and me is one of a kind. Be sure to read the comments. Especially those that threaten death to the cartoonist.

Deja vu all over again.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Simple rules for leading the crunchy con lifestyle

Contra-Crunchy gives instructions:

Thinking about buying a washing machine? Try washing your clothes in the river like your great-great grandmother and countless generations before her! Imagine the conviviality.
Read the whole thing.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Taking hate crimes seriously

The Trouser Quandary discusses new approaches to handling hate crimes:

With the burgeoning number of 'hate-crimes' seemingly always on the increase any form of abuse from sexual, racial or religious right up to the several new laws the government have outlined outlawing such things as ageism, size-ism, smell-ism, hairstyle-ism, looking-a-bit-funny-ism, soft-southern-poof-ism and many more such hateful acts, it seems the need for some new police response is now overwhelming....
Henceforth, not only will a squad of highly trained anti-personal abuse officers be sent to track down the perpetrators of the abuse, the police will also - on receiving a hotline call - dispatch a specially-trained team of personal self-esteem counsellors to try to boost the shattered self-esteem of the victim. "It is important that the feelings of the victim are recognised and sensitively dealt with," said yet another Chief Constable from somewhere probably a long way away from London. "Especially with the chance that the police could end up facing law suits ourselves. So we have instigated a scheme where any victim of a self-esteem attack can call on 24-hour support in case of sudden self-doubt, depression or, even, 'just feeling a bit sad and tearful, really.'"
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Saturday, March 11, 2006

My worst employees

Everyone is blogging up a storm about--their worst, craziest, etc,--employers. Believe me, being the employer is no bed of roses. Here are some of the people I had to deal with:

Fred, the janitor, who used to come in to lock up the library, and ostensibly to clean. By the time we had circled the block, he was out the back door and headed to the bars on Main Street. Fred was subtle; he would leave a rag in a conspicuous place so we would know he had dusted. Fred also had a proprietary attitude toward the trash--he didn't like it if you put anything sizable in the trash can. The staff would hardly ever put anything bigger than a staple in the trash can, so as not to incur the wrath of Fred. When it snowed, Fred was nowhere to be found, neither was our snowblower. Fred was out cleaning other people's walks with our snowblower. For extra money. We had to wait our turn. He was a civil servant, so I couldn't get rid of him. But I could eliminate his job and hire a cleaning service.

Maureen, who used to come in at eight, sign in, and to have her coffee with the other staff, who came in at eight but signed in at nine. She would then skip her lunch and breaks and leave at three o'clock, just when the schoolkids came in and the library was busy. When I called Maureen in to my office to ask why she had not done something, she informed me that I couldn't just tell her what to do; I had to earn her loyalty. Maureen earned her library degree on our dime. She set her schedule to conform with her classes and did homework at her desk. If by any chance she had to get up to help someone, she heaved an exasperated sigh and cast her eyes heavenward. What happened to her? Someone else hired her.

Kris, who came from some persecuted ethnic group like Latka Gravis. The trouble was partly because she used Latka Gravatian at home and hung out with fellow Gravatians, so her English was a little rusty when she did her job, which was reference librarian, for God's sake. K would work if I held a gun to her head, but if I put the gun down she would stop. She sat at her desk reading romance novels and telling anyone who asked her anything that we didn't have it in the library. As awful as she was, she was a warm body and when she took an impromptu vacation I had to take her Saturday!. She finally decided to retire.

Then there was Eddie, the head of circulation who never got to work on time and used to disappear. The children's librarian got the fright of her life when she entered the auditorium and found Eddie sleeping on one of the tables. Eddie was still provisional, so I fired him. It is never fun to fire anyone, but it wasn't too hard in Eddie's case.

These people were at different libraries at different times in my checkered career. Most of the people I worked with were sweethearts who worked hard and were devoted to the patrons and the library. I thanked my lucky stars for them. But, unfortunately, 80 percent of your time is devoted to the problem workers and only 20 percent to everything else.

Swedish sensitivity at work

The Al Jauhara Network: Live from Infidelphia!: Swedish Cops are Suffering from Stockholm Syndrome

The good news--someone stands up for free speech--

The bad news--it's not the US government, but Puerto Rico:

While Cuba played the Netherlands in the World Baseball Classic, a spectator in the stands raised a sign saying: "Down with Fidel," sparking an international incident that escalated Friday with the velocity of a major league fastball.

The image of the man holding the sign behind home plate was beamed live Thursday night to millions of TV viewers _ including those in Cuba. The top Cuban official at the game at Hiram Bithorn Stadium in San Juan rushed to confront the man....

Much to the shock of the Cuban:

Puerto Rican police quickly intervened and took the Cuban official - Angel Iglesias, vice president of Cuba's National Institute of Sports - to a nearby police station, where they lectured him about free speech.

"We explained to him that here the constitutional right to free expression exists and that it is not a crime," police Col. Adalberto Mercado was quoted as saying in El Nuevo Dia, a San Juan daily.

Iglesias must have thought he was still in Cuba.


From Breitbart/ap.

Too bad the federal government is too busy snuggling up to the religion of peace to stand up for the right of free speech.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Some cosmic questions

Johnny Virgil poses some tough questions. Among them:

Why do old people drive so slow? You'd think they'd be in more of a hurry to get everywhere since they don't have much time left.


In my opinion, those old guys with the hats were once young speed demons who ran up lots of speeding tickets. They drive slow now because they are aiming for a lifetime average of 55 mph.

The good news about army deserters...

dressed up as bad news:

If you read USA Today's front page story entitled "8,000 desert during Iraq war," make sure you read the much smaller subtitle of "But overall desertions have fallen since 9/11" and the end of the article which discloses these interesting facts:

(1) In fiscal year 2001 (which ended September 30, 2001), there were 7,978 desertions from the Army, Navy and Air Force. In fiscal 2005 (ending September 30, 2005) there were 3,456. I'm no math wiz, but that's a 50% drop in desertions since the September 11 attacks.

(2) Fiscal 2004 and Fiscal 2005 saw a total of about 8,000 desertions (the 8,000 in the title of the article). Again, I'm no math wiz, but it seems that this 2 year total was essentially the same as the number of deserters in 2001.

(3) The overall desertion rate is 0.24% of the 1.4 million U.S. forces. I'm sure Wal-Mart, General Motors and pretty much ever other large American company has more than 0.24% of their workforce leave one day never to return.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Men love leather

To the Pattersons: (a golden oldie from my archives

I hope you read this. Your phone number must be very similar to ours, because we have been receiving your calls for quite a while. When I am home, I can set them straight, but sometimes my voicemail kicks in. SO, in case you are a blog aficionado, I have some messages for you:

1. Your contractor called with the estimate you requested for the addition to your home;
2. Eleanor (Ruth's sister) says she will be there Saturday night, thanks you for inviting her, and reminds you she is Ruth's sister;
3. Your glasses are ready;
4. Your prescription is ready;
5. It's time for your six-months dental check-up;
6. Your Aunt Mary is upset that you never return her calls. She's left three messages and is very angry--she can easily change her will, you know;
7. You need a new phone number.

The world's daintiest meal

Many years ago, we were invited to dinner by a young couple. He was a graduate student, as was my husband, so we didn't expect much. And we didn't get much, but it was oh so elegant.

For the four of us, our hostess provided a four-egg souffle, accompanied by an itty-bitty green salad and one dinner roll each. Dessert consisted of a half canned pear each, tastefully garnished by four dried cranberries.

After the feast, the male half of the conspiracy trundled out a tea cart laden with a stupefying collection of liqueurs: they had more flavors than Life Savers. I had a banana one and my husband had, I don't know, eye of newt? We gulped these down, pleaded exhaustion, thanked our hosts, and got the hell out of there.

On the way to the subway we passed a Wolfie's restaurant. For those who don't know, Wolfie's served the kind of food that has killed more Jews than Hitler. In a state of hunger-induced trance, we entered, and were restored to sanity by hot pastrami sandwiches and beer.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Congress panders to ignorance and prejudice

From the Telegraph, the hypocrisy and general know-nothingness of our elected representatives:

Both Democrats and Republicans are seeking to prevent Dubai Ports World from taking control of container terminals in New York, Newark, New Orleans, Baltimore, Miami and Philadelphia. The state-owned operator would assume leases previously held by Britain's P&O, which it has bought for £3.9 billion.

The case against the Dubai company is that it is part of the Muslim world, the chief source of global terror. This crude piece of chauvinism fails to distinguish between a hostile Islamic state, such as Iran, and one that is a staunch ally of Washington in a strategically crucial region.

Through tourism, transport and business, Dubai is preparing for the day when its oil runs out. Such foresight should be welcomed, not penalised. To block DP World from inheriting P&O assets in the six ports would be highly damaging to America's reputation in a region where it needs all the friends it can get.

Such strategic considerations cut little ice with the likes of Republican House Appropriations chairman Jerry Lewis and Democratic Senator Hillary Clinton, both of whom are seeking re-election in November.


The country's best interests matter little to these cynical, totally unserious politicians.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Bears loved Mr Treadwell...

so much they ate him.

Treadwell was a self declared “gentle warrior” protecting the bears from poaching. He got his hands on the money to continue his self promotion through fundraisers and campaigns where he told the celebrities and other contributors he was certain the bears would be killed by poachers without his protection. ...
Alaskan wildlife expert Tom Smith (a biologist at the Alaska Science Center) says that sporadic poaching in the wildlife preserves isn’t much of a problem and doesn’t pose a credible threat to Alaska’s population of 35,000 brown bears. As a matter of fact, the bears aren’t listed as an endangered species in Alaska. Most of the bears killed by humans in the wildlife parks of Alaska are killed by park rangers and other officials for being too confrontational or familiar with humans. According to the park service, bears become this way when they overcome their natural fear of humans because of too much human contact. In other words, people feed or interact with the bears, therefore the bears look at people as not a threat or a source of food, therefore the bears seek out dangerous human contact and the rangers have to shoot them. So, by singing to bears, reading them stories, giving them names (like Squiggle, Czar, Buttercup and Mr. Chocolate) and “playing” with them, this self proclaimed bear “protector” could have easily been the reason for bears getting shot by rangers. The only thing this guy was a protector of was his own ego and desire for fame. Chuck Bartlebaugh, Missoula, Montana resident and director of the national safety campaign, Be Bear Aware, told the Anchorage, Alaska newspaper that he was deeply concerned about the example Treadwell was demonstrating: "We have a trail of dead people and dead bears because of this trend that says, 'Let's show it's not dangerous.’” Tim Smith agreed with the statement, saying "Bears are not people, or even remotely like people, bears are bears, and the sooner we treat them as bears instead of humans in a bear suit it will be less dangerous for both the bears and the people." On camera, Treadwell dismissed the dangerous nature of the bears with quips like “…they won’t eat me…they think I’m another bear… they know I’m their protector and they love me…” ....
Regarding the whole getting eat up by a bear thing, that had to suck. ...


My final thoughts on the subject are this: the guy was seeking fame and he achieved it at a very high price. His hubris is to be admonished, not glorified. Some of his defenders claim that getting ate up by the bears was the “…culmination of his life’s work.” Biologist Tom Smith asks "If you consider yourself a friend to bears, and want to project a positive image about them, how is getting two bears and yourself and your girlfriend killed a culmination of your life's work?” I can’t think of anything that expresses my sentiments more accurately.

_________________________________________________________________

Doctor wanted, psychic preferred

Mr. Charm employs the strong, silent approach to doctors. He presents the body for inspection, and the doctor is supposed to intuit what, if anything, is wrong with him. If the MD really knows his stuff, he should be able to figure out what is wrong.

Of course, he never goes to the doctor if he actually feels bad. Every winter he has what he refers to as "this cold," as in "I wish this cold would go away," or, "Boy, am I tired of this cold." "This cold," as opposed to your common or garden variety of sniffles, is the Godzilla of respiratory infections. It lasts 8-10 weeks.

He obviously has allergies; he coughs and sneezes frequently, and often scores a Zyrtec from my stash. I asked him why he doesn't ask the doctor to give him Zyrtec; he says there is nothing wrong with him. Anyway, he can use my Zyrtec.

Also, he frequently complains (to me) that he aches all over. When I ask if he ever mentioned this to the doctor, he of course says no. He has diagnosed himself with a hopeless case of arthritis, totally irreversible and unresponsive to medical intervention. Why bother the doctor when the case is hopeless?

He once had a problem with his ear, and went to an ear doctor, who cleaned out his ears and told him he needed a hearing aid. Needless to say, he gave that doctor a wide berth from then on. The man was obviously a trouble-maker in league with the hearing aid-industrial complex and doing their evil bidding.

It was the same story when he started to need reading glasses; there was nothing wrong with his eyes, it was just too dark in the restaurant to read the menu. Any restaurant, any menu. After a couple of years of this, he got reading glasses.

And so it goes.

Vicar resigns; cannot forgive her daughter's murderers

How refreshingly honest of her.

The Rev Julie Nicholson said she was having difficulty reconciling her feelings over her daughter's death with her role as a priest at St Aidan Church in the St George area of Bristol.

Jenny Nicholson, 24, who lived with her boyfriend in Reading, Berkshire, died in the explosion at Edgware Road Tube station.

Mrs Nicholson today admitted she was struggling to forgive the men who murdered her daughter - and intended to step down from her position as a parish priest.

"It's very difficult for me to stand behind an altar and celebrate the Eucharist Communion and lead people in words of peace and reconciliation and forgiveness when you feel very far from that myself," she told the BBC's Inside Out programme.


Our prayers are with her.

Condi Rice kicks butt

From Chainik hocker:

Hugo Chavez’s body was recovered from the trunk of an abandoned 1989 Crown Victoria in Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, this morning. It was not immediately clear how the 51-year-old Venezuelan president died, or what he was doing in Brooklyn.

Lt. Irish McStereotype, head of the NYPD’s Brooklyn North Homicide Task Force, stated that President Chavez’s body was “riddled with buckshot”, but said that this was not the cause of death. He did say that a note was attached to the body. Sources within the Department tell us that the note read “Don’t call me ‘girl’”. “Dead Eye” Dick Cheney, Vice President of a prominent country, was being held for questioning at the 81st Precinct, but Lt. McStereotype refuse to name him as a suspect.

President Chavez had been in the news recently after a provocative speech in which he said, addressing US Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice, in which he said in part “Don't mess with me Condoleezza. Don't mess with me, girl.” ...

At an unrelated briefing last night, the press questioned Secretary Rice about Vice President Cheney’s possible involvement in a homicide so soon after the “hunting accident” that left a Houston trial lawyer in the hospital. Dr. Rice responded “Cheney? That old white man couldn’t kill Chavez even if he got all his Secret Service homeboys to help. I killed that crazy Mexican myself. I even left a note. Da-yum, you reporters be stupid. Cheney? Probably have hisself a heart attack, he ever tried killin some fool Mexican.” When a reporter pointed out that Chavez had been Venezuelan, Secretary Rice began pistol-whipping him.

The press briefing broke up soon after that.


Very un-PC--but funny--read the whole thing.

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Weather report

In California, 60 degree temperatures are a signal to bundle up, in a turtleneck shirt, sweater, jacket and gloves. In Delaware, 60 is considered boiling hot and the natives wear shorts and short-sleeve t-shirts.

Some of the Californians I know truly believe that there is no need for air-conditioning. Well, they admit, a few days (read three months) are over 90, but the nights are cool. These folks are spending $100,000 for a driveway, so it's not a question of money.

I love air-conditioning. We didn't have it when I was growing up in Ohio, and we used to sleep outside on a blanket, sneaking into the house in the early morning. Or else we went to the movies, which were cooled to about 60, maybe 65. Old people got hypothermia in the movies, but they didn't care. When you came out of the movies, you were immediately covered with sweat. So you tried the other remedy. You ate ice cream or drank soda or lemonade or beer. While this did not change the temperature, it tasted good and made you forget the heat. Particularly the beer, if you drank enough of it.

Get out of voice mail jail free

Everyone should add this database to their favorites. It contains tips on how to talk to a real live person. Whether you can understand him/her or not, this is a good first step.

Of course, if companies could provide proper service in the first place, none of this would be necessary.

One victory for our side.

So who's in jail?

Turns out it's the Democrats:

Of course, the Democrats would seem to be the perfect party to run on a "culture of corruption" campaign... given their intimate experience with the subject over the last 30 years. Since 1976, 13 members of Congress have been convicted in criminal court and sent to prison.

Of the 13... 11 are Democrats.


Or maybe the Republicans, plutocrats that they are, could just afford to hire better lawyers. Or bribe more judges. Or both.

Naahh--when it comes to bribing judges (or anyone else) the Dems are second to none.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Art appreciation

By trouserquand, whose threatened desertion of the blogosphere was canceled, thank heaven!

Animal testing is evil! evil!

If you don't believe me, read this:

They take eye shadow and shove it into the eyes of some unsuspecting rabbit. This burns and irritates the rabbit's eyes. I know this for a fact because the other day I was shampooing and I looked up and a *massive* blob of shampoo went into my eye.... Holy f'ing shit it hurt.

The pain is why I am so pissed off about animal testing. I mean what the fuck - was my rabbit asleep at the switch? What the hell is your point of you don't thump your lucky foot and let them know the Pantene fucking burns? God dammit you are useless to me rabbit.


I can't get behind this anti-animal testing stuff. Who should they test the stuff on? New born babies? Harvard College faculty (hey, not a bad idea!)? Prisoners at Abu Ghraib?

I actually participated in cosmetic testing when I lived in NJ. Every week for 6-8 weeks you would go to the lab, where they would dab you with chemicals and cover them with patches. One or two of the substances hurt, and they took it off. After the testing period was over, they washed the affected area and gave you money, which was nice, and tax-free.

So, speaking as a human guinea pig, it wasn't so bad. Or maybe the poor rabbit got all the chemicals which failed the New Jersey inhabitant test and I only got all the good stuff.

Friday, March 03, 2006

If United Airlines employees had to live on tips...

they would all be destitute. On my trip to California, the seat they had me booked for was non-existent. They managed to shoehorn me in, between an Indian gentleman who kept talking to me in accents I couldn't understand, and a 350-lb guy who had lifted the armrest between us so I would have 80 percent of my space and he would have 20. I desperately needed 100 percent. I'm short, but I do have arms and legs which need to be accommodated.

The Overgrown One also exuded a smell, rather like yeast, but distasteful after about half an hour. What he lacked in physical appeal he made up for in lack of charm. Every time the Indian gent or I had to go to the bathroom, he made a tremendous to-do about having to get up--not saying anything, but passive aggression to the max, in looks and sighs. Rinse and repeat for 6 fun-filled hours.

On the way back, I was supposed to have an aisle seat, and asked the flight attendant about it. She told me to sit down and she would look for one after we were in the air. Needless to say, she must have parachuted out because I never saw her again, but I ruthlessly grabbed an aisle seat anyway. I noticed that the seats up front had more legroom than those in the back. This was my first experience ever of sitting near the front. Obviously the airline has assigned me to watch the motors and wings to see that the first doesn't catch fire and the second doesn't fall off. I've always done this very well in the past, but they managed to fly the plane without my help this time.

There was of course the inevitable circling of the airport--piece of cake. But then we landed, they turned off the air-conditioning, and we had to wait while they pulled the jetway up to the plane. I now know how dogs must feel when they are left in a parked car.

The Philadelphia airport believes in aerobic exercise so you get to walk about 1 1/2
miles to the baggage claim with the heat turned up to a nice cozy 88 degrees.

Anyway, I'm back.