The kiss of the vampire Obama

Well, folks, Obamacare just gave me a big wet smacker in the form of a massive increase--$60 per month--to my health insurance. Thanks ever so. In related government news, Social Security wasted a stamp telling me to apply online for a death benefit, but when I got on their website they informed me that you could not apply online. So why are people so down on the Postal Service? It does what it is expected to do. I write a letter, put a stamp on it, and mail it. The recipient receives it. They don't charge $500 for a stamp, either. Not even when you are a republican.

Tragic

National Poetry Month

I found myself thinking of this poem today, as the weather was so lovely.  I wanted to go somewhere to savor the day.  Instead I went to Macy's.

Anyway, it is National Poetry Month.

 

THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US; LATE AND SOON

          THE world is too much with us; late and soon,
          Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers:
          Little we see in Nature that is ours;
          We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
          The Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
          The winds that will be howling at all hours,
          And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
          For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
          It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
          A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;                         10
          So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
          Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
          Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
          Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.
                 

Serious

There's no amusing way to say this:  The man I called Mr Charm  died a week ago, so the world no longer has his smile or his hearty laugh.  His long, brutal illness took everything away, and then took him. 

Truly important

Someone left a message on Facebook that she is really enjoying Downton Abbey.  Really and truly?   This is confirmation that the Internet rots the brain.  And yet I recently subscribed to tumblr, so that intimate friends can inform me over facebook, twitter (which scares me, it's too difficult), google + and my e-mail that they have a hangnail.  I can't read my favorite bloggers, because they have stopped posting to their blogs and use twitter mostly, which @#I don't understand, mainly because I don't feel like wasting my time trying to master it.

Blogger is starting to be frustrating to me too.  I used to think I had it mastered, but they have improved it to the point that I can't do anything with it, like post photos.  Ah, the dear old days!

I only know how to do three things on the computer:  1) backup and restore; 2)control, alt, delete 3) answer e-mail.  That exhausts my little bag of tricks.

Reading biography

I ran out of mysteries to read, so decided to improve my mind by reading one of Mr Charm's biographies, a book about the Duke of Wellington by Christopher Hibbert and well worth reading.  He was an authentic hero, who defeated Napoleon and cared not  a rap what anyone thought of him.  He had a chest full of medals and was beloved by the ladies.

Like Ulysses Grant, who had been a quartermaster, Wellington understood the importance of supplying his armies, above all with food.  Send enough bullocks and sheep, and your army will be assured of victory. It sounds very quotidian, but it worked for him.

The citizenry loves military heroes, especially handsome ones. He went from triumph to triumph, including serving as Prime Minister.

The only unsatisfactory thing in his life was his marriage.  He had proposed to a woman when he was a young man and unable to provide for a family, and she refused him.  When he achieved success, he felt honor bound to renew his proposal, though he no longer cared for her, and she, who also had doubts, felt honor bound to accept.  So, despite the misgivings of both, they were married and lived together uneasily ever after.  He avoided her company whenever possible, and she was obsequious and timid, which made him him more impatient with her.

They were totally unsuited to each other.  He was the first man ever to say, for the record, that his wife did not understand him, although doubtless not the first to feel that way.  But as she lay dying, he was at her side.

Fighting climate change

My local newspaper features almost daily articles on the front page about climate change or global warming, with a generous side helping of beach erosion.  So, in order to limit my personal contribution to these  momentous issues, I have decided to cut back my carbon footprint by canceling my subscription.

Goodbye Facebook, Goodbye Twitter

I haven't posted anything on Facebook for months and am unlikely to.  My life, while it interests me, is both stressful and boring. s for Twitter, I can't even figure out where to start.  What are all those symbols and what do they mean?  Suppose I did it wrong?  I would feel like an un-with-it klutz, which I am, but why flaunt it?  I will still blog when I feel the urge, if I ever climb out of the ditch I'm in.

But the real reason I want to steer clear of these activities is that they are a terrible time-suck.  I can almost hear the remaining hours of my life circling the drain, while I ponder the mot juste.  So until someone figures out how to stretch 24 hours into 28 or 30, I think I'll abstain from social media.

Apology to Tim Geithner

I totally take back all the mean things I said about your tax problems with TurboTax.  I used a different online tax program & it was horrible.  I had to print out the forms and  fill them in  manually to figure out what went where.  I'm still not sure I got it right.  They are still sending me "Pay or Die" letters about my 2010 return, which I filed two years ago.

There's nothing more to say except I'm sorry.

How are the taxes in the Cayman Islands?

scammed!

So I received a phone call from someone with a heavy almost undecipherable Indian accent about my internet problems.  Calling herself Cindy, she said she was something to do with Windows, or Microsoft.  Whatever she said was unintelligible but sounded important.  The accent lent plausibility to her claim.  What phony would try to swindle someone without being intelligible?

It was a scam, but luckily my daughter arrived and got on the phone and scared them off.  So no harm was done, except to my faith in human nature.  Dishonest people with Indian accents--who knew?  I thought all people with heavy Indian accents were IT specialists, or at the very least, doctors.

Tough times at the U of Texas

The University of Texas is facing steep budget cuts.  To hear the administration tell it, if the university gets one penny less than they received last year, essential research will be sacrificed and the University will lose its first class status.  Important projects vital to the welfare of the nation will be lost,  catastrophe will no doubt follow and the research necessary to invent radar will not take place and we will probably lose World War II and the cold war--oh wait, we already won those didn't we?  Well, anyway, something disastrous will happen.

The more likely scenario is that one or two assistant associate deans of diversity won't receive cost of living raises and the official who plans and coordinates University Sex Week will have his/her travel budget cut.  Administrators now out-number faculty in most colleges; the tail is busily wagging the dog.

I remember when Mr Charm worked for the State of New York budget cuts were in the offing.  Our whole way of life was threatened.  Heads would roll, people would lose their jobs, the staff would not be able to purchase paper clips and its vital functions would be endangered.  A black cloud hung over the people of the State of New York.

In the event, two part-time charwomen were laid off and everybody lived happily ever after.  Except for the two charwomen, of course.

That ornery Arctic ice cap

We got the latest issue of Columbia's alumni magazine, which I call the Smug Report, because it is.  The last page tells about the visit of our beloved President to Queens or someplace like that.  I'm surprised they found this lowly place, which is even lowlier now that Sandy has wreaked havoc upon it.  Must have used GPS.

Obama mentioned the Arctic ice cap, which, according to him,  had been melting at a rapid rate.  I am so damn sick of this ice cap and all its brother and sister ice caps around the world.  Obama seems to think it is melting, but others whom I respect deny it.

Isn't it possible to go and measure the damn thing?  Like with an airplane?  and settle this controversy once and for all.  If it is not melting, the media ought to make that a page one news story.  If it is, tell us.

And then let's never hear about ice caps again.  Ever.  They are so twentieth century.

Should I forget about blogging?

I'm considering what to do with my blog, which I think 3 or 4 people actually read.  I have signed up for all the social media stuff, but I don't know what to do with that either.  Shall I discuss my visit to Whole Foods?  My skull x-rays?  Who cares?  As for Twitter, most of the bloggers I enjoy are posting there, but I can't even begin to figure out how it works.  It seems to have enlisted all the characters on the keyboard which were formerly used only in comic strips when one of the characters inadvertently hits his thumb with a hammer and said something like:  "@#*^$$$!"

Also, politics isn't fun any more.  I can't believe the people we have in positions of authority are the best we can find.  What a dreary lot!  What happened to the quality of citizens?  There are 300 million people in this country, but the voters are offered a candidate who believes a woman's body will reject a fetus that results from rape.  Whether he also believes that the stars are God's daisy chain was not revealed.

I am reading Shelby Foote's enormous tome on the Civil War, which is teeming with interesting and distinguished people, so much so that you have to keep a list to remember which side some of them are on, very much as I had to do with War and Peace.  I am still reading about 1861 and have four more years to go.  What a cast of characters!

Funny how now that we have a Democratic president the media are not banging on about how many American lives have been lost in Iraq or Afghanistan.    The total casualties in the Civil War are estimated at 600,000.  No one knows for sure.  Don't hear much about no blood for oil either.

How I spent my Christmas vacation

I have been sidelined with flu, and it was bad.  You don't need to have all the details but I reached the apogee when I fell in the lobby of the Kimmel Center--right on my nose. It hurt like hell.

I was immediately surrounded by six or eight people.  Someone helped me up and someone else got a chair for me.  Among the crowd was one nurse and one nursing assistant.  They sent for an ambulance, which came double quick.  The paramedics checked my blood pressure, etc. and I refused transportation to the hospital.  I never want to see a hospital again, at least as a customer.

On Christmas, I was at a hospital in Harford County, MD.  The people you encounter in Harford County are almost pathologically nice.  I thought the nicest people I had ever met were in Ireland, but Harford County makes the Irish look like pikers.  If there were an Olympic event for niceness, Harford County would win going away.

By the way, I did have a flu shot, but got the flu anyway.

Too good to check

According to the New York Post,college coeds are seeking older men to finance their college expenses. That's how hard up the poor dears are. The article is short on statistics and long on unicorn poop, quoting various here today and gone tomorrow websites that match up these young ladies with wealthy oldsters. I expect to see these headlines on trashy newspapers at the supermarket checkout line, along with UFO sightings and the latest sex scandals. How many of these relationships really pan out? I'm sure there are girls who wouldn't mind taking a rich person's money for no quid pro quo. It's the other end of the equation that I find dubious. I can't believe rich prosperous older guys are gullible enough to finance some chick's education for practically no return on their investment.

Ulysses S Grant

I've been doing a lot of reading about the Civil War and have gotten tremendously interested in General, later President, Grant. Opinions on his administration vary, but everyone acknowledges he was an honorable man through and through. The public knew how to venerate the man, which is greatly to their credit. Not too many honorable men have served as President in my lifetime. Example: Clinton, a scoundrel through and through. Also on the dishonorable list: Nixon, Johnson, and the current incumbent. George H W Bush was an honorable man, and so was his son. Eisenhower was an officer and a gentleman. Gerald Ford--maybe. I can't think of many others. can you?

Teddy bears for the dead

I am amazed at the outpouring of grief for the victims of the school shooting. It was an appalling disaster. But folks, it is not your tragedy. Stop it with the hysteria. In particular, don't make piles of flowers, notes, and toys. These shrines for murder victims are creepy. What good do teddy bears do for the deceased? These children are beyond the need for toys. If you want to help someone, try a living child. The Salvation Army is a good choice. So is Toys for Tots. Or just give money to the charity of your choice.

obscenity

I happened to be watching CNN on tv today at the gym, a thing I avoid like the plague. The creepy politicians are licking their chops about this Connecticut tragedy.Their crocodile tears are sickening. Especially nauseating is Senator Blumenthal, hamming it up like a bad actor.

Capsule movie review

I went to see the movie Pitch Perfect. If you think projectile vomiting is hilarious, by all means see it. If not, don't.

Happy Chanukah

Susan Rice identified

I am sorry to confess that though I have been half-heartedly tracking the troubles of Susan Rice, I did not notice that she was a black woman. I caught on to the woman aspect immediately--I am nothing if not observant--but I didn't notice the earth-shattering information that she was black. If I thought anything about her ethnicity, I figured she was a Nice Jewish Girl. Like me.

Since it is obvious that race is the over-riding characteristic of anyone in American politics, I think it should be mandatory that the media identify everyone's race every time that person is in the news. Specify A (African-American), H (Hispanic), and so on. It can be done discreetly.

That way, everyone will know whether he, she or they should detect discrimination in that person's treatment and feel aggrieved and resentful at the proper time.

Strategy

The recent election results remind me of my experience playing Scrabble with an old friend.

Howie was really smart, but I was smart too, and had a much bigger vocabulary. Mr Charm claimed that Howie had a vocabulary of maybe eight words. So I should have won more often that not, right?

Wrong.

I thought Scrabble was a word game and enjoyed coming up with esoteric words, especially words employing the high point tiles. Howie, on the other hand, believed the objective of the game was to win. It was frustrating and maddening to have Howie use words like "ape" or "was" to block me and my terrific vocabulary.

I played Scrabble as a word game. Howie played to win.

Now a winning strategy is to play the game, any game, by denying your opponent any points. Figure out what he wants to do and prevent it from happening.

What does this have to do with the election which we so elegantly lost? We took the high road, the opposition played to win. We praised our candidate to the skies and proved that he was a fine fellow. Moreover, he had a nice family. Everyone showed up at his rallies and cheered him loudly. Then we stayed home from the polls in droves.

T

he Obama campaign, on the other hand, gave Romney the full Alinsky. They would not let Romney win a point. They made a boogieman out of him. They mocked his ideas and demonized the Tea Party as a bunch of right wing extremists. Meanwhile, none of our team refuted the slanders. Ah, the high road! Lonely as it is, it is a morally superior road to the top. Except when it doesn't lead anywhere.

Events tended to favor the president, of course. Hurricane Sandy ought to have been called Hurricane Obama. All he had to do was put on his little presidential suit and show up among the suffering. Alleviating their suffering was not needed.

I guess it's better to be lucky than smart.

Election day

Thank God it will all be over tomorrow. I hope whoever wins wins by a landslide--no hanging chads or recounts or Supreme Court decisions. In New York and Chicago, of course, there will be accusations--no doubt warranted, but no-one cares. It's hardly worth the Democrats' time digging up all the recently deceased, rounding up the undocumented and the felons, because they will win anyway. Are we honestly going to keep in office the only citizen in these 57 states who desires a new cabinet level agency, a Department of Business, despite the fact that we have a Department of Commerce, which is surely the same thing? Or isn't it? Or wants high speed rail system that will shoot people across this vast continent in 48 hours, despite the existence of the airline industry which can move passengers from coast to coast in 5 hours. I don't think Obama is the smartest person in the room any more, unless the room is his clothes closet. Upon closer acquaintance he has turned out to be a dunderhead and a bore.

No more pink, please

Yesterday at the drugstore I was asked whether I would like to make a donation to the Komen foundation to fight breast cancer. I most assuredly would not. They are just going to have to struggle on with the millions and millions they have already collected from the millions and millions of concerned citizens.

I am getting sick and tired of breast cancer. You can't get mad at them because it is a worthy cause, and worthy causes are really, well, worthy, aren't they? But I am tired of them, and of buying everything pink from coffee to socks to cars, and from seeing their blasted pink ribbons all over anything and everything.

You reach a point where you've had enough. I totally understand why the citizens of Athens voted to banish Aristides because they were tired of hearing him called Aristides the Just.

What election?

There is a tremendous lack of excitement here in Wilmington. There are yard signs, or rather corner-of-vacant-lot signs, for several local candidates. These signs mention the candidate's name but neglect to identify his/her political affiliation. No Democrats or Republicans here, move on, nothing to see. Some brave citizens actually have yard signs in their actual yards, but these are rarities. As for the presidential race, you would never believe we are having one. I have seen one or two Obama/Biden bumper stickers. I have seen exactly one Obama yard sign, and two for Mitt Romney. Ho hum.

Back to darkness

Waiting in the lab to have my blood drawn, I picked up a magazine that was ostensibly all about health. There was an article advocating an environmental group advocating a cause that was new to me--the dimming of outdoor lights. If this bunch have their way, the Great White Way will become the Dim White Way, the City of Light will be the City of Half-Light, and all the street lights will be reduced to a glimmer, forcing honest citizens going about their business to be terrorized by felons.

Except no-one would be out and about without street lights. Families, consisting of two adults of any gender and one immaculately conceived designer child, would be cowering around the one fluorescent bulb they are allowed to have, huddled together for warmth. Perhaps they could re-locate to a nearby cave, if they are lucky enough to have one.

I am not going to link to the website of this detestable organization, but it does exist. Unfortunately.

a question

Whatever happened to "No blood for oil"? We spilled the blood already, so what's holding up the oil which was the real reason for going to war in Iraq, according to Democrats? Is George W Bush hogging it all for himself?

Eating alone

I like to break bread with others, don't get me wrong. But there's something liberating about eating all by yourself. You can eat whatever you want--peanut butter and banana sandwiches fried in butter appealed very strongly to Elvis Presley, for instance. Ice cream for dinner, eaten out of the carton, slathered in chocolate syrup and chopped walnuts, is tasty and filling, and there are no killjoys emitting negative vibes to take the fun out of it. My brother the genius had no dishes in his apartment when he was a graduate student. If he wanted something to eat, he opened a can of tuna fish and ate it over the sink. What did he use for utensils? We can only speculate. It is a mystery in the same category as the problem of Jack Reacher's underwear or lack of same. I got home the other day ravenously hungry. Some leftover two-day-old pizza, thoroughly dried up, was in the refrigerator. I thought it might be salvageable if covered with melted butter. So I buttered a couple of slices generously and heated them in the microwave. They were delicious.

Awful shorts

This morning the front page of the local fishwrap had not one but two pictures of Delawareans in their national dress: baggy, loose, ill-fitting shorts and a scruffy t-shirt. No wonder the birthrate is down! These shorts would never be acceptable to anyone at any time or with any accessories. They have elastic waists, worn either over or under a paunch, are made of far too much deplorable fabric, and are a perfect length to make any man's legs look awful. You wouldn't want to see Cary Grant in these shorts. Shorts per se need not be awful. Look at the ones the British Army sported in Africa during World War II. But the British are good at uniforms and at menswear generally.

Romney the vote repeller

Mitt doesn't need the media carrying water for Obama, he's doing a fine job of lousing up his campaign his own self. Take his remarks on the 47 percent. Well, Mitt, I am one of these, a person on Social Security and a New Jersey pension, but if you don't want my vote just say so and I'll stay home from the election. BTW, I pay taxes.

Advice for Mitt

Mitt, if you want to be president, stop discussing which Americans you don't worry about, that don't concern you, which Americans are leeches sucking the blood of the productive classes, etc. These remarks don't make you look like a clever fellow, they make you look like a doofus. We already have one of those leading the country.

Genealogy

I've been doing my family tree, but have hit the wall. I did okay with my parents and grandparents, but going farther back is complicated and difficult. For one thing, they kept changing their names. My father's father was originally named Zev, which means wolf in Hebrew, so he called himself Wolf when he came to this country, but didn't like the sound of it, so changed it to William and was known as Bill.

My Aunt Helen was originally named something that translates to Julia but sounds weird because Hungarian is a tough language. So she was Helen. My uncle Andy was Gersh. Don't ask.

My mother's parents were a little easier. Originally Kantrovich, they shortened it to Kanter. A couple of zaydie's brothers moved to this country and were living in Milwaukee when last heard from. One was called Feibel and another was Velvel. God knows what they called themselves; I found records of their sailing here but nothing else.

Liking

I

consider Facebook one of the most useless and time-sucking activities available to man, right up there with cleaning the grout in your bathroom tiles. When everyone started "friending" me I enjoyed hearing from people I hadn't seen in years. Since most of them are doing exactly what I predicted 20 years ago, I was pleased to have my judgment vindicated. Also it was nice to hear from them.

I did "friend" a bunch of people, mostly relatives. As far as posting any information about what I'm doing, the answer is, essentially nothing. Nothing that would interest anyone. I also "liked" a number of organizations, most notably the Delaware Symphony, which promptly went out of business. Nice work, Miriam.

This is background stuff, preliminary to inform you about an e-mail I received from a close relative from the Commie side of the family. She upbraided me because someone she knew told her I "liked" Mitt Romney, and she was aghast. As it happens, I didn't, and don't, and I told her so. She seemed quite relieved. I suffer from l'esprit de'escalier otherwise known as staircase wit, meaning that I think of a witty retort on the way home from the party, when it's too late. So here's what I would have told her, after re-covering my wits:

What's it to you? And if I did "like" Romney, so what? It's not like "liking" Goebbels. I don't "like" Romney but I'm voting for him just the same.

So there!

Introducing my new dental team

When dentists start talking about teamwork, I know it's going to cost me. There are three members on our team. I'm the one with the open mouth and the empty wallet. The other two are the ones shopping for new Mercedes, the car of choice for dentists.

Raise your blood pressure, lower your IQ

and ruin your day. Just try to call 1) Verizon, 2) Comcast, 3) Social Security, 4) your bank, or _______________ (fill in the blank yourself) and deal with their caller direction system. They should make it easier for you, the consumer, otherwise known as hey Rube! Instead, these systems are designed to protect the staff of whatever organization you are trying to communicate with from any contact with a live customer. I always feel a great energy drain from the other end of the line, like a gigantic vacuum cleaner. They suck the little grey cells out of your brain, and after an hour or so you are a gibbering idiot who can't remember how to tie your shoes.

Ho hum.

This election cycle, no matter how stridently everyone carries on. seems boring to me.

F

irst, the President. He has pulled every trick out of his little bag of tricks, and it's empty now. So he opened Pandora's box and let out-Debbie Wasserman Schulz. Shakespeare said a low voice is an excellent thing in woman, but the Debster didn't get the memo. She is the closest thing we have to a perpetual motion machine.

As for Romney, a man who actually says "Gosh" when he hits his thumb with a hammer, or so I imagine--he is our generation's answer to Warren G Harding, handsome but deeply boring.

There are 300 million people in the country, couldn't we do better than this?

In what way is abortion a campaign issue?

It's not.

Abortion is permitted by law, and confirmed as legal by the Supreme Court. So why are we talking about it? Why don't we discuss how many orfreys an archbishop can have on his chasuble? That would be more pertinent.

George W Bush, ostensibly anti-abortion, did nothing to change this law because there was nothing he could realistically do. Clinton did nothing, Obama did nothing, Romney will do nothing. So who cares what their respective opinions are about abortion; it's as relevant as their opinions on pickled herring.

T

he real takeaway from this whole discussion is the knowledge that a member of Congress can be as dumb as a post. Dumber, really, because a post can't make a fool of itself. We leave that to Todd Akin. Oh, yes, and Debbie Wasserman Schulz.

Oy vey! These people are running the country!

The boy genius.

My brother the genius as a boy. He really was an extraordinarily bright child, reading physics books when he was five. He went to school for the requisite 13 years, but they didn't teach him anything, he knew it all already. His practical judgment is another story. He used an inheritance to buy a Wang computer. Remember them? Neither does anyone else, except perhaps Mr Wang. It cost $30,000 but was, according to him, a great investment. The company went out of business the following year. In the 1970s, he believed strongly that we were going to run out of natural gas within the near future. He tried to get mother to convert to oil heat, but she pointblank refused. This led me to conclude that we would soon have a glut of natural gas. He thinks everyone in the country should be on Medicare. Any takers for that theory?

Let's save money by cutting the library's budget

Instapundit had a post some time ago about Harvard having to cut expenditures. They started by cutting one of the periodical subscriptions the University Library receives which costs $40,000 a year.

Forty thousand is a big sum of money, to be sure. The periodical is probably useless. But they could save a lot more if they fired a couple of diversity counselors or vice presidents in charge of student sensitivity. Or gender issues. Furthermore, the periodical subscription does not have health benefits, paid leave, or sabbaticals and doesn't hassle anyone. It just sits there quietly, minding its own business and moldering on the shelves, while the administrative personnel are not only useless but troublesome.

E

very time any organization or municipal body needs to save money, they cut the library's budget. Not the salaries of cops who park their patrol cars in the back of the supermarket parking lot in order to take a snooze, or the clerk who has been sitting at her desk quietly doing the crossword puzzle for the last 14 years. That would take work, you would have to ascertain which employees do necessary tasks and which are worthless, and anyway this person is a cousin of the Mayor.

Governor Christie did not cut funding for libraries. What he did was cut funding for municipalities, who then decided that it would be okay for the library to only be open three days a week.

New they're bringing the FBI into this:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON D.C. 20535-0001 TEL: 202-324-3447 Attn: Fund Beneficiary This is an official advice from the FBI, foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. (FRTD), it has come to our notice that the (central bank of Nigeria) C.B.N and there local banks in Nigeria has released your full inheritance/contract payment of 10,000,000 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary as there corresponding bank in USA. The bank in Africa knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from Europe to your account and they used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment S.T.D.P to pay this fund through wire transfer. They are still waiting for final confirmation from you on the already transferred funds, to enable them crediting into your account accordingly. secret diplomatic transfer payment are normally funds related to drug/terrorist and money laundry system of payment, why must your payment be made in such secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate and not related to drug/terrorist and money laundry, why can't the bank in Africa via Europe effect direct transfer into your account than secret diplomatic payment transfer. Due to the increased difficulties and unnecessary scrutiny by the American authorities when funds come from through such payment process from Europe, Africa and middle east, based on the records we had in the past always identified such method of payment as drug/ terrorist/money laundry funds, to avoid problem with the us government as soon as these funds reflect in your account in the U.S.A, it is our mandatory obligations to ascertain the documentation and certification of this funds before the final crediting into your account. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and held in our custody pending when you were able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (DIST) and letter of indemnity clearance certificate within 24hours from the united nation international fund monitory unit (UNIFMU) that authorize the transfer and certified that the funds originated from Africa and middle east is free from terrorist/drug and money laundry or we shall confiscate the payment. We will allow the funds to be release into your nominated account immediately you make provision the required document. You will be directed where and how to get the document if it is not in your possession. Your’s sincerely Robert S. Mueller, III

FBI Director Those ingenious Nigerians! However, they need to learn the proper spelling of "monetary.

Treasure Island

I saw Treasure Island with Wallace Beery the other night. It was so good! Beery was superb; the rest of the cast was merely wonderful. What a story! I've always loved RLS, both as a man and as a writer. I decided my ten-year-old grandson would enjoy reading Treasure Island, so went on Amazon to buy a copy for him. There were so many versions on offer, but some of them were condensed, like Obama's white girlfriends, and it was not apparent which were and which were not. Why do they ruin books like that?

Complaining, whingeing, and whining

Hot, humid, hot, hot, hot. My plants look as if they could use a good stiff drink, the lawn is brown, and the roses refuse to bloom. The sky is grey and looks threatening--although what it could threaten us with more unpleasant than what we've got would be hard to figure out. I suppose a hurricane would do the trick. I joined the JCC earlier because I refused to spend another summer without getting in a swimming pool. But the pool is as warm as chicken soup, although so far I have not encountered any matzoh balls or noodles floating in it. I have a lot of administrative stuff to do that soaks up my time like a sponge soaks up water. These dreary tasks make me feel like I have an unpleasant job, filled with monotonous but exacting tasks that never end, which moreover I have to pay for instead of being paid to do it. It involves lawyers, banks, and government functionaries. The IRS seems to have lost my 2010 return, and so have I. They called me about it in 2011 and I was able to answer questions about it but I appear to have eaten the paperwork. Or misfiled it. It is now as lost as my favorite umbrella. The best news of the past month is that I have been summoned for jury duty.

People who should know better...

are dissing the liberal arts and advising college students to go in for STEM courses instead. This is based on a false dichotomy. The liberal arts as taught today are a far cry from your grandmother's liberal arts. I should know--I'm a grandmother. When I went to college back in the late lamented 20th century, liberal arts students read "the best that has been thought and said." We read great works of English and American literature. In addition, we had to take courses in history and science. These courses were survey courses, not the greatest, but they did present an overview of Western civilization. We also had to take a couple of years of a foreign language. We read all of Shakespeare's plays as well as those written by other Renaissance playwrights, and a ton of poetry. We were taught grammar and had to do a good deal of writing, which is an excellent way of learning to think. Today's students master Grievance Studies such as Black History, Womyn's History, GLBT history and so on ad infinitum. Or popular culture like soap operas and cartoons. It is no surprise that they get As in everything, who wouldn't? Foreign language departments are closing, as no-one is required to study language any more. Ditto for philosophy. And a four-year course of study takes six years! Students are leaving colleges with worthless diplomas, heavy debt, and empty heads. But don't blame the liberal arts. Nobody is studying them any more.

St Swithin's Day

The Hispanics who came to dinner

Disgusting.

A list of red light cameras in Delaware. An article in the recent edition of the AAA magazine makes the point that traffic enforcement should be about safety, not revenue. Clearly this is not the priority of local governments in Delaware. Some traffic lights are actually set up to have very short yellow periods, the better to entrap the people they are trying to "protect."

Gone to Philly

I finally ordered season's tickets to the Philadelphia Orchestra. The seats, in the nosebleed section, were cheap, even with added fees. They are a world class orchestra and I'm looking forward to some great music. I feel very sad for the Delaware Symphony; I know some of the musicians and staff. But it was necessary to make alternate arrangements. I need my musical fix. Maybe Delaware will come back...someday.

Gone to Chicago to cool off

I may not be rich, beautiful or smart, but I have something better: good Chicago weather Karma. It was terribly hot here, so I went to Chicago to cool off. The temperature was supposed to be in the 90s. However, every time I've been in Chicago the weather has been nice, a condition I am informed is rare, and so it was this time. Chicago did not disappoint: the weather cleared up immediately and the temperature dropped to the clement low 80s. Maybe I should move there? It might improve life for the inhabitants.

The winery, a new painting

work in progress; Bathers

I received the following letter from our leader:

Patricia -- I'm about to sit down for lunch with a few grassroots supporters who are being flown in from Arizona, Maryland, Michigan, and Ohio. It'll just be me and these four supporters, with enough time to relax and have a real conversation. I can't wait. I'm not going to get to do too many more of these before November. That's just a fact. So if you'd like to be there for one of the last ones, please chip in $3 or whatever you can -- and you'll be automatically entered for that chance: https://donate.barackobama.com/Meet-Me-for-Dinner Next time, I could be on my way to meet you. Thanks, Barack

I would be all starry-eyed about this, except my name is not Patricia. So I won't be sending three dollars.

Delaware Symphony cancels 2012-2013 season

This is a real blow to me. I can't believe they would do this after selling tickets for the season. Why didn't they warn stakeholders before the well went dry? I am investigating going to Philly for my music fix. It's not that far for me; the real deal-breaker is parking, which is expensive and hard to come by. But if I go somewhere else, it won't be so easy to come back if the Delaware ever gets its act together.

Quibbles

I saw a sign recently at a business establishment: "Special discounts for everyone." How can there be special discounts for everyone? Special discounts are for special customers, aren't they? How can they be special if everyone gets them? Regular or irregular customers should get the regular price. Shouldn't they?

Loser

I bought a copy of Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers at the good Will store for $1, and it was worth every penny. The author proves that boys who were born in January and February are more likely to excel in hockey. They have an advantage over their classmates because they are older than boys born during the rest of the year, therefore more mature, stronger, etc, etc. I applied this knowledge to my own situation and gained a lot of insight. After leaving my commie progressive school at the age of 11, I was placed in the eighth grade, making me one and a half to two years younger than anyone else in the eighth grade. They were already 13 or more! I didn't stand a chance! I attribute every subsequent failure of my academic career to this fact. Mother and dad made me a loser!

Bummer

My spam filter appears to have taken the day off. I hate when that happens.

Guilt

John Edwards, though a thorough nogoodnik, is not guilty of any crime, as correctly decided by a jury of his peers. But Jon Corzine is guilty; he is a gonif pure and simple.

You can still

rent a German! In case you, you know, want one.

Happy Memorial Day

O brave new world

Excuse me if I don't go all starry-eyed over this prospect:

The police [in Vallejo, CA] went high-tech, investing $500,000 in cameras across the city that allow officers to monitor a larger area than they could before. The department deputized citizens to participate in law enforcement by sharing tips on Facebook and Twitter.

So the cops can sit in the precinct all comfy and cozy, watching television monitors filming the streets which it is their duty to patrol. How well has that worked in London? Meanwhile citizens can report their friends and neighbors to the authorities, just like in Hitler's Germany. No thanks.

Turkish suspicions

Oi vey!

Obama in French

Why does the President annoy me so? If I turn on the television and he is talking, I immediately change the channel. I was trying to figure out where this visceral reaction comes from. Today it came to me. A French phrase, for which we have no equivalent in English: He speaks en haut de bas. It actually means from high to low, but is generally considered to describe haughtiness-- the aristocrat looking down his nose at us peasants. It is infuriating.

New painting

The perfect man

What would my perfect man be like? Intelligent; Reads, writes and speaks fluent English; Showers frequently and cleans under his fingernails; Knows how to unclog a toilet; Looks? From average guy to Cary Grant--anything in this range is acceptable; Must weigh more than me; Likes music and movies; Does not listen to all Things Considered; Likes me. A lot. I could be more picky, but if anyone were more perfect, he would be too good for me.

Dilemma

My Keurig coffeemaker declines to make coffee. What do you do about an appliance that's too cheap to repair and too expensive to replace? There used to be a little old man in a little old shop in Rutherford, NJ, who would fix your small appliance for a small sum. Such enterprises no longer exist. I miss him.

A lot of work

A lot of work went into this comment, from my spam folder:

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The hell with the trees

The paper towel dispenser in my gym has a decal stating: "Remember, these are made from trees." I thought trees were a renewable resource. Apparently I was wrong. To the manufacturer of this dispenser: If you consider making items out of trees a criminal enterprise, stop. Go out of business. If you don't, shut up.

Teaching "innovation"

What public education system has this author observed? It doesn't seem to resemble the American system I am familiar with.

Knowledge that children are encouraged to soak up in American schools — the memorization of planets, state capitals, the Periodic Table of Elements — can only take students so far. But “skill and will” determine a child’s ability to think outside of the box, he says.

Who says American school children are being taught these things? They are not even learning the multiplication tables or how to write cursive. Instead, the curriculum is devoted to promoting self esteem, diversity, and political correctness. Our children are not being taught the basic skills they need to survive in our society, such as how to add, subtract, multiply and divide. We are educating them to become suckers. They are incapable of thinking anything through or expressing their opinions with clarity. You can't teach children to be creative. That comes from within. But you can equip them with the knowledge required not to be gullible fools. You can transmit our Western heritage.

No Kapcha!

Or is it spelled Captcha? Whatever, I really can't decipher it most of the time. Maybe I am a robot!

I've been trying for two weeks to purchase tickets for Tanglewood. There's a special promotion--30% off tickets. Maybe because I plan to attend Friday the thirteenth, I have had nothing but trouble navigating their website. First they want me to sign in. Why? I prefer that the BSO and I maintain a formal relationship. I don't want access to their website. Just sell me the tickets, dammit! But they insist. So I admit that I forgot my password (I use it once a year) and they e-mail me a new password. Back to their site. The new password does not work. Okay, Plan B. Call them on the phone. When I call, they inform me that they are closed for Patriot's Day. The State that sent Teddy Kennedy to the Senate is more patriotic than the rest of us, I guess. I e-mail the BSO and inform them of their extreme suckiness. I never get a reply, so I call again. At last, success--but the discount which was offered in the special online promotion is gone, never to be heard of again. I look at their website, seeking to recapture the magic moment, and am informed that from now on I have to change my password every time I log on. Why can't I log on as a stranger?

Apology

I've been reviewing some of my older posts, and I must admit I was a better writer then. It gets harder and harder. When I was young the words just flowed, but as I got older, I appear to have dropped a few IQ points here and there. I used to search for the mot juste, and frequently got it right. But now, instead of the mot juste, I sometimes settle for the mot second best or, worse yet, the mot good enough for government work.

A wasted morning

On the phone with Verizon. You have to grit your teeth and prepare to waste time, eons of it, to get anything done. I've never had decent phone service from them and long ago gave up expecting it. But the latest wrinkle is that callers to my home phone are informed that my mailbox is full. It isn't, because I listen to my calls every day, and remove them. So I called Verizon and after the usual interaction with the bland and irritating robot, I got somebody called John, who said he would call my phone and see what message he got, and get back to me. He didn't, unless "getting back to me" is a new phrase for hanging up. Just to make sure I had ground enough enamel off my teeth, I then called Comcast and informed them they could stop sending me letters threatening to suspend service, because I had canceled them at the beginning of the year. To make the day complete, I called the Boston Symphony to order tickets for a concert in July and found they were closed for something called Patriots Day. Whatever that is.

Food for thought?

This would explain so much.

Lynch mob politics

I wonder whether anyone else had the same reaction as I did to Angela Corey's announcement of the charges against George Zimmerman, the "white Hispanic." I thought he was being railroaded. According to Corey,

”We don’t prosecute by public pressure or petition. We prosecute cases on the relevant facts of each case and on the laws of the state of Florida.”

Sure, and I'm the tooth fairy. When I see those two old frauds, Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, circling Zimmerman like a couple of sharks smelling blood, it makes me sick. I am inclined to give anyone accused by them the benefit of the doubt. Remember the Tawana Brawley case? Or Freddy's Fashion Mart?

Needed: a men's empowerment coordinator

Honestly. Is this like a community organizer? I thought men were already empowered.

Passover fun

Another poem for poetry week

Provide, Provide

The witch that came (the withered hag)
To wash the steps with pail and rag
Was once the beauty Abishag,

The picture pride of Hollywood.
Too many fall from great and good
For you to doubt the likelihood.

Die early and avoid the fate.
Or if predestined to die late,
Make up your mind to die in state.

Make the whole stock exchange your own!
If need be occupy a throne,
Where nobody can call you crone.

Some have relied on what they knew,
Others on being simply true.
What worked for them might work for you.

No memory of having starred
Atones for later disregard
Or keeps the end from being hard.

Better to go down dignified
With boughten friendship at your side
Than none at all. Provide, provide!

Robert Frost

Spring green

 

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Robert Frost

Creepy

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/27/maquech-broach-beetle-jewelry_n_1383319.htmlUgh.

Confusion

I used to have a junk drawer--everybody has one in the kitchen or in their desk.  However, my junk drawer was expanding  into every drawer in the kitchen.  At that point I had what could be called a junk kitchen.  Every drawer in the kitchen contained some unclassifiable items I needed from time to time.  The junk accumulation then leapfrogged into my study.  First one drawer, then another, and finally all of them filled up with stuff.  The overflow found its way into the closets and from one room to another. 

About three weeks ago, I decided to clean out the junk I had in my study.I loaded three cartons with this stuff.  I threw out hundreds of paid bills and Medicare stuff.  Old Christmas cards.  Personal letters.  There seemed to be more stuff left than ever.  Ads for concerts and special events, art exhibits, bank statements..  All gone.

Here's what I took out of these drawers and don't know what to do with: shoe inserts, bandages of every size, lint rollers, telephone cords, USB cables, picture frames, swimming goggles (2), hair curlers, old photographs, bathing caps,(2) swimsuits (also 2),more USB cables, an iPod, a Flip, scotch tape, picture frames, telephone wire, picture wire, picture hangers, needles, a screwdriver with interchangeable blades, a hammer, screws, nails, nail files, shoelaces, old address books (4), CDs, DVDs, special offers from Comcast.  And plenty more.

I'm just going to dump most of it and start out fresh.

Fruit trees in flower at African American vets memorial

 

In answer to Kitten, a faithful reader, as you may have guessed, everything is not hunky-dory around Charm Manor (Dad died in April, plus misfortunes too many to count, some trivial).  But I am Hanging in There, to coin a phrase.

Birthday Tuesday.  Head bloody but unbowed, and all that rot.  I just haven't been feeling too light-hearted and humorous these days.  Keep coming back.

Newborns aren't people?

So say some ethicists.

 “The moral status of an infant is equivalent to that of a fetus in the sense that both lack those properties that justify the attribution of a right to life to an individual.”

Rather than being “actual persons”, newborns were “potential persons”. They explained: “Both a fetus and a newborn certainly are human beings and potential persons, but neither is a ‘person’ in the sense of ‘subject of a moral right to life’.

Can we agree in advance that ethicists aren't really "actual" persons? If they were "actual" persons, they wouldn't be so morally obtuse.

Blogger Appreciation Day

Just got the news from insty that today is Blogger Appreciation Day.  So come on, you guys.  It's time to appreciate me.  You only have an hour and 15 minutes left to express your appreciation.

Meanwhile, many the bloggers I cherish have moved to Facebook, Twitter, and even Flickr.  Do they still count as bloggers?

More extortion

Here's someone else complaining about red light cameras.  Read it and weep.

Tragic haircut

When I was ten years old I transferred from commie private school to public junior high. All the other kids were bigger and older than me, which put me at a disadvantage, but what really riled me was the way mother dressed me. Like a little girl, which I was. But I wanted to be dressed like the popular junior high girls.

Worst of all was my hair. I had long, beautiful golden hair, which mother thought would turn to brown if I cut it. But all the other girls wore either a flip or a pageboy. And every day I had the indignity of sitting at the kitchen table while bubbe braided my hair. I hated those braids with a passion. I tormented mother until she gave in and allowed me to go to a beautician and get a decent haircut.

I guess she didn't think I would really do it. When I came home with my new do, she was aghast and went into her room and slammed the door. She didn't speak to me for hours. She was right--when my hair grew out it was a dull brown. And hairwise, it was all downhill from that day forward.

My latest painting

A display in a thrift shop.

I'm still here!

I designed this as a Christmas/Chanukah/holiday card, but didn't send any cards out because the printer was on the blink. I'd like to send copies to my friends to let them know I'm still alive and that 2011 didn't do me in. What do you think?

A few weeks ago I was stranded at Philadelphia Airport without a ride, and I was forced to use the Old Lady card.  Fortunately, it succeeded, but the problem with using the Old Lady card is that you have to be an old lady before, during, and after employing the card.  There is no time off for good behavior, no furlough, no chance of a reprieve.  You never even get one day off.

Once upon a time I had a Cute Young Thing Card, but it expired and can never be renewed.

Euphemism

I got a bill  with a photo of me going through a red light, sent by some kind benefactors who call themselves the Red Light Safety Program. They wanted a decent sized check, but that's not what it's about. It's all about my safety.  No doubt they could use the cash as well, but it's really, really about keeping me safe. And the children, too, I'm sure.  Let's not forget the children.

Can't we ever call things by their real names?  This program should be called the Revenue Enhancement Program, or the Gotcha! Program.  That would be more honest.  Just as it would be more honest to refer to abortion and birth control by their own names, instead of piously calling them Women's Health Issues.  And talking about saving women's health.  Pregnancy is not an illness.  Every single person I've ever met was the result of a pregnancy.  Every one.  No exceptions.

Does it ever occur to anyone that women can still get abortions and birth control by paying for it themselves? It's perfectly legal.  But it seems unthinkable.  We used to pay for medical care, in living memory.  When my kids were small, we took them to the pediatrician and paid the bill out of our own pockets.  They got the required shots and well-baby exams without  aid from the government or insurance.  Insurance was for catastrophes.

A couple of years ago, my father suffered an attack of shingles.  It was hideously painful, so when shots for shingles came out, I asked the doctor to prescribe a shot for me.  The insurance carrier had not yet approved this for payment, and my doctor's office was gobsmacked when I offered to pay for it myself.  I did, and was not struck down by a thunderbolt from heaven.

My brother, the genius, sent me this photo.  I don't quite know why he sent it, but I thought I would share it.

Old plants, new shoots

 

I got these plants as gifts a year ago. Put them in the garage and forgot about them. I discovered yesterday that they had sent forth new shoots. So I watered them and am watching them grow.

Someone sent me a comment, which has since been eaten by Blogger, asking what kind of plants they are.  The answer is crocus, daffodil, tulip, and I forget.  I don't know which are which, though.

Undoubtedly more will be revealed.

Relatives?

 

Maybe. I can't tell. The photo is not labeled.

The importance of being Ernest

 

The image above is that of a thug who was responsible for countless deaths. He has become an icon of the American left because of this picture, which is everywhere: on coffee cups, T-shirts, posters, and for all I know, condoms. The picture looks so dashing, so glamorous! That beard, that beret, that intent expression! And his nickname, Che, is so chic, full of masculine bravado. He is of course, Ernesto (Che) Guevara.

Imagine if his friends and family had called him Ernie, instead of Che. Picture him in an alternative universe, in a baseball cap, glasses with unfashionable frames, no beard, and wearing a T-shirt saying "I'm with stupid" and with his pants falling down, showing his underwear.

Girl in snow

 

Ambiguous

In my e-mail:

You have been selected to receive this ticket because you are entitled to government funding maybe. The US Government must find recipients in order to distribute over $360 billion dollars to organizations and private individuals.

What's that "maybe" all about?

The Chicago way vs Albany Democracy

I wonder whether the Chicago way has any resemblance to Albany Democracy. In Albany, and in Albany County generally, the Democrats controlled everything. Albany voters voted the straight Democratic ticket every time. I think they are the only county in the US to go overwhelmingly to George McGovern. A sinister Irishman whose name I have forgotten ran the machine. When a house in Albany changed hands, the evaluation--and the taxes--went up. The whole thing was choreographed like a classical ballet. First you got the letter concerning your new evaluation, then you called a lawyer who agreed to "represent" you in appealing the rise. Our fixer, another Irishman, was always off somewhere attending a wake, funeral, wedding, first communion, or barbecue, so you had to keep calling him. When you finally reached him, he said he would fix--I should properly call it "fix"--the assessment for you. This was supposed to make you grateful and turn you into a lifelong Democrat. Every election, a little old man who wheezed and smelled of cigarette smoke came to your door and told you who to vote for. He was completely sincere and meant it but we voted for whomever we pleased. It didn't matter who we voted for. Everyone else voted the straight Democratic ticket. The good thing about the machine was low taxes. The bad things were rotten schools to which no member of the school board would send their kids, potholes, little or late snow removal, no street cleaning, and a host of other deplorable conditions. The good thing was low taxes. Loyal Democrats were given low-paying jobs around the city and were appropriately grateful for them. The elevators at City Hall had actual elevators run by city hacks, years after all the other elevators in the world were automated. Free turkeys and baskets of food were delivered in poor neighborhoods at Christmas. Our mayor was supposed to be very smart and came from a distinguished family. The story went that he could have risen to the House or the Senate, so distinguished was he, but he Had a Mistress, which disqualified him. He came to politics poor and left rich, albeit in a pine box, despite earning about $5,000 a year. I guess he was lucky in his investments. I thought he was an egregious ass. My daughter, a fifth grader, wrote him a letter requesting pay raises for firemen. He sent her a pompous reply as if she were a grownup, but not too bright at that. This all happened a long time ago and I'm sure everyone in Albany County is completely honest and trustworthy at present. Like Chicago. But with lower taxes.

Mother and dad

 

I'm sure I posted this once before. I love the picture, though.

I wish my mother and dad had had more pictures taken of themselves. Dad didn't because he was always behind the camera, and mother didn't because she was waiting until she lost a lot of weight to have her picture taken. She actually cut pictures of herself out of family snapshots. I wish she had stopped wishing to be different and accepted herself as she was. Wasn't it enough to graduate from law school before she was old enough to practice law? To be an attorney whose clients loved her? To know every policeman in Columbus, OH? To be married to a handsome guy?

Nope, she was never good enough. Mother told me that her parents never praised her and her brothers. Never kissed or hugged them. Bubbe, particularly, was sparing with kind words. Sarcasm she had plenty of, though. Her tongue was a knife that cut two ways. Her children and grandchildren had to be perfect. Since they weren't perfect, she was never satisfied. The boys didn't seem to mind, but mother felt she could never measure up.

The weight thing came down through the generations and has driven all us granddaughters crazy. I am the fattest of the bunch. The rest are the type of skinny woman who eats seven grapes and four almonds for lunch. Only one of her grandsons had trouble with his weight, and that was my brother the genius. However, he could drown his sorrows in mathematics.

Good work, Seal Team 6!

What an exciting story! It was like a Daniel Silva story, only real.

The gingham dog and the calico cat

Does anyone remember that little ditty? I read it when I was a child. The gingham dog and the calico cat had a fight, and when it was over they had eaten each other. Does this remind anyone of Gingrich and Romney? 310 million people in the US, and not one Republican with a brain. Welcome to Obama's second term, thanks to the stupid party.

Irksome

It's been that kind of day. Just when I thought I had Mr Charm's affairs settled and am taking a much needed vacation in California, irksome stuff happened, and I was strongly irked. I respond to unpleasant happenings in weird ways. First, my hair starts to fall out. Don't laugh--the vacuum cleaner is picking up oodles of hair these days. I am going to have to ask Donald Trump for the name of his hairdresser soon. As an added bonus, my stomach gets upset. I react to this by taking so many Tums every day that my osteoporosis has been cured--a miracle. Of sorts. PS: Though my stomach is upset almost every day, I don't lose any weight.