Glenn Beck and that old time religion

The massive Beck rally makes me uneasy. It is uncomfortably close to a Christian revival meeting with a Come-to-Jesus sub-text.

Why must religion come into it? Our Founding Fathers were not literally Christians but deists. They believed in natural law, not messianic religion, whereby only Christians (or Muslims) can achieve salvation. In fact, our country is not about heavenly salvation, but about governance which respects the rights of all men to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness on this earth.

Whenever a strong Christian element enters the discourse, I think of the Crusades. Maybe the Crusades saved Christendom, but when it was all over and the infidels were vanquished, a lot of innocent Jews were dead.

Collateral damage? Well, yes, but I don't want me and mine to be collateral damage, even inadvertently.

Non-committal holiday cards

I'm all tuckered out from sending out a few Christmas--oops--holiday cards. First I had to go to the Post Office early because they run out of Christmas--I mean holiday--stamps rather early. I scored some stamps (utterly inoffensive religiously). I can't remember what they had on them, frankly, because I put them away safely, never to be found again.

I prepared myself by purchasing cards free of baby Jesus (of course), holly, mistletoe, picturesque churches in the snow, picturesque houses in the snow with wreaths on the door (see holly and mistletoe, above), angels with trumpets, and other undesirable Christian symbols. Also notably absent were menorahs, six-pointed stars, Israeli flags, dreidels, and kiddush cups. I'm not giving away the secret of what pictures were on these cards; do your own research.

Not having the Christmas non-denominational stamps at hand, I had to make do with Ella Fitzgerald which I was saving because I like her singing. Then I remembered that Ella was only worth 39 cents while postage had gone up to 41 cents. So each Ella was accompanied by a Liberty Bell, just to be safe.

I printed up labels, then had to make choices: should I send greetings to the next-door neighbors? My old next-door neighbors? What about the former colleague who I haven't seen in about five years, but who always sends me a card? And the good friend who never sends cards anymore because she says her life is too dull to write about?

I decided to send cards definitely to those who send pictures of their cute, winsome children every year. I keep these in an album entitled "Other People's Children." When the children reach the age of 22, I stop keeping them, no matter how winsome.

With all these decisions behind me, I put all the cards out for the mailman. Done for this year, thank (God of your denomination or any deity you think deserves thanks). If you are a Unitarian and/or don't believe in God, I thank Mother Earth.

How to keep people awake during religious services

Jews, Christians, and Muslims celebrate their respective sabbaths differently.

Friday sermons in Islam (aka the Religion of Peace) are a little different from the Judeo-Christian kind that take place on Saturday (the Judeos) or Sunday (the Christians).

When I attend the Judeo services (not as often as I should), the rabbis wax long about loving your fellow man, making nice, and supporting worthy causes, while the congregants quietly catch up on their sleep.

The Christians (Protestant league) have to squirm in their seats while the minister talks about loving your fellow man, forgiving your enemies, and being an all-around good person.

The Catholic division reads from a playbook, so the priest doesn't have much to say off the cuff. When he does let loose with a sermon, he always talks about loving your fellow man, etc., while the parishioners steal glances at their watches and wonder if they will get home in time to watch the game. And this bunch has some kind of peaceloving hugfest which concludes the festivities.

I've never attended Friday prayers at a mosque, but you don't have to. You can read about their sermons in the newspapers. They call Jews pigs and dogs, Christians are crusaders--and they don't mean it as a compliment--and atheists--oy vey! All three of the aforementioned groups--have I forgotten anyone? are rotten infidels and should be killed by Muslims ASAP.

Those Imams really know how to work a crowd. No nodding heads in their congregations! Their listeners take their words to heart and go out to do their level best to wipe out the rest of us. None of that love-thy-neighbor guff from them!

(Reprinted from last May.)