Under the heading of old business....

I have some stuff to clear up:

I caused the stock market to tank. Yes, I am guilty. Last Friday I ordered my IRA to sell some shares. You saw what happened Monday? I am deeply sorry.

The pro-abortion cheerleaders act like getting an abortion is a fun thing, like getting a really nifty hairdo or taking a vacation in Bermuda. It isn't. It's a surgical procedure, not a cause for celebration, whatever you are, pro-choice or pro-life.

The Wall Street Journal quotes a a couple of supposedly representative Christians:

When I got home from church I... called my Jesuit friend, who I know hates these people, too. I asked, "Don't you think God finds these smug egomaniacs morally repellent? Recoils from their smugness as from hot flame?"

And he said, "Absolutely. They are everything He or She hates in a Christian."

I thought Christians were supposed to love their enemies, or their neighbors? Apparently not. I guess Jesus was just kidding around when he said, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone." I suppose the quaint idea I picked up, that to a believing Christian, every one of us is a child of God with an immortal soul, was not applicable to Republicans. I'm not a Christian, so how could I know? I thought Christians were like the Rev Martin Luther King. You know, saintly.

I hope these tolerant believers don't extend their contempt to us Jews--oh wait, they already have. Only they call us "Zionists."

By the way, I just posted a new feature, called "Followers," on my blog. Humiliatingly, I have 0 followers so far. So if you want to follow my blog, sign up. If no-one signs up, I will remove the gadget.

How to keep people awake during religious services

Jews, Christians, and Muslims celebrate their respective sabbaths differently.

Friday sermons in Islam (aka the Religion of Peace) are a little different from the Judeo-Christian kind that take place on Saturday (the Judeos) or Sunday (the Christians).

When I attend the Judeo services (not as often as I should), the rabbis wax long about loving your fellow man, making nice, and supporting worthy causes, while the congregants quietly catch up on their sleep.

The Christians (Protestant league) have to squirm in their seats while the minister talks about loving your fellow man, forgiving your enemies, and being an all-around good person.

The Catholic division reads from a playbook, so the priest doesn't have much to say off the cuff. When he does let loose with a sermon, he always talks about loving your fellow man, etc., while the parishioners steal glances at their watches and wonder if they will get home in time to watch the game. And this bunch has some kind of peaceloving hugfest which concludes the festivities.

I've never attended Friday prayers at a mosque, but you don't have to. You can read about their sermons in the newspapers. They call Jews pigs and dogs, Christians are crusaders--and they don't mean it as a compliment--and atheists--oy vey! All three of the aforementioned groups--have I forgotten anyone? are rotten infidels and should be killed by Muslims ASAP.

Those Imams really know how to work a crowd. No nodding heads in their congregations! Their listeners take their words to heart and go out to do their level best to wipe out the rest of us. None of that love-thy-neighbor guff from them!

(Reprinted from last May.)