I knew it couldn't just be me!

Dell had computer problems, and I had Dell problems.

In the past five years, we have had serious problems with two Dell computers.  The latest one, after a year of use during which it never worked properly, had a defective motherboard.

I figured it was something to do with me, considering how little I know about computers.  The only thing I actually know about them is:  I need one!

You know how, when you take your car in for service, the mechanic tells you the flugelhorn is defective and the rubella needs a new part, and you try to nod sagely like you understand what he is talking about?  I have the same lack of understanding the most elementary facts about computers.  However, most cars work.

Now imagine you purchase a new car, which is fine but has four perfectly square wheels.  But you are told it's fine.  It's supposed to work that way.

Makes you crazy, doesn't it?  The hell with you, Dell, including all the supercilious Indian male-supremicist outsource guys with ununderstandable accents.  Bad cess to you!