Sunday, June 15, 2008

Marriage temperature

When two people live together, regardless of their previous condition, one of them is always too warm and the other always too cold. It's an unbreakable rule.

In our house, I am always warm. I like fresh air. The other inhabitant, hereinafter known as Mr Charm, is always cold and hates fresh air. He likes windows and doors closed. If he goes to bed before I do, I always find the bedroom door and windows closed and stale, hot air in the room. I immediately open windows and door and turn on the ceiling fan.

In the middle of the night he turns off the fan, closes the windows and doors, and goes back to bed.

Last night, I came upstairs to go to bed before he did. I was lying there reading with the fresh air pouring over me when he came in and went to turn off the fan. I threatened to kill him, and he turned it down to the lowest possible setting and went to bed.

In the middle of the night I turned the fan off. I thought it was sufficiently cool and did not want him to burst out in icicles all over and die of hypothermia.

In the morning, the fan was on. He admitted he "thought we might need it." and turned it on.

Why do men and women have the delusion that they could possibly live together in peace and harmony?


airforcewife said...

My husband IS the heater in our house. His wicked fast metabolism (which just irritates the heck out of me as he eats whatever he wants and never gains weight) has him kicking off heat like Johnny Storm from the Fantastic 4.

Summer can be miserable.

dick stanley said...

Good question. I think they do it for the money.

That Broad said...

I'm always hot, he's always cold. I don't think we'll every find a balance on that, but we still enjoy each other's company so it works.