Friday, March 17, 2006

Don't use stupid acronyms

From Tan:

Dear people who use the term ROTFLMAO,

What the f*** are you talking about?!!? I don’t get it. People don’t really say “rolling on the floor laughing my ass off” in actual conversation. So why do you have to shoehorn this waste of eight letters into our messaging and e-mails? It’s not even a good acronym. It’s not clever. It doesn’t spell anything. And it’s not even that short, ROTFLMAO is longer than most standard good-size words. It’s almost as long as the word “eucalyptus.” And no one wants to write that out. It’s as long as “laughing,” and longer than writing the word “funny.” Which is the point here, right? I can only presume you're trying to express your amusement, and the whole rolling on the floor and ass falling off is for “dramatic effect.” Correct me if I’m wrong.

And really, rolling on the floor? Laughing my ass off? What is the imagery we have going here? Has that ever happened at any time in the history of the universe? Someone rolling on the floor laughing, and their ass falls off? I don’t think so.... It’d be like “YO SON! Don’t tell that joke again, the last time you said it someone rolled on the floor and laughed his ass off. There was blood and not-yet-congealed shit everywhere. It was fucking nasty. I’m not down with that. Just tell the regular old funny ha-ha jokes.”

I heartily concur. Also, let's not hear any more about spitting soda on monitors or, shall we say, wetting your underwear? Kindly keep your gross physical activities to yourselves.

P.S. Have you seen a doctor about these symptoms?

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