Dreary domestic tales

My dishwasher is broken, not in the sense that it does not perform, but in the sense that it no longer has the ability to get dishes clean.  Since I am not planning to get a new one immediately, it has become necessary to wash dishes thoroughly by hand if I want to eat off of clean dishes, which I do.  After hand-washing them, I put  them in the dishwasher for a nice swim.  They don't come out any cleaner, but no dirtier either.

I also have ants.  I have put ant traps everywhere.  I managed to eliminate them from the stove, but then found them climbing into the refrigerator, so I sprayed them with dangerous ant killer.  This ant killer is not recommended in any place where food is prepared, but unfortunately the ants prefer to be around food. So I spray them and then thoroughly clean the places I have sprayed, thus saving my life, I hope.

They abandoned the refrigerator at last.  I thought I had them on the run, but found they had moved their activities to the microwave, which I then sprayed.  Next was the dishwasher.  I loaded it with poison, then ran it twice to eliminate the poison.  All was quiet when I went to bed.  This morning, when I went to make coffee, I discovered them cavorting in the sink.

I'm warning all my friends:  if my dead body is discovered, covered with crawling ants, you will know who won this war.