Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Suggestion for a caller direction system

From my brother, the genius:

Hello, and thank you for calling Furndock Corporation. Your call means nothing to us because we do not value our customers or their time. If we did, we would have a human to answer our phone. However, humans cost money and your time is free, at least for us, so we have bought a cheap automatic caller direction system. Since careful programming of this machine also costs money, we have programmed it very badly which means that you will waste a great deal of time getting to the person you want, if you get the person at all, which isn't very likely. We don't give a damn how much this inconveniences you.


I often think that we could solve the problem of unemployment by hiring every single unemployed person to answer the phone instead of using these caller direction systems. That would be the kingdom of heaven on earth and is as likely to happen as the kingdom of heaven is likely to come to earth.

Oops, I forgot--when Barack Obama is president, the oceans will recede. Can he spare a little of his time to cure the caller direction problem?

5 comments:

airforcewife said...

I'm seriously waiting for him to claim to solve the trans-fat problem.

Venomous Kate said...

That's a brilliant phone message, Miriam.

Hey, you think Obama might be able to cure cellulite?

dick stanley said...

Now, now, all these suggestions that Barry actually DO anything are racist, people. Don't you realize that? He's to be expected to do nothing while getting the big bucks, just like white folks do. That's why Michelle is pulling down so many thousands from that hospital for doing, what? Diddly, I'm sure. As it should be.

OBloodyHell said...

> or doing, what? Diddley, I'm sure.

I hope she's not doing Diddley...

That would be necrophilia, and represent a tremendous challenge for the Obama campaign to distance themselves from...

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