Friday, August 01, 2008

Men in shorts

The New York Times endorses men wearing shorts. The article is illustrated by pictures of three cute young guys wearing the aforementioned garments.

It's okay for them. They're young. They're cute. They're slim. They have nice straight legs. But they are not the typical men in shorts we encounter here in Delaware. Here in Delaware men don't care what they look like and prove it every day.

Almost any time I leave my house in the daytime I am treated to the unedifying spectacle of my across-the-street neighbor, who not only wears shorts nine months of the year, but has a beer belly hanging over the top of them. The beer belly can be easily seen because he seldom wears a shirt. I don't even want to talk about his tattoo--some things are better left to the imagination.

Know what makes the average non-gorgeous man look good? Sorry, fellows, it is a business suit, worn with shirt and tie. The suit covers a multitude of flaws, and can be designed to make the most of a man's best assets, such as broad shoulders. Stylistically, there can be no more forgiving garment, except maybe a toga.

I'm not suggesting that my neighbor wear a business suit to weed his garden. But how about a shirt, at least?

Standards of dress are in free fall, and not only among men. But that is a topic for another day.

7 comments:

Paul Smith Jr. said...

I do wear shorts and I'm not going to wear long pants when it's hot.

But a golden rule should be that all men have to wear shirts in public. While there are men who can pull off the shirtless look, if exceptions are made too many will think they fall into it. I will make a few situationally based exceptions: if some game that requires shirts vs. skins is being played; swimming pools/beach.

Those are the only ones I can think of now, but there aren't many more.

miriam said...

I think shorts are okay for casual wear---but not, as the article seems to indicate, for Wall street brokers or hootshot lawyers while they are engaged in business.

airforcewife said...

Shorts are around the house or going-to-a-theme-park attire for me. Now, I think Air Force Guy is quite the sexy in his shorts, but he's also fit and trim and WEARS A SHIRT IN PUBLIC! In fact, we were at a water park today and he wore a rash guard shirt. He wears t-shirts under his t-shirts!

But I agree with you on dressing down standards. The things I see some women wearing to church makes me wonder if we will all be struck down in the communion line in some kind of Divine lesson in respect.

creakypavillion said...

Just today over lunch we discussed this article. My son (who roughly falls into "wall street brokers" category was absolutely against the shorts+jacket combo; he told me the article had reached the Desk immediately after the paper was released - and the consensus there is "down with it".
Later the conversation turned into short-sleeve shorts (for the summer). I'm convinced the best way to introduce a novel 'dress' idea to a man is to offer some sort of logical thread, so I pointed out to this similarity: shorts cover half a leg...short-sleeve covers half an arm. Don't you think they should be worn together?

Sorry to report my method wasn't entirely successful this time. The logic was accepted as reasonable, but His Trendiness had refused categorically to even consider buying one short-sleeve shirt...

SnoopyTheGoon said...

Yes, keep pounding on us, short balding bandy-legged corpulent hairy men in shorts. See where it gets us. Yeah... I shall say no more...


My next act will be a vulgar tattoo then...

creakypavillion said...

*** I meant "short-sleeve shirt", of course!

dick stanley said...

Nowadays, with all the Californicators living here, shorts, short sleeves and slaps are commonly see. But there was a time, and for many it still reigns (especially farmers and ranchers), when Texas men never wore shorts or short sleeves, even in the summer. Maybe especially not in the summer. Until I retired I didn't even own a short-sleeve shirt, and I only wore shorts in the house. Now that I'm afflicted with old-man syndrome, which, essentially, is a who-cares-what-people-think attitude, I wear shorts and short sleeves all summer. But I draw the line at slaps.