Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Dear Self Magazine:

I am writing to thank you for your interest in my renewing my subscription to your magazine. You appear to think that I will got a lot out of continuing to subscribe. And I have really enjoyed some of your articles on fitness, diet, and makeup. However, I don't think I quite fit into the demographic you are seeking.

I have subscribed to your magazine for over a year now, yet I have not succeeded in resembling your typical reader, as shown in the illustrations in your publication. Though I try to stand up straight, eat healthy and exercise, I have never succeeded in becoming a six-foot tall, 110 lb model. Not even close.

Judging by the women I see, on the street, at social affairs, and even in the gym, hardly any other American women resemble the models in your magazine.

Below is someone who looks more like the average American woman. In a recent survey it was revealed that 3 out of 4 American men would not kick this woman out of bed. Even though she has hips.


dick stanley said...

Hips are good. No hips are, well, unfortunate.

Venomous Kate said...

Yep, I ditched my subscriptions to Self and Cosmo for the same reason. Also, I was tired of reading an article about "How to Lose 5 lbs. in 3 Days" immediately followed by another about "Make The Best Brownies Ever!"

Tat said...

There is a big ugly blob of..something stuck to Ms.Loren's ribs.
What that can be? Did they do tummy tucks in 1965?

SnoopyTheGoon said...

"3 out of 4 American men"?

What is the fourth one - a blind moron?

Tat - there is nothing ugly on the Goddess - she could be twice as fat as she is in that picture, an still be herself.

Offended fan.

Tat said...

Snoopy, I'll give you more drool-inducing image of fat goddess - here, worship all you want.

Fat vulgar whore. Nothing more. If that's your ideal woman, I'm sorry for you.


miriam said...

Snoopy: The fourth man is gay.
Tat: Sophia Loren was, and continues to be, a beautiful woman.

Tat said...

...to people without taste.