Dear Ann Landers:

I don't understnnd how anyone can run for office when candidates and their significant others can be dragged through the mud over an innocent remark.

I happened to remark that I have not felt proud of my country for all my adult life and they jumped all over me. Yet no-one knows what I have suffered as a minority woman growing up in this racist country.

For instance: when I was in third grade, three (3) kids did not send me valentines even though it was mandatory to send cards to everyone in the class! Racism at its worst! Can you deny it?

Then in high school, the captain of the football team never asked me out--because I did better in geometry than he did--rampant sexism! Nor did I get to go to the Junior Prom with the date of my choice! These incidents--which I attribute to the fact that Ronald Reagan was president--scarred my young life and made me bitter.

Sure, I was admitted to Princeton, but I was never chosen as Homecoming Queen, nor did the white students strew my path with rose petals as I walked through the campus to make up to me for the racism and sexism I had suffered in the past.

Okay, I concede I was admitted to Harvard Law, but the thought that--perhaps--I had been chosen because of affirmative action turned my triumph to ashes and dust.

When my husband (whose name I will not mention) is elected president, every child will get valentines from every other member of the class or the full majesty of the law will be invoked on their parents. Every girl will get to date the man of her choice, and all will be on the honor roll and go to Princeton, Harvard, Yale, or the College of William and Mary. Everyone will also go to law school and pass the bar of their respective states on the first try.

In his spare time, he will capture Osama bin Laden, invade Pakistan, and make friends with Ahmedidnejidad or whatever his name is and clear up the frightful misunderstanding which has clouded our relations with Iran.

Not only will we have universal health care, but legislation will be passed in Congress to prohibit anyone from getting sick for more than five days. Those who violate this law will be forced to watch a DVD of the principal speeches of Fidel Castro. All the way through.

Signed,
An embittered wife (MO).