Tuesday, October 23, 2007

A new type of tv news star

She has straight, really blonde hair, which she shakes around like a pony trying to get rid of a fly; she has a law degree, speaks with a simper and dresses and makes up like a hooker. It helps if she spells her name "cute." Megyn instead of Megan, Kelli instead of Kelly.

Fox News generally features them in pairs, like salt and pepper shakers: one is conservative, one is liberal, and they take turns in uttering banalities from, respectively, the right and the left. They interrupt each other and the newscaster and both talk at the same time, so no one can understand a word either of them is saying.

Somewhere in the Fox News Studio dressing rooms, there is a vat of really shiny lip gloss. Light actually bounces off these women's lips. Just to keep you confused, there is an occasional dark or short haired one.

By a triumph of will, even the lovely Harris Faulkner is transformed into an honorary blonde bimbo. Her lips actually twinkle.


dick stanley said...

I rather like the way they trivialize TV news, which is, in itself, a contradiction. But, then, I never watch. Of course their lips twinkle. They need a spark of life somewhere. Their brains are mush.

miriam said...

I believe they are all law school graduates.

Anonymous said...

Fox must be trying hard not have their news-ladies look like the lank, dishwater-brown-haired, pasty and sallow-faced leftie broom-riders we have come to associate with Anti-American causes.

Either that or, they know what people want to look at.

Come on now, Miriam, let's let blondes be blondes. I'm a poor old brunette who's taken the back seat to blondes all my life, but it's okay with me to look at blonde bimbos. What I don't like is looking at "realistic" women (like myself). I can get that in the mirror, any time I want. (And yes, I'm straight.)

xb said...
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