Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Depressing--in a low rent sort of way

When I think of the Larry Craig mess I want to reach for the thesaurus, searching for a word that sums it all up. How about these: sordid, squalid, pathetic, ludicrous. I believe it is all of these.

To me the sight of a grown man groveling and trying to explain the inexplicable while his enemies tear the flesh off his body and his erstwhile friends run away from him--well, it's depressing, yes, unedifying, but in a trailer park kind of way.

The evidence given by the arresting officer is weird: who knew that raising your foot and tapping your toe is evidence of illicit desire? I feel like Rip van Winkle waking up after 100 years: this modern world is just too much for me. In my state of deep cluelessness I might have assumed that the man was just trying to get the mud off his shoe. These subtleties are too deep for me.

And in what way is all this shoe tapping disturbing the public order? Please explain in 100 words or less.

The most disturbing feature of the whole thing is the absolute glee being taken in tormenting the man. His tormentors are schoolyard bullies grown to man's estate, but still totally without empathy for another's suffering. Their glee disgusts and nauseates me.

I hope each and every one of his tormentors is discovered in a compromising position with a live boy or a dead girl. Or perhaps having abandoned a woman to drown in a waterlogged car. Or discovered with $90,000 of illegal swag in his freezer.

5 comments:

prairie biker said...

The biggest problem is that he plead guilty, which shows that he certainly knew what it meant. And I think it's safe to say, all guys know that one thing you absolutely never do in a public restroom is sit in the very last stall and tap your foot.

airforcewife said...

I can only speak for my own opinions, but according to several friends I questioned, apparently the tapping is like a "Simon Says" deal - where there is copied and repeated tapping of increasing intricacy until there is no doubt that someone in the other stall wants to reciprocate.

At which point, either they join each other in a stall, there is a "glory hole", or they go out for a rendezvous.

The danger in this, to me, is not that there is gay sex going on - something that I really don't care about. It is that there is sex of any sort going on in a PUBLIC BATHROOM. Yuck. I have to send my hubby and son in there.

miriam said...

Matt: Wow! who knew?
afw: Of course, sex in the bathroom is the problem. But isn't toe-tapping constitutionally protected speech? Or something?

dick stanley said...

I grant you I've never tapped my feet in a public bathroom. Although I did not know it was verboten. Moreover, these days, with an MP3 player and ear buds, one might find oneself tapping the feet in time to the music. But if I saw a foot inching my way from the other stall, I would tend to hurry up and leave. Moreover, now that I must take my 7-year-old in such places, I favor such busts, especially of a U.S. senator who ought to have better options for anonymous sex. His name is Craig, BTW, not Clark. Unless you really meant the Hollyweird director.

miriam said...

Craig, Clark, I knew it was one of those goyishe names.

And yes, I'm against sex in public bathrooms. Do what you gotta do and get out.

And don't throw your litter around.