Thursday, March 08, 2007

Picking up a few things in WalMart

Basil goes shopping.

I don't have a local WalMart, but am unable to leave Target with under $100 in merchandise. Though those who know me would find it risible, I can't pass up a new cleaning product guaranteed to make some previously abhorrent task a breeze. The house is full of gizmos which supposedly make toilet cleaning or floor mopping a cinch. However, there is no such thing as a cinchy household task. Even straightening my sock drawer is an all-day task.

In fact, the only thing domestic about me is that I live in a house, and that's only because I am unable to find a forest clearing with central heating and an internet connection.

My other weakness is beauty products. I have so many potions, lotions, creams and cremes that my skin should be as smooth as glass. I can't figure out the proper combination of wrinkle removers and skin brighteners for optimum effect, so I keep buying more, seeking the holy grail of age reversal, using my face as a test tube. Judging by the number of products on my bathroom shelves, I should look about 12 any day now. And the house should be spotless.

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