What your college tuition dollars are buying

Iowahawk, the Onion, and the Nose on Your Face will soon go out of business. Reality has outdone them all.

I thought this was a a parody:

While their parents shell out $33,246 a year in tuition, Columbia University students doff their clothes at naked parties, flock to sex toys workshops, broadcast porn on campus TV, bake anatomically correct pies for the "Erotic Cake-Baking Contest" ...[]

Others volunteer for the bullwhip at Conversio Virium, the university-sanctioned S&M club that means "exchange of power" in Latin. It calls itself a "discussion group" that provides "education and peer support" and promotes "safe, sane and consensual play." But the club doesn't just talk.

Some workshops offered by the college:

# "Sex Toys 101." The university's Health Services division teamed up with Toys in Babeland, a SoHo sex shop, to host a sex toys workshop in John Jay Hall on Feb. 15.

Though it was part of "Safer Sex Week," the playthings on display on W. 114th St. included bondage and S&M tools like whips, paddles, "floggers" and "slappers."

# "Sexhibition." The annual campus sex fair, held in April, featured phallic ring toss games, orgasm-for-beginners workshops and discreet liaisons in the "Tent of Consent."

# "Thug Play with Princess Wendy." Another session of the S&M club, taking place Oct. 30 in Hamilton Hall, was advertised as "beating, punching and slamming boys into lockers, and why bullies are so so so much fun!"

...

# "Smut TV." CTV, Columbia's in-house, student-run TV station, has a faculty adviser, uses school equipment and space, gets $5,021 a year in student activity fees - and is hungry for new viewers.

So at 10 p.m. on Oct. 17, it entered the hard-core porn business: Broadcasting into scores of dorms and lounges, it aired a five-minute clip, downloaded from the Internet, of a naked couple engaged in sex.

Something for the students to look back on fondly as they pay off their six-figure student loans, while folding sweaters at the Gap.