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Saturday, September 23, 2006

I've got enough education...

I don't want to learn another damn thing. Actually, I don't mind learning per se, I'd like to learn Photoshop, for instance, but I don't ever want to spend a night or weekend thinking of the test I have to take or the paper I have to write. I actually used to dream about them! Imagine spending you nights with nightmares about Botany 101 or what Shakespeare meant by writing Coriolanus. Or trying to suss out the meaning of some 20th century poem.

In my senior year of college, I took it easy, taking nothing but English courses and fluff. And I got all A's, except one. I had discovered the secret of getting on the Dean's List. The English Department liked me. I even babysat their kids. I took only one course that gave me trouble.

It was a psych course, or a sociology course, I don't remember which; not that it mattered: the classroom hours were taken up by the professor, a pedant with a faux British accent, rambling on about Human Behavior or some such and the suckups in the class sagely nodding their heads. Apart from an astute comment now and then, my contribution was nil. I hadn't even read the textbook--no, correct that: I hadn't bought the textbook, which gave me no trouble keeping up. The only thing: he announced as the class was winding down that he would be giving an open-book final!

How do you go to an open book final without a book to open? The library didn't have it, so that was out, and it was an expensive book which I didn't have the money for at the time. It would have been totally embarrassing to show up without a book. I couldn't face it.

What did I do? Well, I asked the college bookstore to lend me the book over night. They did it! for one dollar. I returned it the next day.

I only got a C in the course, though.

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