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Impoverished librarian want to move up in the world:

I kind of need to create something which will jettison me to riches and fame because I'm just going to put it out there - being poor and unknown has lost its shine. At first it was fun, oh yes indeed, there were good times had by all. Digging in the couch for change, wanting to eat ramen noodles because they're cheap but yet not being able to because ramen is FILLED WITH THE DEMON GLUTEN...in other words, fun. And then one day, not so much. The fun died as I watched Paris Herpesilton move her mountains of money around with bulldozers operated by lemurs in Louis Vuitton hats and Prada booties, money she's earned solely for having a hook nose and fake hair. I'm over it.

On my journey to riches by means of various ingenious inventions, I've run into a few roadblocks, chief among them I'm very lazy and unfortunately untalented with woods and metals. But necessity and spite should be able to overcome these roadblocks, eh?

Does anyone just want to go ahead and give me some money?

It's better than giving it to moveon.com.