Piss in all the wrong places

Johnny V complains about the piss distribution around (not in) urinals:

...I now piss in the stall where it's dry and I don't stick to the floor....[A]t least I no longer feel compelled to burn my shoes.

Goddammit people. AIM for chrissakes. It's not that difficult. And if you're too fat to get close enough, dangle your dongle in a coffee cup and then dump it or something.

In the ladies' room, even using the stall won't save you. In the last ten years, I have noticed a new phenomenon: urine on the toilet seat. How it gets there, I know not.

My established MO for using the facilities: I furtively go from stall to stall, doing the following:

1. Check if toilet has been flushed;
2. Check if someone has dribbled urine on the seat;
3. Check whether there is toilet paper. (Or be prepared with Kleenex in purse.)

Life used to be so much simpler.