Sunday, May 28, 2006

Blueberries and hardboiled eggs

Friday I took a hard-boiled egg out of the refrigerator and put it on the kitchen counter. As round objects do, it rolled, in this case onto the floor, where it disappeared into an undisclosed location. I looked for it. I'd rather find it now than on a later occasion, when the location would be disclosed by a mighty stink.

Okay, said I to myself. The kitchen floor needs washing anyway, and the egg might appear. The floor looked better though, so I thought I would wash the floor in the two upstairs bathrooms. I did. They looked better.

So last night I took some blueberries out of the refrigerator. The little cellophane case came open and the kitchen floor was wall-to-wall blueberries. I got down on my hands and knees and picked up all the blueberries, I thought. Stood up. Saw three more under the refrigerator. Picked them up. Another was in the corner by the sink. Got it.

Now wait--I am going to connect this all up, as they say in the courtroom scenes I have seen on television.

I am walking around my newly cleaned domain, feeling pretty smug. Kitchen floor--clean. Bathroom floors, check. Polish the faucet and prepare to take a shower.

All of a sudden I notice this smear on my bathroom floor. It looked like an extremely repellent smashed bug. Cleaned it up. Went into the kitchen, and there was another obscene smear. Looked at my slippers.

I had a couple of blueberries stuck to the bottom of my slippers.

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