Nine things I hate about Jimmy Carter

9. He was sworn into office as Jimmy, not James.

8. He took foreign policy advice from his teenage daughter, Amy.

7. He followed Amy's advice.

6. He bragged about following Amy's advice in speeches.

5. He loved dictators.

4. He talked about "strange malaise." We were malaisy because he was President. When Reagan became president, we were fine.

3. His teeth.

2. He knuckled under to the hostage takers instead of sending them to collect their supply of virgins.

1. He wore a sweater like Mr Rogers.