password meshugas

I have too many f***ing passwords. And usernames. When I entered Password Hell, I made up my mind I would only have one password and one username. This has proved impossible, because all passwords are not created equal. Some demand upper and lower case letters, some want figures, some want letters and figures. Some insist on more than 6 characters.

The first dozen or so were easy. My e-mail name and my bank PIN. I could remember those, and various combinations thereof. Then comes the New York Times. I forgot my username and password but had endless trouble retrieving them. So I signed up anew. I thought Miriam would be a catchy username, but somebody already had it. I was offered miriam27, which totally f***ed up my system.

This thing has gone too far. In order to see whether Staples has cartridges for my printer, I have to sign in. Is this because I need to keep my information classified, in case Hamas finds out I have ordered cartridges? Has Staples joined forces with Homeland Security? None of the above. It's so Staples can send you e-mail messages. They can keep track of what you buy. This helps their business. But I don't give a damn about their business.
And I thought voicemail was a pain in the neck.