Wyatt Earp wants to take over the world:
Support Your Local Gunfighter is just Phase One of my master plan to rule the world. My unsuspecting minions have fallen under the spell of this blog's subliminal advertising (Submit!), and my job as a police officer is the perfect breeding ground for a future dictator. Once I topple the existing government in a bloody coup, there will be a few changes around here. For instance:
Political correctness will be outlawed, and offenders who violate this new policy will be brutally beaten by "offensive" Native American college mascots.
Ebonics will be summarily dismissed from the culture, and will be replaced with "McBonics" – an Irish slang where the last word of every sentence will have a "Mc" in front of it. For example, this blog will be known as Support Your Local McGunfighter.
Oh, dear! But the worst is yet to come:
Finally, the following people will be deported to forced labor camps: Chris Berman, Stuart Scott, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Philly mayor John Street, PA governor Ed Rendell, Matthew Lesko, rappers, and every girl who rejected my advances in high school (it's a big list).
Is that all? I can propose a few more; in fact, I have a little list, they'll none of them be missed:
All New Jersey politicians;
All former New Jersey politicians.
I have more, but that will get us started. How about you? Any suggestions?