How to enjoy library conferences

An experienced conference attendee dispenses hardwon advice:

Sitting through a day of presentations with other librarians can drive a person to drink. When you go to a professional library conference, you should spend your evenings binge drinking and being obnoxious with other librarians in the hotel bar. If there's anything more exciting than forgetting that you're an adult and reverting to your oh-so-attractive, old college self, it's spending your down time with more librarians. Be sure to use all your outdated college slang (e.g., "I wanna get smashed!") to make it that much more obvious that you don't get out much.

I seriously recommend drinking before, duing and after library meetings. If you're drunk enough, you may miss the reeferences to "diversity," "thinking outside the box," "visioning," and "new paradigm."