Thursday, August 11, 2005

I hate green stuff

I have to agree with Sarah. Sometimes even the thought of that healthy green stuff makes me want to puke.

I want to put out a preemptive apology to all of those people who know me and will have to be around me for the next few weeks. If I am in a bad mood, it is because I am on a diet. It is completely self-inflicted, and it won't be your fault, but there is a distinct possibility I will act like it is your fault.

Here is why I am most angry. I went to the grocery store tonight, and here is a list of some of the items that I bought:

fat free turkey
fat free chicken
absolutely no pop
oh and did I mention salad

Now here are my general feelings on every single thing on this list:
I would rather chew on tin foil.

Seriously look at that list. Stupid effing pointless horrible salad. Why don't I just eat a box of Kleenex since it tastes just as good and is just as satisfying. Plus I am only drinking water which definitely does not have cola in it nor does it fizz and kind of make your nose burn when you drink it too fast. What is fun about that. And don't get me started on yogurt. I don't like it. I don't understand it. I want it to go away...forever.

Why am I doing this if I hate it so much?

1. My doctor is like, "You're fat."
2. I was kind of half-assing it the past few weeks, but then I saw pictures of me from Put In Bay. I quickly created a noose out of some spare birthday ribbon I had, but the damn thing didn't hold so I decided to go this route.

I also notice that being on a diet makes me intensely, excruciatingly hungry.

I had a salad today at the diner which was really, really good. It had spinach, apples, nuts, bacon, and blue cheese. I ate it all, except the spinach.

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