Seasons of modern life

In New York City, there are really only two seasons -- "Winter" and "Road Work." Winter was cold and inconvenient. "Road Work" was hot and inconvenient.My coworker ... never failed to signify [Road Work] by dropping by my office first thing in the morning, his Starbucks commuting coffee mug in his hand, and saying, "Boy, oh, boy, do you believe how hot it is? Damn!"

He was a living, breathing, mind-numbing example of why the number two fantasy of people who work in offices is the ruthless slaughter of one or more of their coworkers....

When I moved to southern California, this was one little daily irritation I was happy to leave behind along with "Winter" and "Road Work." Instead, I got only one season, "Traffic," but since you have to go to "Traffic" that was okay. I no longer needed to kill my coworker, so that was a win.

In the New York New Jersey metropolitan area, we have one other season: "Frightening rainstorm with flooding." There are some areas of New Jersey that are flooded as regularly as the swallows return to Capistrano. People who live in these areas tend to keep their most prized possessions on the second floor.