Curses on Experian--also Equifax

Freqnently when I buy something at a store I've never used, they offer me a discount if I open a credit account. Why not? So I do. Not that i'll ever use it again , but they don't know that, do they?

Well, I applied for one at Banana Republic, and I was refused! Refused! And I went to the same high school Les Wexner* attended! (Not at the same time, however). They said the credit company, Experian, would write to me, explaining the reason.

The reason--a lame one--they couldn't track down my Social Security Number. They would probably issue a card to Mohammed Atta with no compunction, but me--could not trace my social security number.

Assholes.

I tried to call, but they have no phone number answered by persons of the human persuasion. Even pretending you have a rotary phone does no good. So I wrote them a scorching letter. The paper almost caught fire. I asked them, among other things, why they couldn't find my ^*%$ SSN and to take back their rotten rejection, apologize to me, and send me roses. Pink or yellow, if possible.

In return, I received a letter which was completely beside the point, saying I had already had one free credit report (I hadn't)and had to pay if I wanted another one. They gave me a couple of 800 numbers and told me that if I had sent them a check, they had shredded it.

I tried calling both the phone #s they gave me, and ended up in voice mail jail, which I am sure was their intention.

Got on their web site. clicked to a promising link which turned out to be a law firm which would handle all my credit problems for $39.95 a month. No thanks.

I finally got an e-mail from Equifax informing me I had an excellent credit rating. How did they know?

May they all have to sit through a 20 inning baseball game with hemmorhoids.