Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Introducing my new dental team

When dentists start talking about teamwork, I know it's going to cost me. There are three members on our team. I'm the one with the open mouth and the empty wallet. The other two are the ones shopping for new Mercedes, the car of choice for dentists.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Raise your blood pressure, lower your IQ

and ruin your day. Just try to call 1) Verizon, 2) Comcast, 3) Social Security, 4) your bank, or _______________ (fill in the blank yourself) and deal with their caller direction system. They should make it easier for you, the consumer, otherwise known as hey Rube! Instead, these systems are designed to protect the staff of whatever organization you are trying to communicate with from any contact with a live customer. I always feel a great energy drain from the other end of the line, like a gigantic vacuum cleaner. They suck the little grey cells out of your brain, and after an hour or so you are a gibbering idiot who can't remember how to tie your shoes.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Ho hum.

This election cycle, no matter how stridently everyone carries on. seems boring to me.
F
irst, the President. He has pulled every trick out of his little bag of tricks, and it's empty now. So he opened Pandora's box and let out-Debbie Wasserman Schulz. Shakespeare said a low voice is an excellent thing in woman, but the Debster didn't get the memo. She is the closest thing we have to a perpetual motion machine.
As for Romney, a man who actually says "Gosh" when he hits his thumb with a hammer, or so I imagine--he is our generation's answer to Warren G Harding, handsome but deeply boring.
There are 300 million people in the country, couldn't we do better than this?

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

In what way is abortion a campaign issue?

It's not.
Abortion is permitted by law, and confirmed as legal by the Supreme Court. So why are we talking about it? Why don't we discuss how many orfreys an archbishop can have on his chasuble? That would be more pertinent.
George W Bush, ostensibly anti-abortion, did nothing to change this law because there was nothing he could realistically do. Clinton did nothing, Obama did nothing, Romney will do nothing. So who cares what their respective opinions are about abortion; it's as relevant as their opinions on pickled herring.
T
he real takeaway from this whole discussion is the knowledge that a member of Congress can be as dumb as a post. Dumber, really, because a post can't make a fool of itself. We leave that to Todd Akin. Oh, yes, and Debbie Wasserman Schulz.
Oy vey! These people are running the country!

Friday, August 17, 2012

The boy genius.

My brother the genius as a boy. He really was an extraordinarily bright child, reading physics books when he was five. He went to school for the requisite 13 years, but they didn't teach him anything, he knew it all already. His practical judgment is another story. He used an inheritance to buy a Wang computer. Remember them? Neither does anyone else, except perhaps Mr Wang. It cost $30,000 but was, according to him, a great investment. The company went out of business the following year. In the 1970s, he believed strongly that we were going to run out of natural gas within the near future. He tried to get mother to convert to oil heat, but she pointblank refused. This led me to conclude that we would soon have a glut of natural gas. He thinks everyone in the country should be on Medicare. Any takers for that theory?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Let's save money by cutting the library's budget

Instapundit had a post some time ago about Harvard having to cut expenditures. They started by cutting one of the periodical subscriptions the University Library receives which costs $40,000 a year.
Forty thousand is a big sum of money, to be sure. The periodical is probably useless. But they could save a lot more if they fired a couple of diversity counselors or vice presidents in charge of student sensitivity. Or gender issues. Furthermore, the periodical subscription does not have health benefits, paid leave, or sabbaticals and doesn't hassle anyone. It just sits there quietly, minding its own business and moldering on the shelves, while the administrative personnel are not only useless but troublesome.
E
very time any organization or municipal body needs to save money, they cut the library's budget. Not the salaries of cops who park their patrol cars in the back of the supermarket parking lot in order to take a snooze, or the clerk who has been sitting at her desk quietly doing the crossword puzzle for the last 14 years. That would take work, you would have to ascertain which employees do necessary tasks and which are worthless, and anyway this person is a cousin of the Mayor.
Governor Christie did not cut funding for libraries. What he did was cut funding for municipalities, who then decided that it would be okay for the library to only be open three days a week.

Monday, August 06, 2012

New they're bringing the FBI into this:

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING 935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON D.C. 20535-0001 TEL: 202-324-3447 Attn: Fund Beneficiary This is an official advice from the FBI, foreign remittance/telegraphic dept. (FRTD), it has come to our notice that the (central bank of Nigeria) C.B.N and there local banks in Nigeria has released your full inheritance/contract payment of 10,000,000 U.S dollars into bank of America in your name as the beneficiary as there corresponding bank in USA. The bank in Africa knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from Europe to your account and they used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment S.T.D.P to pay this fund through wire transfer. They are still waiting for final confirmation from you on the already transferred funds, to enable them crediting into your account accordingly. secret diplomatic transfer payment are normally funds related to drug/terrorist and money laundry system of payment, why must your payment be made in such secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate and not related to drug/terrorist and money laundry, why can't the bank in Africa via Europe effect direct transfer into your account than secret diplomatic payment transfer. Due to the increased difficulties and unnecessary scrutiny by the American authorities when funds come from through such payment process from Europe, Africa and middle east, based on the records we had in the past always identified such method of payment as drug/ terrorist/money laundry funds, to avoid problem with the us government as soon as these funds reflect in your account in the U.S.A, it is our mandatory obligations to ascertain the documentation and certification of this funds before the final crediting into your account. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and held in our custody pending when you were able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (DIST) and letter of indemnity clearance certificate within 24hours from the united nation international fund monitory unit (UNIFMU) that authorize the transfer and certified that the funds originated from Africa and middle east is free from terrorist/drug and money laundry or we shall confiscate the payment. We will allow the funds to be release into your nominated account immediately you make provision the required document. You will be directed where and how to get the document if it is not in your possession. Your’s sincerely Robert S. Mueller, III
FBI Director Those ingenious Nigerians! However, they need to learn the proper spelling of "monetary.